Stress of Lockdown
(Part V)
Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies
and Goldies
(Solitude Tonic Against Stress)
Corona,
the Chinese Virus, Covid19, came and sent everybody inside, more so the seniors
being with low immunity generally and thus made seniors lonely, even among the
family crowd they themselves created, it is like water water everywhere not a
drop to drink. Even otherwise, in this modern era of family planning,
particularly in the middle class families, there in India is a craze, for
settling abroad, parents have to be alone as they at the advanced age, perhaps
can’t get citizenship in the foreign lands and moreover children wants to enjoy
the space they were missing in India when living with their parents. I have
still to see a known having taken his parents to his place of settlement abroad
for permanent residence even when the time has left only one spouse on the
earth and that too female one: even when parents go for vacations they are
dispatched quickly to India if they develop serious or routine illness like
tooth extraction, simply for financial consideration. Circle of life requires
every one mostly the ladies to spend many years, sometimes decades of their
life alone without the shadow of the life partner. This forced loneliness, a
reality of life and that way every senior should learn how to change the biting
loneliness to enjoyable solitude, enjoy it
instead of suffering from loneliness and Corona has provided a golden
opportunity to learn this skill.
Loneliness
is being without company with a feel of sadness from being alone, without care
and love is a far cry. It also produces a feeling of bleakness or
desolation, in fact, it is negativity all round, leading to stress and many a
times to depression. Lonely is not being alone, it is feeling that no one cares
that way it is your expectation from others that make the things worse. It is
worry not unnecessary as most of us are not able to take bold decisions like
having a partner again or going to deluxe old age home; but in the present
style of living being individualistic throughout the world it has to be
necessarily borne, so why not to make loneliness an enjoyable asset – the
solitude - the quality of being alone or remote from society without any regret
only enjoyment.
Never
fear Love's absence in your life, because it already exists within you, in
great abundance.
Eleesha
Solitude
is, in fact, an environment created by self-choice to enjoy loneliness
with a specific purpose like a mystic - a person who seeks by contemplation and
self-surrender to obtain unity with or absorption into the Deity or the Absolute
or like Bill
Gates who takes every year two “Think Weeks” to spend them alone in a cabin in
the woods to escape the noise, read books, reflect on his progress and engage
in deeper creative thought. There are ordinary people who adopt solitude to
live joyful life as loneliness has been imposed upon by the circumstances. The
point is this: it’s essential for mental health and personal growth to learn
how to spend time alone. And perhaps the greatest benefit of solitude is that
it gives you a chance to learn more about self.
“Solitude,
the joy of being alone, stems from, as well as promotes, a state of maturity
and inner richness.”
— Neel Burton
The
second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has
acquired during the first half.
Feodor Dostoevski
When
imposed by circumstances, reconciliation
with the change is the first requirement to turn loneliness into solitude.
Your faith in spirituality, your love for life, positive attitude, acceptance
of change, the law of continuity on this planet, the show must go on thought,
that every problem has a limited life span etc – the ingredients of positivity
will further guide you in the right direction.
Time
is a big healer people say but it is so if you allow it to
make the past opaque, if you do not cooperate with time every wound would ooze
blood dark and red full of pain, so move with the time and allow it to operate
at its own gait and accept the verdict of the nature.
Most
of the people say they are bored following the same routine for years together,
if you study those who have no routine they are big failure in one aspect or
the other. Routine is a magic wand to move towards solitude from loneliness in
old age where loneliness is the order. One
must develop a daily routine if not following one: should follow the same
with rigidity with the exceptions essential to enjoy life as and when required.
You’ll
never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is found in your
daily routine.
John C. Maxwell
SWOT
is a management tool. Do sincerely your
own SWOT- Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats analysis. It is
very difficult exercise, seldom have found men who were sincere and honest with
themselves, but it is very paying in any situation. Once one knows, at least,
his strengths and weaknesses, it is possible to concentrate on the strengths
that will give a purpose to life, as success in anything may be even in a
Solitaire game on internet is a positive and encouraging action. Knowing
weaknesses and to take care of them, is the strongest weapon to proceed on the
journey to success.
Keep your soul happy:
Keep
the man inside - your soul – your contact with the Creator happy. It is not an off
on phenomena. You have to carefully craft your way to reach the goal. Small
things set right or done in a correct way will show the path of happiness may
be for a few seconds: for example, if any of your helpers like watchman, maid,
car wash boy has done something in right way to your liking, appreciate it, then and there, if
possible, give a token of your appreciation like a cup of tea or coffee or
money therefor, that would bring smile on their face and a broad wish voice for
you every day that would give you happiness for a few seconds. Give charity to
the deserving unexpectedly.
Concern for others
may be unknown strangers - their grief, happiness, problems, issues is another
juggle that will provide you instant satisfaction and happiness. Act when
humanity needs it, but in present day it is the “worldly-wise” outer that keeps
us away from good and timely deeds.
“Only a life lived for others is a life
worthwhile.”
Albert Einstein
Responsibility is a wonderful concept provided you
enjoy doing work for welfare of others, it gives you enjoyment and satisfaction
even if you do not want to show on your face and in your actions.
Responsibility gives a person feeling of belonging and ownership. He then
becomes a part of bigger picture. Seeing one’s idea being implemented is
emotionally gratifying in itself. Lack of responsibility is demotivating and
makes the life aimless. Responsibility well performed gives a person:
(1) Recognition (2) Reward (3) Respect
(4) Regards (5) Remuneration (6) a sense of giving
Remember that the happiest people are
not those getting more, but those giving more.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Praise the Lord
for whatever and wherever you are. Be grateful to Him. Listen to His praise as
and when it happens to be your way, one can also do it in a dedicated manner,
do it from the core of your heart. When one offers prayers of praise to the
Lord, His power manifests in one’s life and may lead to miracles-solution to
the problems which were evading answer for so long. Praise of the Lord, brings
you closer to His presence, hence the Bliss.
No
grudge, evil feeling, jealousy against any one, no harm anywhere. Try to
forget such incidents of the past, always remember a spark can become a flame
but a drop can’t become an ocean, one has to collect drops for years together
to make them into an ocean. More you succeed in these aspects nearer you are to
the goal of enjoying solitude.
Another ingredient of happy soul is
smile, always keep a smiling face, smile is infectious, once
you smile the other person has to smile. Speak good words that too polite and
polished with everyone even with those considered down-trodden. Praise is key
to happiness and smile; do it sincerely.
Listening is another pillar of happy
soul. Develop your listening skills, not taught in any school
or institute, a jewel of human personality.
Live
in peace
A
man is born in peace and soon he dies he is in peace again. The Lord sends him
in peace and takes back him in peace. Turbulence is between the two peace ends
and most of it is man’s own creation. Anybody can achieve physical peace: to be
at peace is the issue. Lao Tzu says
“If you are depressed you are living in
the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are at peace,
you are living in the present.”
Lao Tzu
Live
in the present that is fundamental for peace in life. Love yourself and let the
others live the way they like.
If one achieves as mentioned above
loneliness automatically becomes solitude – a bliss –the highest of happiness.
Those
who have learnt to enjoy solitude have discovered a mine of enjoyment and self-care.
It
boosts one’s concentration, creativity and memory. It allows one to rewind, to
reflect and more so, allow imagination to wander. It improves one’s mental
wellbeing, makes one happier with lower levels of stress and lessor possibility
of depression. It empowers one to become comfortable with whom he is. The more one
learn to shun out external influence, the more comfortable and confident one
feels about his originality.
One
can do lot of things in solitude. One such thing is Meditation which calms and
sharpens one’s focus. One can write diary daily - a habit which the modern
generation does not know. It is to be in conversation with self, good or bad,
after writing down bad emotions one feels lighter. Set your goals and review
their progress sincerely: can pay lot of attention to self physically and
emotionally also.
Solitude
is the place of purification.
Martin Buber.
Solitude
is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it.
Deepak Chopra
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