Stress of Lockdown (Part II) Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

 

Stress of Lockdown

(Part II)

Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

(Coffee starts the Day)

 

The Govt. of India had asked the citizens to stay at home right from 25^th March 2020, when the Lockdown was first imposed; senior citizens have been confined even though there has been opening up of the system simply because people lack Corona Appropriate Behaviour endangering not only others but  themselves also. Immunity decreases with age, so this has also prompted many youngsters to ask seniors to stay safe at home. Chronic diseases erode immunity of elderly people has made them more prone to Corona. In addition, the number of deaths of the seniors has confirmed the fears of the younger generation. So to stay inside is in favour of everybody and seniors the more. We must reconcile and manage that way.

 

"A daily routine built on good habits and disciplines separates the most successful among us from everyone else. The routine is exceptionally powerful."

                                                                                     Darren Hardy

 

A common man in his golden years, when the shadows of trees of life like marriage, youth, spouse, digestion, children their education marriage and their settlement, have lengthened, has no routine in the sense people understand: still he has the routine the one he follows: that is enough to live a wonderful, stress free and active life worthy to boast of.  Get up from your bed in wee hours of the day: thanking the Lord for the wonderful sleep and the sweet dreams you had last night. Sit straight for a few minutes with eyes shut having image of the Lord therein, in your bed itself, in obeisance.

 

Move to the toilet if you have the urge: if not then do something for it, like taking a glass of warm water or strolling at home or having a cup of tea whereas smokers say it is after the smoke, I do not know where the magic lies but fact is, it is not as easy as said. You have to prepare a night before, if you are not taking enough roughage - fibrous indigestible material in vegetable foodstuffs which aids the passage of food and waste products through the gut, like some herbal or allopathic tablets. Do whatever you want to do but ensure that the stomach is clean otherwise, it upsets rest of the day with a gloom on one’s face. Clean your teeth and throat thoroughly: remember no medicine or antibiotic can clean the excess mucus already produced and deposited by the glands in the throat so clean your throat with warm water as deep as possible and gargle with gurgling sound with a little salt in the look warm water that will give you freshness you would love.

 

Now go the temple at home; stand before the Lord with folded hands: chant the prayer if you know one: if you do not know, no problem, Lord has no name and he has thousands of name: a normal person at this age has already seen the Lord in different religious places, if somebody has not, it is no problem: issue is one must know the image of Lord to concentrate on, so make your own image of the Lord  if you are not familiar with the one and bring it before your eyes and then to your heart, feel you are before the Lord and He is before you. Now repeat the name of the Lord as many times as you like with His image in eyes as seen somewhere or known to you, repeat as many names as you know, all the different names end in one Lord. Feel presence of the Lord near and around you, He is listening even your silence. Next step is, thank the Lord for whatever you have and achieved in life and He has bestowed on you, be grateful and submissive. Tell the Lord names of all those, for whom you want His blessings: always remember requests, prayers made for others as accepted by the Lord quickly. What blessings you want from the Lord, it is big question, but always seek good health, advancement, comfort, peace, wealth and other treasures. Remember He exactly knows what you want even without saying. Lastly make special prayer if any. Thank Lord once again before leaving.

 

When the heart gets into prayer, every beat of the heart creates a miracle.

                                                                      Harbhajan Singh Yogi

 

Now  proceed to prepare  coffee for yourself and your spouse, the way and the taste you like with sugar or without sugar, light or strong, may be black coffee, milk coffee, cream coffee, espresso coffee or some other, add to it whatever you like, never forget to add love and affection while preparing coffee. Smell the steam coming out of the hot coffee pot. What a wonderful aroma. Take the coffee pot to your drawing room in a beautiful tray cover with tea-cosy. Sit as comfortably as you can in your drawing room, which you have decorated so tastefully to receive the guests known and unknown but you never enjoyed its lure and ambience: no need to switch on the lights; morning twilight coming from the door or windows or behind the curtains is enough: coolness of the morning breeze will add to it a charm to remember that lingers on. Pour the coffee in most colorful cups may be preserved from the days of your marriage with many memories inscribed thereon. Pour this dark brown gold with style and honour no spills, no hurry, only the fragrance of coffee all round. Pour in two cups. Make your spouse to sit with you the way you were doing on a date before marriage away from the eyes of others specially the known ones at a very special place. Enjoy sip by sip, every sip, as if you are in the most loved place you ever thought of and coffee is a drink from heaven, with memories of the past or the plans of the future which is dark and deep but we want it golden happy.

 

 “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”                                                                      Cassandra Clare

 

End this morning coffee session as wonderfully and cozy as you want; may be a lovely kiss or a hug reassuring your love for the day, and can be still higher remembrance of the golden early days of the marriage. Hold hand of your bride, the girl friend and move out taking each step in style and with attitude that she enjoys.

 

 “I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.”

                                                                                                                             Laurell K. Hamilton

 

“A good day starts with a positive attitude and a great cup of coffee.”

                                                                              Some Great Soul

 

After the coffee session move to your living room, where you spend most of your time, with wife, children, friends and even unknowns, having lunch and dinner; and also all nonsense sessions talking about Corona news, messages, whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter where people write beyond your apprehension, and listen, not talk, the devotional music  from the masters and entertain your soul   to the best of positive thoughts the only condition is engross with the words, their meaning, essence,  feeling the presence of the Lord and His actions, see Him showering blessing on you, for your wonderful day.   The devotional music takes you to inside from outside, sing if you can, still better if with family, it’s a journey to the truth, enlightenment, bliss and to enjoy the present the greatest truth, everything happen before you. Continue as long as possible and be in attendance of the Lord.

 

If you sing alone in your shrine, the vibrations return to you as a reaction. But in community singing, what you have is not a reaction but a wave of vibrations. They enter into the atmosphere and purify the polluted air.

 

Sathya Sai Baba 

 

A good start to the day, now you can have bath, body massage, shave hair cut also and then the breakfast like a king. You must take care of yourself as much as possible because you are replica of the Lord and He has trusted you the duty to keep it healthy. The stress has gone with coffee and the music and be happy all the day in your home the lovely home not the confinement.   

 

Your future is found in your daily routine. Successful people do daily what others do occasionally!

                                                                                       Paula White

Stress of Lockdown I Think of Senior, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

 

Stress of Lockdown I

Think of Senior, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

(Sunrise starts the Day)

                                       

Lockdown a term which was commonly unknown till recently when Corona started: people were well aware of Lockout meaning - the exclusion of employees by their employer from their place of work until certain terms are agreed to. What is Lockdown: it is the confining of prisoners to their cells, typically in order to regain control during a riot. That is what the dictionary means.

 

When Corona infection started, China was first to introduce its people to the concept of Lockdown. In India people came to know of it on 24th March 2020, when complete Lockdown was imposed all over India. All transport services and establishment were closed with the exception as specified by the Govt. The citizens were asked to stay at home and allowed to go out in the neighborhood markets for medicines, groceries, milk and vegetables without Lockdown passes otherwise they were required to obtain passes from the district authorities. In addition, while going out people were required to wear masks and keep social distancing of six feet from a person nearby. People were also advised to wash their hands whenever they touched anything outside home, use sanitizer after coming in contact with the objects outside home and avoid touching their mouth and nose.

 

In such situation those who were old say senior citizens and also suffering from some chronic disease were required to take care more as the immunity decreases with age. Children and other family members restricted the movement of elderly people  only within home with majority have small houses not enough space even to spread legs and it became Lock in, in place of Lockdown for such senior citizens and oldies.

 

Thus the seniors got confined, had no source to pass the time, newspaper having been stopped because of its handling by many personnel, so is with magazines and the smart phone made them still lonely being every younger was busy with his downloads. TV watching a good source to kill time but news channels are bad enough because of too much repetition of a single news and so many advertisements. Age also kills many programmes which younger prefer, so watching TV has limited use in this Corona time.

 

So seniors were left only with to spend the time for personal services, eating, purchase of vegetable from the hawkers in the street with many eye borrows moving up, medicine and milk being delivered at home. With age hours of sleep also get reduced and no way to endues sleep even by taking “Alprax” which stands banned over the counter except on a Doctor’s prescription. One feels tired even of lying in the bed the whole day. Lot of time to spare what to do. Hence family quarrels, irritating nature, boring atmosphere, all round negativity and gloom. Hence the stress leading to depression in some weak souls.

 

What is the remedy? No ready-made tablet to be swallowed with water or milk that wipes of stress. We can’t go out or on vacation so solution has to be at home.

 

Fact of the matter is millions of generations have gone ahead of us and millions will follow us. Thus life has never stopped and death has never prevailed for too long. When we come back from the burial or cremation, we all wash our hands and face, some pray to Almighty others do not pray, but all of us are together at the table to eat food, refreshment and take water tea or other beverages. Where is the gloom, it gets reduced a little and normal reaction of a human being to full stomach is he likes to take a nap something most refreshing and natural. So to end the gloom and stress watch life, “show must go on”. But where to watch life is the next important question.

 

Get up early in the morning, at least one hour before the Sun rise, if not in the Amritwela, refresh yourself, go to the place from where you can see the rising Sun-the fountain of life, hope, happiness, growth, advancement, and all energy on mother earth, do all this before He the Sun pierce twilight from the horizon. Sun rise is one of the most special times of the day.People say where such place is - fact is, it is not far away, it can be roof of your apartment, balcony or window of your room or just a few steps in the street from your house: the only requirement is, you must have the searching eye, if you have, you have the place of your dreams you desire: go to such a place and wait for visible Sun-God full of energy spiritually and scientifically also. Smell the fresh air without the smell of newspaper and your mobile. See how before his arrival the sky gets lightened up, as if it is greeting his arrival. Set your eyes at place where he is likely to arrive. Soon he shows a part of his face, then half and slowly it becomes a complete clear red disc giving solace to the eyes a scene to be hold capture in your eyes and slowly take it inside you. In few minutes, this red disc turns yellow enjoy the transformation and all darkness goes, it is the day clear, calm with cool breeze. Perform Surya Namaskar if you can and know how to do it that will give you immense energy and bring positivity in your mood and actions. Even if you do not know, no problem, pay your obeisance with folded hands and pray for the welfare of yourself and your loved ones. Slowly it obtains the character as we know Him the Sun source of light and heat. Learn from the Sun, start slowly and reach the full strength in your actions - whatever it is.

 

 “If you are in a beautiful place where you can enjoy the sunrise and sunset, then you are living like a lord.”

                                                                                                                                     Nathan Phillips

 

 “Sunrise looks spectacular in nature; sunrise looks spectacular in the photos; sunrise looks spectacular in our dreams; sunrise looks spectacular in the paintings, because it really is spectacular!”

                                                                          Mehmet Murat Ildan

 

Now have a cup of your beverage tea or coffee you love, enjoy every sip, sip by sip, do not just gallop down the throat to the belly: see around also with open eyes, heart full of love and affection, searching and ears open: possibility is you would find something nice and adorn worthy very near to you: what that can be; that would give you happiness and peace; it is chirping of the birds with the sweet sound coming from the black Koel or a black sparrow eating only the best and sweetest flowers sitting at the top most branch of  the tree which has just shed its  old leaves and is full of small delicate  new leaves and also the buds and the small flowers. If you happen to be in a multistory building you are very lucky, that will give you an opportunity to see the beauty of neighborhood tree from the top a view few can get. Some flowering tree like Gulmohar with red yellow flowers or Amaltas  the Golden showers (Golden colour flowers), Dhak the flame of the forest (Bright red flowers), Kachnar (violet flowers) are too beautiful from the top. This is nature enjoy it as long as you like and can. Develop friendship with them every day they will wait for you and you would also be too eager to see them the next morning.

 

If you follow the above: it gives wonder start to your day and almost half the day in gone before you are on your breakfast table; no stress, no depression and no negativity.

 

Being able to smell the fresh air and disconnect from news and phone- there is nothing like it.

                                                                                         Jason Ward

Stress of EMIs Equated Monthly Installments

Stress of EMIs

Equated Monthly Installments

 

“What are you more scared of life or death?”
“EMI” said a corporate slave.

Nimisha Toshniwal

 

My daughter had taken a loan of Rs12 Lakh from one of the Banks at the interest rate of 10% per annum for a period of twenty years for an EMI of about Rs.11000 per month, for making part payment for the house she had purchased.  After about six years, being her father, asked her to check up the total down payment of interest and principal she was required to make to full and final payment to adjust the loan taken. When she checked with the Bank it transpired to our shock that even after making payment of Rs.11000x12x6 =Rs.7,92,000 being the amount of 72 monthly instalments paid, she was required to pay Rs.12 Lakhs plus the interest due, if any, at the time of final adjustment. Not even a single rupee of principal had been adjusted out of payment of Rs.7,92,000 made to the Bank. What was this: was it a loot or EMI: it appears pure and simple loot. Obviously it was not EMI, it was simply the interest every month that she was required to pay and this defeated the definition of EMI that this equated monthly payment compulsorily includes principal and interest: this is prevalent world over. This is really criminal breach of trust reposed by a customer in the financial institution.

 

A loan is a financial agreement between two parties, a lender and a borrower. Under this agreement, the lender gives a specific amount of money to the borrower with the intent that the amount borrowed is paid back with interest as monthly installments whether as EMI or otherwise or straight away lump sum with interest, over a predetermined period of time by the borrower.

 

The easiest and most transparent method is, divide the principal by the number of monthly installments agreed to, add to it monthly simple interest at the agreed rate on the balance outstanding at the first of each month. Thus amount of installment and interest would reduce every month. If some more amount is paid in advance it is adjusted against the principal and further reducing the interest burden, no penalty for advance payment. Reduced amount of monthly installment gave people real pleasure and a motivation to make the advance payments. This is the  traditional method followed by most of the co-operative financial institutions like the Co-operative Thrift and Credit Societies.

 

Above procedure required the lender to calculate the amount of installment every month, so was slightly cumbersome for them and costly too as they were required to employ somebody for the purpose. Secondly the Banks’ income from interest reduced every month and the prudent borrowers were able to settle their accounts earlier than the period agreed upon. Whereas Banks wanted lesser work load with steady income. Taking a cue from foreign financial institutions Banks and other financial institutions introduced the Indian borrowers to the concept of Equated Monthly Installments.

 

The benefit of an EMI for borrowers is that they know precisely how much money they will need to pay toward their loan each month, which can make personal budgeting a little easier. This argument appears slightly logical but person’s life is managed not simply on ease but on many other important considerations. In fact, a wise borrower keep account of each and every penny of the loan taken and payment made thereof. This is thus hollow reasoning in favour of EMI loan for a borrower and runs counter to the well-established time tested principle that take care of pennies, pounds will take care of themselves.

 

The benefit to lenders is that they can count on a steady, predictable income stream from the loan interest and many other additional charges levied on borrowers.

 

Steady and predictable income stream prompted to the Banks to introduce the customers to longer periods of repayments ranging up to 30 years practically the whole productive life of an individual. In addition to interest the Banks also started charging the processing fee for loans and also the penalty at the rate of 2-3% of principal amount for advance payment of installments. Some Banks also introduced charges for recalculations whenever the borrower paid more the installments or lump sum amounts against the principal. The Banks also charge for skipping installments and if one regularly skips the have the right to take over the mortgaged asset. Some private financial institutions employ harsh methods when taking over specially the moveable assets and socially it is a stigma on the family and the borrower, in addition it reduces the creditworthiness of the family. In case of immovable assets taking over of assets is long drawn process, particularly when the builder takes time to transfer the title, always a losing game for borrower causing all round stress and financial loss. Thus the borrower has to behave in a straight line as a most humble servant of the lender.  Thus loans became a more profitable for the banks.

 

System of Equated Monthly Installments (EMIs) guarantees the lender to start with 90-95% of EMIs as interest and the borrowers gets only 10-5% of EMI as adjustment of Principal and this unequal position continues up 70-75% of the installments although principal adjustment increases slowly with each installment, thus only last 30-25% installments are for more principal and lesser interest for the Bank. Thus the borrower is always in disadvantageous position a great de-motivator for early adjustment of amount borrowed.

 

People usually take home loans on EMI. For a loan amount of Rs.30 Lakh @10% per annum for a period of 25 years with EMI of Rs27,261 one would end at a total payment of Principal and Interest of Rs.81,78,306 i.e.Rs.30,00,000 (Principal) + Rs.51,78,306 (Interest). Rs.51 lakhs is not a small amount when responsibilities of the individual increase and you are required to discharge those responsibilities, one is still paying installments of loans.

 

Most of EMI loans are taken by the middle class and lower middle class to satisfy their hunger, of being to look like the higher class, when they are actual middle class and EMI still brings them lower, as such they are the greatest sufferers of EMI system. Higher education of children and their marriages start solidifying between one’s 48 to 55 years of age then he feels the pinch because by now his career has reached its extreme- nothing more to gain but to continue with whatever it is.

 

17 Years in SCHOOL,

5 Years in COLLEGE,

30 Years of 9 to 5 JOB,

Which you do not like at all,

But Bank EMI of your,

2BHK Flat and Maruti Swift Car,

Compels you every morning,

To dress up and leave the home,

To work on someone else’s dream,

By Killing your.

 

Is this the life you deserve?

 

Dharmendra Katiyar

 

Banks calculate EMIs right based on the amount of Principal, Rate of Interest and the Tenure of the loan.  But the individuals calculate EMIs wrong, failing to understand that he is an individual and Bank is an institution nothing personal to anybody but working on the principle of maximizing its profits. Individual borrowers must calculate their EMIs keeping in view their capacity to repay loan based on:

 

1. Present permanent income.

2. Continuity of sources of income.

3. Future responsibilities likely to arise during the tenure of EMIs like    

    children education, their marriage, parents liabilities, self-issues like

    transfer after completion of tenure, medical issues, property expense   

    like stamp duty for registration, maintenance charge, property tax etc.

4. Capacity to repay: Carry home Income-expenditure-forced saving-  

    income tax.

5. Future additions in the income.

6. Emergencies if any.

 

Individuals must avoid bigger loans and lower EMIs, a trap that makes an individual a slave of the lender for thirty years. Lower rate of interest and longer tenure are the traps that Banks and Financial Institutions lay for their steady interest income. Govt is not far behind, they encourage reality sector EMI loans by giving concessions in Income-Tax to those who buy the houses on loan. Since the middle-class has already been squeezed of its savings, the housing sector is feeling glut of build houses no body ready to buy them and now developers provide allurements like no EMI for first six months, two air conditioners free, a modular kitchen free, etc. Do not get trapped in these allurements all of them are at the cost of the borrower in one way or the other. 

 

EMI for studies

EMI for business

EMI for new house

EMI for daughters’ marriage

This how the middle class spends his life

In paying EMIs to see the happiness of their loved ones.

 

Tejaswini Chowdary

 

EMI is a noose select it carefully, lest it throttle you, your dreams, and enjoyment. 

Stress of Negotiations

 

                           Stress of Negotiations

 

Let us never negotiate out of fear,

                        but let us never fear to negotiate.        

John F. Kennedy  

 

Negotiations - the discussions, deliberations, debates, presentations, differences sorted out, that lead to understanding and settlement, agreement reached - is a method by which people settle their differences. They are referred to as talks in the diplomatic parlance. It is the process that causes lot of stress, anxiety, confusion, worry, fear and sometimes the mood swings too, to those who have to participate in negotiations the next day, because the outcome depends on the skill, experience, knowledge, reasoning, logic, tricks of the trade and application thereof by the other party to the issue and the spontaneous response one gives to guard ones on interest without harming the continuation of the negotiations. One can also say that negotiations represents the degree of compromise each party can make to settle the issues. Accommodation and collaboration are also negotiations, where sense of co-operation is more on the part of the participants.

 

Life itself is more or less is a process of compromises, some short term others lifelong. We seldom get in full what we desire, because what we deserve is always measured with bias in one’s favour and what we get is always either a compromise by someone else or it needs approval of someone else. The biggest event of human life getting one’s life partner whether by marriage or otherwise, may be as a result of love or arranged is the biggest example of compromise in life. Honour religiously the compromise made, agreement reached it would become source of peace like in marriage a wonderful wife, smiling children and love all-round, if you are not happy with the compromise made by spouses the situation may lead to divorce even otherwise it is a nagging worry. Choice lies with you.

 

Compromise is based on the concept that no human being, situation, circumstances, environment is perfect to the last point. It is common saying that one can’t please everybody. Remember that negotiating means compromise - need to look out for yourself, but also be willing to budge in order to satisfy the other parties. Negotiating is to build professional relationships rather than burning bridges on your way out of the conference room. Compromise is universal and a part and parcel of human existence on this planet.

 

Victories, defeats, strikes, lockouts, surrenders, withdrawals, end of wars, takeovers, amalgamations, settlements, mergers, compromises, are all ultimately the result of table talks, the negotiations the compromises between the parties involved. Negotiated settlements say agreements are result of multiple sittings, however sometimes single sitting do yields wonderful results. However, when vital interests are involved and nobody is ready to budge, even to carry on talking for long time is a big achievement

 

Negotiations are between the warring groups sometimes when one has been brought to his knees like military surrenders and sometimes to settle the issue amicably. Negotiations, are also termed as consultations in business organizations and other employing sufficient number of employees like Govt where it is a regular process to address the issues as they arise so that the organizations work smooth for all round development of the institution. In India, Govt has a set up and calls it Joint Consultative Machinery where Govt and employees representative meet regularly.

 

No negotiations can yield positive results unless both the parties go to the negotiation table with open mind, deep study of the issues involved, authentic facts and figures known to both the parties and their factual and financial consequences accepted gracefully. In fact, before the discussions start both parties should have identical set of documents even if it involves exchange of some documents, fundamental is authenticity of documents should be logically proved. Respect for the rights, privileges and genuineness of the claims of the other party appreciated thoughtfully is another essential to make the negotiations fruitful.

 

Venue of negotiations has its own importance: it should be conducive to long hours of sitting: people should otherwise love to stay in such surroundings. Conducive surroundings keeps one in positive and contributing mood and on the side of solutions.

Similarly the refreshment served during the proceedings should be attractive to both eyes and taste: I recollect of a purview meeting was to be held with print and electronic media when my boss told me that the participants at no point should be left alone and idle  and also that the refreshment served should pleasing to the eyes, taste and sufficient, his intention was to keep the people engaged for sufficient time to build their interest in the event and its importance and to explain them why the publicity is essential. Next day we were too happy to find our story covered by every newspaper.

 

“Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.”

                                                                               – Dean Acheson

 

Only those persons who are competent, on behalf of their organization, to take decision, agree or disagree,  on the spot should be part of the negotiations otherwise they are always inconclusive and irritating. Concepts of ratification should be kept away from the decisions taken at the negotiating table as that keep everything said and done at tender hooks.

Negotiations are an impersonal process carried out by the individuals on behalf of their organizations as such nothing said and done should be taken as personal otherwise they are likely to breakdown without any serious cause. We should be respectful, polite, polished and well behaved with all those present on the negotiation table irrespective of the individual status or position in the respective organization. Table is a meeting point and all are equal. Negotiating place should look like a family gathering instead of warring groups meeting each other to gain maximum. Some organizations employ outsiders as negotiators on their behalf but this has seldom given encouraging results that is why now most of institutions has barred the entry of outsiders in the negotiation process. Negotiators should always be insiders who have stakes in the success of the institution and the agenda.  

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.”

                                                                                   – Brian Koslow

Conduct of negotiations is a very special skill to learn. It is skill which has to be developed and not inherited. In fact, it is cumulative experience, learning, knowledge, skills and wisdom of decades together brought on the negotiating table. It requires a special temperament, those who are hot headed or lose their temper quickly are not fit for this type of responsibilities. Negotiators have nerves of steel and they do not bow down under pressure. They are positive and active people always in mood to carry on and not to break. They assess the other party from the few words spoken, their body language and the emotions on the face, at the same time go only by facts and not by emotions. They go to the table well prepared not only about the details, depths and consequences of their own case but usually knowing more than the other party knows about their own case and its implications. They are always fresh and updated about the agenda for the negotiations. They are good listener a skill which very few learn in their life. Silence at appropriate time can force the other party to reconsider its stand. They are effective communicators and know how to make their voice heard when needed. They do not hesitate to use their trump cards that is normally known to them and to very few others only, at appropriate time when it happens to be useful. They are masters of the show. They are imaginative and to act purposefully on the spur of moment is their quality. However nobody can predict the outcome of the negotiations.

 

There will be dark and tangled stretches in decision making process – mysterious even to those who may be most intimately involved.                                    

                                                                                   John F. Kennedy

There is no set pattern as to how the negotiation should move. However there is no reason as to why or why not parties should move as per the agenda. The best course as to build the confidence of both sides is to short list those items which are of least importance and of quick agreement that help to exchange pleasantries and move further with hope and satisfaction.

However war treaties are as dictated by the Victor only; the mercy or foolishness of the victor may give something to the loser: but in a commercial or Union Management agreement both parties must share the fruit of negotiations and it should be win-win situation where both sides feel they have gained something positive through the process of negotiation and both sides feel their point of view has been taken into consideration.

 

“You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.”

                                                                                       – J. Paul Getty

Real negotiations are always between the opposite parties like management and Unions, a seller and a purchaser or any other parties where gain of one is loss of the other. In such situations both have the limitations, that is how far one can go or how far one can reduce his own margin and if stretched beyond that point the negotiations break. This gap between the interests of the warring groups is the real playing field for the negotiators. For example a workers Union may demand to have 20% increase in their wages whereas the management is ready to give 10% however if stretched a little they can go up 13%. This difference between 10% and 20% is the real playing field, it is upto the Unions to negotiate and claim as much as they can convince but not beyond 13% where the negotiations would perhaps break: so avoid the breaking of negotiations and claim the maximum that is the skill of the negotiators. This is the Zone of Potential Agreement (ZOPA).

Negotiations end with signing of an Agreement in the language understood by both the parties: that should be clear concise, easily to interpret and progress measure able on time to time basis with an implementation schedule and a procedure to eliminate confusion and misunderstandings, if any.

 

“If you come to a negotiation table saying you have the final truth, that you know nothing but the truth and that is final, you will get nothing.”

                                                                                   – Harri Holkeri

 

Is it always essential to have a negotiated settlement: the positive answer is absolutely not. Both parties must understand each other and take care of others problems and weaknesses - the weak points and help to maximum use his strengths. Such behavior is always satisfying and builds relationships. Such an approach provides one greater independence from the other side and gives time to evaluate other sides proposals and position vis-à-vis your own position and proposal and certainly is more peaceful and stress free. This type of understand can save many marriages in personal life and many strikes and lockouts in business organizations. In fact the best employer is one who can take care his employees without having a formal meeting with the Union. In fact, Union or No Union employer takes care of all genuine demands and requirements of the employees.  Such a behaviour can be termed as an Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement rather Best Alternative to a Negotiated agreement.

 

Agreements, pacts, treaties, settlements, memorandums of understanding call by whatever name, the occasion demands, they are the instruments of peace, tranquility and development for the parties concerned and the organizations.