Tuesday, 21 September 2021

Stress No, Joy Full On Seeing A Click of Parents Pitrapaksh

Stress No, Joy Full

On Seeing A Click of Parents

Pitrapaksh

 

“Love your parents and treat them with loving care. For you will only know their value when you see their empty chair.”

 

Yesterday, I had been to my brother’s place, after four-five years and could not locate his house in his colony at the first instance, it was only after a tinkle to him we reached the location. My younger brother, my replica at first sight for many, even within those few hours of my stay two three persons were unable to find out who is who and some clearly told “yes” by appearance we are brothers.

 

I was accompanied by my son and daughter-in-law, while they were busy with their Chacha and Chachi to take their guidance and help for the endeavours to establish their brand of jute handicrafts and repair of some left overs of the previous years, these were more a technical discussions, so I was more a listener than anything else, I had nothing to do, just looking at walls and trying to find out what had changed after my previous visit some four-five years back. My usual time pass - their grandchildren were not there as they had gone outstation to their mother’s parents for a short visit. It took some time before the tea with Namkeens was offered to us. As soon tea came, I started sipping, was perhaps first to finish as I like extremes may it be hot tea or a cold coffee: hot should be really hot and cold should make you shiver. While I was munching salty snacks with lot of asafoetida, I came across a photograph of my father perhaps a bigger version of some passport size – the most formal pose, photo prepared for his pension papers, it gave me no joy.

 

Then I saw on the wall just on my left side at about seven feet height a black and white, glass framed picture of my father and mother, a click which I had not seen earlier although I have one of their photographs with me also. It gave me lot of joy that it had not been garlanded in a usual manner which normally indicates the departed souls, this without garland gave us a feeling that they are still with us to guide and direct the right way. So many people were sitting around; many were strangers, but I kept gazing at the frame; I had not seen such a beautiful face of my mother earlier with  a shawl wrapped up to her neck that enhanced the contours of her face made them prominent, her hair style real Punjabi oldie without any colour,  in fact she never used any colour, so was her adherence not to use any cosmetics: in life of about sixty six years when we lived together I never saw her using any cosmetic except Mehndi and bangles on occasions like “Karva Chauth” and marriage anniversaries and birthdays were not known in those days truth is many did not know the exact date of their birth. Her Mehndi used to be simple, she would place a mount of Mehndi on her palm and close the fist in the next morning that would give beautiful dark red pattern. In this click she was wearing her ear-wear, golden “Balian”- a circular piped ring with a diameter of more than an inch that was her usual ear wear and her golden nose pin. She did wear necklace but that is not visible in this click, I still remember she had one necklace and a pendant on which Lord Krishna’s image was inscribed.  Her face had so much of grace and glow, and it was bubbling out in this click. I must thank the man who produced such an excellent photograph of my mother. It was a feast to see her.

 

Tried my best to gaze constantly the face of my father: his full beard and moustaches, broad face sharp features, wearing a turban same Patiala style sober and sharp, he used to wear light yellow colour turban. The click shows him in a shirt and coat; his usual wear in winters. He never wore trousers, he was a Pyjama man with leather shoes. He normally wore white clothes shirt and Pyjama in Indian style. In this click he was without coloured beard which he left  many years back although he coloured his beard for many years. His face had the grace of truth and contentment. A person of modest means yet he was always happy and within those he performed marriages of five of us in his life time and two of us were married after he had left for his heavenly abode. He was a personality well known in the markets of city of Bathinda although at humble position, this was perhaps because of his habit of greeting everybody.

 

In this click both of them are with real photographer’s smile, calm, quiet and peaceful. My father was a content person and all his sons and daughter have been gifted by him this trait, all of us although passed through the different stages of the career and time but has always remained content with whatever came to our lot and always tried to advance in life but have never been unhappy with what Lord showered on us.

 

When I asked my brother for a copy of the click, he simply said that he got this done from a photographer after merging two different clicks. Then we wanted to take a photo from that frame but could not because of glass reflection. Then we removed the glass also but even then it could not be taken because the photo paper was glossy.

Ultimately, I said perhaps they are not willing to go with us at present, we will request them some other day. However, whatever it was we took a snap and stored in our cell.

 

“No matter how far we come, our parents are always in us.”                   

                                                                           – Brad Meltzer

 

“One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad.”

                                                                              – Jim DeMint

 

Friday, 17 September 2021

Stress Nil Joy Full of Having Lord Ganesh At Our Home

 

Stress Nil Joy Full of Having Lord Ganesh At Our Home

 

Ganesh Chaturthi, a festival celebrating the birth of Lord Ganesha as the Elephant Headed God as He is widely worshipped throughout India: the Swastika of rituals of all religious functions and worships. Our family like millions brought a raw grey clay idol of Lord Ganesh to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi at home, every day, till immersion. Every homes decides immersion - Visarjan – as popularly called, as per their own choice but final takes place eleven days after installation.

 

Before the Lord, duly wrapped in a red cloth and pious red yellow thread “Khamani”, stepped out of His cab, we were ready to receive Him in the traditional Punjabi style saying, “Jee Aaiyna Noo”, and with sprinkle of mustard oil on both sides of the first entry to our home - the main gate – a sign of honour among people in my state of Punjab. He was seated in our drawing room specially prepared for the occasion for Him. Since He came late at night, he slept as wrapped the whole night.

 

Next was the day of installation, it was to be done by all family members: seniors were on fast till He was installed. We prepared a special pedestal for Him about three feet plus high – Higher than anybody sitting on the floor or the sofa: and decorated it with the sacred “Chunnies” – ladies long scarfs, the family members had received on various religious occasions from the temples and Jagrats – whole night chanting of the name of the Goddess - all in red, pink, yellow and violet colours. Lord was seated on the pedestal, first “Khamani” was removed and then red cloth was removed: as soon as He appeared everybody greeted Him with folded hands and chanting the words. “Jai Ganesh”. He had beautiful attire in bluish green colour.  He was given a symbolic bath by sprinkling water, given clothes to wear by offering one “Jenoo” – the scared thread around his neck: given a make-up “Shingar” by a red forehead mark with “sindhoor” and fixing some rice grains thereon. A small bundle of fresh green grass was also placed on Him as He is harbinger of good, peace, growth, prosperity and development. He is also “Pratham Pujya”- to be worshipped first of all.  Pious Flame “Jayoti” and Dhoop was also lighted and a Satsvika with sindoor prepared in a pan, a betal leaf and an areca nut was also placed in the pan as religious offering. He was garlanded with marigold flowers necklace and rose petals were showered on Him. All present, were given Tilak-forehand mark with Sindoor and a pious thread was also tied to the wrist of all. Then all of us sung an Aarti and everybody had a wish to repeat silently to Him. Modaks-Laddoos made of milk solids and also of gram flour were offered to Him along with dry fruits and seasonal fruits. Full meal with the request to honour us by taking food was also placed before Him and He was prayed with folded hands to enjoy it. A portion of the meal offered to Him was mixed with meals prepared at home. We had fixed a person to take the full meal on behalf of the Lord. We also took our meals in His presence.

 

In the evening He was offered tea like any other person in our family as he had become part of it so was the process for dinner. Every time He is offered something a temple bell was rung as a signal that food or tea etc has been placed for Him. At 10.30 PM we sought His permission to sleep and one of us slept on the sofa or the carpet in front of His pedestal. Some water, fruits, Modaks - Laddoos of special shape, sweets and dry fruits were also placed before Him lest He feels hunger at night.

 

It was our endeavor not to leave Him alone at any time: this effort proved a blessing, after installation He had become a living Lord ready to listen prayers made. It  was for the person concerned how effectively he communicates with Him; senior were so happy to talk to Him, others offered Him tea, chocolate whatever they were eating, some were seeking his advice on any matter they liked as openly as we talk to each other. Our house had the fragrance of a temple, restraints of a religious place and so was the routine. It was quite pleasing and satisfying too. A living Deity at Home what a wonderful idea: possible in India only.

 

Presence of the Lord had a wonderful effect on the food being prepared in the home: no garlic, no onions, no non-veg: all satavic food full of Hing- Asafoetida, Zeera- Cumin seeds, tomatoes and pure desi ghee: much tastier than the usual one and that too without any stomach issues. This reduced toxin in the body.

 

Another wonder aspect of his presence was that my mother-in-law about ninety always complaining of some discomfort because of so many ailments she is suffering  from and also the biggest ailment of life the old age, remained healthy and happy without any complaints. She could walk from bed room to drawing room where Lord was sitting with His pump and show and recited Aarti every time it was sung. All members of the family remained so cool and healthy during his presence. In addition, everybody remained in positive mood without any bickering. Time was passing quick and fast, my self being the senior most called the Lord by His name Ganesha, every time something was to be done, so during His presence all things went the right and responsible way. He was invited for everything even for taking water and munching some savory snacks and also for lifting heavy luggage etc., simply because he was part and parcel of our family.

 

Anybody coming to our home was seeking His blessings first and Prasad also. There was a short duration Kirtan-chanting of songs in praise of the Lord next day of His installation that made many emotional. After Aarti, Prasad was offered to the Lord and thereafter distributed to all who were present, some quick snacks were also served because of Corona.

 

We had planned His stay at our home for four days and three night but it appeared He was too busy so, He forced us to reduce his stay to three days and two nights. So we had to prepone His Visarjan. It was to be done at home as already planned.

 

We started the rituals as we thought fit nothing exactly known to us from the scripture or from the priests and as if a person from the family is going for an outstation to come back after sometime. Lord was given a bath, a forehead mark and full meal: a prayer was recited in His honors; then taken from His throne; placed on the head of our grand-daughter and circulated in every nook and corner of the house so that He blesses everything and removes all the negativity. Before immersion water in big tub was purified with Ganga-Jal, Rose Petals and curd was rubbed on Lords body and then with all humility He was gently placed in the water filled tub, we remained sitting near Him till He was fully submerged in water and  we were chanting “Ganpati Bappa Maurya, Aagle Varse tu Jaldi Aa”. It was an emotional scene, made eyes of everybody moist.

 

Om Gan Ganapatay Namo Namah!

Shri Siddhivinayak Namo Namah!

Asta Vinayak Namo Namah!

Ganapati Bappa Moraiya!

Thursday, 9 September 2021

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken (Lesson V) (Integrity and Career)

 

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken

(Lesson V)

(Integrity and Career)


Integrity is doing the right thing,

even when no one is watching.

 C. S. Lewis

 

It was almost lunch time, meal boxes had already been placed in the hot case, on an autumn afternoon a few decades back, when my help in office entered my room hurriedly to tell that one of our officers was being brought from the road side tea shop to the room of the head of office, both his shoulders held by two unknown persons and tightly escorted by four-five other persons not belonging to our office, as if something serious had happened. Subsequently, it transpired that an officer had been caught red handed while taking bribe money, by an anti-corruption agency, on a trap laid down by the agency on the information supplied by the person from whom money was demanded by the officer concerned for doing some official work which otherwise was the duty of the officer caught to be performed in the normal course. Result was while in the room of the head of office, he was arrested then and there, made to sit on the floor like a criminal  and forced him to take out his clothes which were got sealed for producing them as evidence in the Court and he was standing in a vest and underwear in a most embarrassing manner. The Officer arranged some clothes for him. Next day he was produced in the Court  : when he was told by the Court that this is a bail able offence and he can make arrangement for person who would stand surety for him and execute bond papers etc. he simply told the Court that  no local person would stand surety for him and he will have to wait for arrival of his father-in-law who was also a Govt. employee but at an out station and in the days to come the surety came and he got the bail but it took a week before he was out of the jail. He fought this case in the Court of law for almost two decades and was ultimately awarded the punishment of imprisonment for five years. In departmental disciplinary proceedings on the same set of circumstances he was dismissed from service.

 

Just see, this is what the integrity, if not maintained, can do. The officer lost his honour, integrity, respect, regards, awards, job, became a person of doubtful integrity, labeled as corrupt officer, earned a court case, a departmental case, expenditure to fight these cases and his monthly income got stopped, tension, stress, irritation, quarrels at home, his wife was unable to explain to his kids what their father had done, even friends deserted him and he became a suspicious man in his known circles, financially in ruins, in few minutes and for few chips to which he was not legally entitled . When he was caught red handed he was shabbily treated by the officers of the anti-corruption agency in their attempt to collect on the spot evidence and to demoralize him. In the heart of his heart, he must have experienced himself as a guilty conscience.  

 

Know how to maintain integrity: To understand as how to maintain integrity one must know clearly what integrity is. Dictionary defines integrity as adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character and honesty. Dictionary defines conscience as a person's moral sense of right and wrong. There is a very strong relationship between integrity and conscience which has to be understood to become a person of “integrity” not of “Doubtful Integrity”. In fact, both integrity and conscience are the two sides of the same coin of the adorable character. When we say “He is a man of integrity” or “He is a man of conscience”, it is more than enough to describe the person and his character. Among many other ways to define distinction between ‘doubtful’ and ‘beyond doubt’ integrity one test is simple; anything done and said which pricks the conscience of any person including yourself, is against the norms of integrity. Choose the word you like, “integrity” or “conscience”, you would like to be described as and have trouble free career.

 

Integrity is generally limited to financial transactions, benefits, advantages particularly to those one is not entitled to: but it is very narrow view, however with reference to employment it is the only view that can be reasonably taken.  In fact, it is a system of accepted beliefs that control behaviour, in a system based on morals, for example ethical behaviors in the workplace includes; obeying company's rules, instructions and codes, effective communication, effective listening, taking responsibility positively, accountability, trust, mutual respect for colleagues etc. Discipline, decorum and decency are all part of integrity and should be enforced by the management for the development of integrity “Beyond Doubt” culture in the organization and for the welfare of the employees.

 

There is a saying, “reputation travels faster than the man”, this is equally true in case of integrity which assessed by others on the basis of your talk, behavior, corridor whispers, complaints particularly oral ones, your style of handling official matters relating to finance and grants, notes  recorded on files, your dealings with outsiders, your attitude etc. Employers keep a special watch on employees in these matters, so is the Govt. in a more powerful manner. Still there is so much corruption around reason is simple “Yatha Raja Tatha Praja”.  

 

When we employ a person to do some odd jobs at home, we expect him to be honest absolutely, simply because it is a home and remains open always. He is also supposed to be fully devoted to his job as it is not possible to keep a strict watch always on him and that we want a satisfactory job to be done. Similarly when another person employs us his expectations are similar to what we expected from our employee may it be home, office, factory or some other work place. In addition, employers want that their reputation – goodwill - brand should never be spoiled by the actions of the employees so they expect that an employee should do nothing which is unbecoming of an employee of that organization. All conduct rules or instructions prescribe that every employee shall maintain absolute integrity, devotion to duty and shall do nothing which is unbecoming of an employee of that organization. Thus we should follow the same set of standards whether it applies to ourselves or others whether at home or office.

 

Another factor that determines the level of one’s integrity is the satisfaction. How much one is satisfied with his lot, his achievement, his life, his luck, what he wants to achieve in life - peace, development, welfare of his family. More a man is satisfied with his circumstances higher is the level of his integrity lesser is greed and attraction towards allurements.

 

In fact, integrity has no levels, it is either “Beyond Doubt” or “Doubtful”. In rules integrity required is as, “Absolute Integrity” which means whatever be the quantum of allurement and his circumstances the person concerned will never be allured to accept the bribe by whatever name called. The employers expect an employee to be, “More loyal than the king”.

 

Spirituality, divinity and belief in the Almighty are the concepts that bring us near to the nature and the truth. They brings humility in life and destroys ego. More a man has belief in spirituality less likely is he becoming corrupt and more near to his conscience and hence the chances are that he would be more on the side of “integrity” that is “Beyond Doubt” integrity.

 

Conscience, the soul, the inner self has always been considered and in fact it is the part and parcel of bigger self the Almighty, is always pure, correct, pious and guides right. If we follow conscience our acts will always be “Beyond Doubt”, they would become “Doubtful” as soon as we act against the conscience.

 

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

                                                                  Frederick Douglass

 

Sometimes people are initiated into corruption-that is shown wrong path by those who are already in and are men of “doubtful” integrity: once in never out, like many other immoral but lucrative trades and professions. When one comes to know of such a situation; there is no compromise one has to fight it out with the strength of his character otherwise he would become part of the unbecoming lot. So beware: keep your conscience clear and integrity sterling.

 

Some people by nature have special terrible interest in some activities not indulged by normal human beings. Love of money is such one activity. They exploit every occasion right or wrong to mint but they do not know what they are doing and when caught it is all the mess for life and family. Once you are slave to such an interest you are always a slave of that habit.

 

Strong determination is a finest human trait, for betterment of life, a panacea for all achievements and a guard against failures, does not fail here also; so the determine to remain above board, that earns for an individual the title of “Man of integrity.”

 

The satisfaction that one derives from doing his duty is a great contributor to a person’s self-esteem and inner glow that keeps an individual away from many evils in employment. Job satisfaction, in fact is satisfaction of the inner self for having done something for earning one’s salt. More one has tasted job satisfaction lesser he is likely to be corrupt or a man of lose integrity.

 

“Whatever action is performed by great man, common men follow in his footsteps and whatever standards he sets by his exemplary acts, all the world pursues.” This is what Bhagwat Gita says about the qualities of a leader. If a leader follows these words of the Master of the Masters, Lord Krishna, there is no question of doubtful integrity. A sterling leader who enjoys leading people on the right path by his actions   and lives much after his death in the minds and actions of the people: whereas a corrupt person cannot even lead.

 

It is true that integrity alone won’t make you a leader,

but without integrity you will never be one.

Zig Ziglar

 

Honesty is the best policy. That is what has been taught by parents and teachers. Fact remains that if one has to live or deal with family, friends and society, he has to be honest otherwise sooner or later all of them would leave you one by one. Still there is one person with whom one can afford to be dishonest as long as one wants and as many times as he wants. All wrong acts are done by men when they become dishonest with themselves. Be honest with yourself that is the best policy that is what conscience is and that is what integrity is. 

 

Integrity is telling myself the truth.

 And honesty is telling the truth to other people.

Spencer Johnson

 

Integrity calls for courage to say “NO”. It is easier to say “No” to your partner, parents and friends but it is requires real courage to say “No”, to the person who gives you employment, but when to say “NO” that is real issue, one must say “No” when the orders given or the decision taken is not in the best interests of the organization and that too with reasons. It is said best civil servant is one who can say “No” to his boss.  One must show the courage when he is offered for the first time say smoking or alcohol that would save stress for years to come.  

 

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

 W. Clement Stone

 

 

Lord sends every human being with sterling integrity; it is subsequently he loses integrity for one reason or the other; it is jewel of human character; keep it safe and shinning.

 

If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing.

Henry Kravis

 

A normal human being when it comes to earning adopts a particular profession for life irrespective of jumping from one job to another in the initial stages, may it be self-employment or working with somebody else, may be a Govt. a company or even an NGO. Earning anywhere is associated with spending less than the income or the sales. In such a proposition, integrity the quality of doing right even when nobody is watching, is fundamental to a long career. Even when one is self-employed integrity is serving the customer with the best at the minimum cost to him, be true to the terms and conditions, helping the customer to have full satisfaction, if you fail to do all these things you will lose your organization sooner or later. In fact, absolute integrity is synonymous with long and trouble free career.

 

Before speaking, consult your inner-truth barometer,

 and resist the temptation to tell people only

what they want to hear.

 Wayne W. Dyer