Stress Free Relations and Relationships Part I (At Work Place: The Boss)

 

Stress Free

Relations and Relationships

Part I

(At Work Place: The Boss)

 

One fine winter morning when I reached office an hour late, office time being 10.15 AM, one of my assistants told, “Sir, Boss had been to the Section three times: always was just asking for you only”. I rushed to his Chamber; as soon as I entered he asked why I was late that day, I told him: that I had gone to Fair Price Shop to collect quota of kerosene oil. Before I could ask the job required to be done by me; he gave a buzzer to his private secretary: I was a little afraid whether he is going to dictate an explanation or a warning memo. He called his orderly also: asked him to bring two teas. As soon as tea came I gave a cup full to the Boss and other I sipped as usual. Private Secretary came in and the Boss started dictating him an application to the Petroleum Ministry on my behalf requesting for out of turn allotment of LPG connection - a luxury in those days - more than forty two years back. Then he dictated a personal letter to an Officer of that Ministry. When fair copies were ready he personally prepared the envelope and wrote the address himself: directed me to deliver the envelope personally to the officer concerned: who on seeing the envelope immediately recognized the handwriting: many won’t believe that on the next Friday when I reached home I noticed in the street somebody was trying to find out my address to deliver an envelope: that was the special LPG connection slip for me. We got the connection installed within two-three days-a great convenience for my wife and the family: A Blessing. This incident made me emotionally attached with The Boss: The Real One: ALL-WISE-PARENT: forever till he left for his heavenly abode at the age of eighty plus. Rest In Peace Sir. Salute Sir, Remembrance, respect and regards.

 

Boss (Built On Self Success)-the person in-charge-that gives orders sometimes dominatingly, is an universal institution-everybody is under a boss: developed as soon as life was born: initially physical fit was-in animal kingdom it is still there: subsequently mentally developed-educated, skillful, experienced, prudent, knowledgeable, wise, sometimes even undeserving with nuisance value became the boss: true of humans: one has to recognize this wherever the relationship of boss and subordinate exists. Boss is boss. Make you rights to adjust to his wrongs, because boss is always right. This is true even at home-who is the boss. Be happy and stress free. It is one’s attitude towards him that matters most.

 

Boss is not equal to you: he is more, higher, bigger, superior has been made and recognized. He is responsible to assess you, your capability, intelligence, experience, knowledge, skill, utility, your behavior, composure in face of difficult situations and temperament too. He is responsible, accountable without excuses; to perform and deliver 24x7.

 

One of the important aspects of this universal institution is that nobody can select his boss. One has to carry on with one what he gets. But to carry on with smile and ease without irritation and tension that is the object of every subordinate for the best possible results for himself, boss and the organization; this requires clear and intimate understanding of personality of the boss his context and one’s own situation, needs and responsibilities.

 

One must appreciate the goals and pressures of his boss both official, personal and social too, and how he wants to achieve his them: one must know what methods and tools boss adopts to achieve: his likes and dislikes pressures from family, peers and official particularly from his boss and boss’s boss: difficulties he is facing: the way of working of boss - very important-does he works himself or throws the wok on others.

 

Boss of boss is a very relevant person one must know him as intimately as possible to smoothen relations with immediate boss: he affects intimately working of boss and subordinate.

  

What is the preferred style of functioning of boss like obtaining information on phone, written or he thrives on conflicts; keeps with him the secrets and mistakes committed by others and the advantage he drives from such information and how.

 

One must do sincere and critical SWOT analysis of the boss: not an easy task: take some time before you are able to attempt one. Find out what type of person he is-meticulous, submissive, aggressive, tense, suspicious, wise parent like, dominating boss, an excellent worker, one who delegates, one who assumes, helpful, trouble creator or an institutional enemy-always ready to criticise. More you know about your boss easier it would be to come to his expectations the way he likes. One must adjust his own SWOT, needs and preferences with the nature and responsibilities of his boss. One has better control on himself and the sacrifices he can make and remain stress free.

 

The only link that establishes a boss and a subordinate relationship is the “work that one is entrusted to perform”. How one performs that is the glue: purer, sweeter, fresher, digestible it is, stronger is the link. More prompt, dependable, trustworthy, accurate, punctual, regular, obedient the employee is; irritants are non-existent. Lifelong relations-marriage between the boss and subordinate are not uncommon; foregoing is one of the very strong reasons.

 

Work stress is perhaps an inappropriate nomenclature for those who perform the work as:

 

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन ।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भुर्मा ते संगोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥

 

You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.

                                                                - Bhagavad Gita

 

What is one’s principle of work, Lord Krishna said more than 5000 years ago (not certain may be more), “never be attached to not doing your duty.” If that be so where is the question of stress? In the modern age fruits of duty-wages, remuneration  are decided even before one starts working; half of the equation is settled before start and the second half is the performance, delivery and duty: all what one is required to do : stress is missing: remain always stress.

 

Another work principle is lesser work expands and more work contracts according to time: that is why more work is given to those who work more: they are known for working: for peace and tranquility. In which category you are; lesser work has more stress and more work has lesser stress: third factor is job satisfaction: lessor work less job satisfaction: more work more job satisfaction (normally) if you have tasted job satisfaction.

 

Like your work: develop friendship with it: worship it; adore it; make it your hobby: it is your livelihood; your home runs because of your work; your wife, children always wait for your return from work; it is your life line; you achieve your goals and happiness, peace, wealth and health by it: it is not a stress; it is satisfaction: where is the question of stress. A prudent man behaves like that and is always happy and stress free. If you do not do all these things it has to cause not only stress but many other issues in your life.

 

Work can certainly be more or less, manageable within time frame or may require more time, may be time bound, may be routine, important or urgent, every time it requires physical or mental exercise: can cause fatigue mostly physical; you can relax, delegate, postpone; prioritize; these are techniques to deal with excess work but no stress or tension.

 

“Do it”. Just two words and four letters that is essence of life, success, happiness, health, wealth, peace, good relations: makes you winner well respected, lot of regards, famous, rewards, awards, performer and the one who can deliver. What more a man want in his life. So why to lag behind; why to find excuses mostly false for not performing: perform do it and be happy stress free.

 

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."

                                                                      — Dr. Suess

 

Saying is: never waste a good opportunity to learn from a bad boss. In fact, there is no bad boss; it is your attitude, needs, preferences, weakness, strengthens, fears, manners that have to be adjusted as per the needs of the situations changed as a result of the change of the boss and enviornment. Every boss is good, some teaches you more: other the less, some is like a father or brother the others is more formal in behavior. But it is you that matters most.

 

Boss-subordinate relationship is formal; created by demand and supply: advertisement and application; no grace, concessions, rebates, discounts simply work and wages; decorum and discipline: is reciprocal both parties can terminate as per letters of appointment. Both in particular the subordinate must understand this nature of relationship. If he does there is no stress if one does not: it is stress, stress and stress only.

 

Adopt identical standard at home and work place for the simple reason they are the two sides of the same coin; former is dependent on latter. Honesty, integrity, dedication, devotion, duty, unbecoming conduct, behavior, discipline, decorum should be maintained more rigidly at work-place. If one creates a space between the two standards that is most dangerous: that space is immediately occupied by greed, non-performance, arrears, dereliction of duty, unbecoming conduct, bribe, corruption, scams, inquiries, court cases and what not. Hence the stress unsurmountable.   

 

All the life: animal and otherwise on this planet after being born has two functions entrusted by the Nature-live and reproduce. Reproduction is such a beautiful and satisfying function that both the living and non-living life enjoys it to the fullest: humans want to enjoy it always every season, time and place. The corollary is that humans and animals must enjoy the other function also - their living-this is true of eating, leisure, pleasure, playing-then why not working-all are part and parcel of this living. One must enjoy working both physical and mental-only way to live, make it your hobby- like to do again and again of your own choice-then there would be no work and no stress. When we do not see work, as gift of nature and enjoy it we feel stressed.

 

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”                                         Will Rogers

 

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”                

                                                                          Steve Jobs

Stress Fears Charity : Charity Cheers All

 

Stress Fears Charity:

Charity Cheers All

 

आब गया आदर गया, नैनन गया सनेह।

यह तीनों तबही गये, जबहिं कहा कछु देह।।

 

Aab gaya aadar gaya, Nainan gaya saneh

Yah teenon tabhi gaye, Jabhin kaha kuch deh

Kabir

 

Saint Kabir says that honour, respect and love disappears from eyes as soon as one extends his cupped receiving hand before somebody. This happens with many of us every day; it is worse when somebody begs alms.

 

The beauty of real charity is that the receiver should feel honoured, respected and be given with love and without any obligation. That is the spirit. Giving is good; and if the gift is given with a good heart, without expecting anything in return it’s an act of reaching spiritual highness and true humanity. The beneficiary need not extend his hands for alms.

 

Charity is a duty, not an obligation, entrusted by the Lord to all those who have, to execute the Trust, created by Him for those who are specially privileged to be the beneficiaries with the direction to giver- the medium not the owner - that his left hand should not know what the right hand is doing.  

 

Many ignorant people enforce it, as their right, to distribute charity themselves with their own hands with the expectation that it would be fruitful to them in relieving their distress here in this world and in the next birth also-those who believe in it, as well as in His Court on the return journey. Expectation of returns nullifies the aim of charity and it is against the wish of the Lord and also denying that He knows everything-many things which we are not even aware, He is Omnipresent and Omniscient. Expectation of return, give and take, here or thereafter makes Charity a barter whether in this world or thereafter, hence loses its character as charity-remember charity is not a trade, given by left hand and taken by right hand.

 

Charity can be anything it need not be in cash or kind, big or small, even the smallest acts that give peace, happiness and tranquility to a soul are acts of charity provided you do not act as doer let He be the doer.  Some people have exceptional ways to give Charity, Shri Bir Dasondhi Ram-Birji as he was popularly known-of Patiala Punjab; was such an exceptional person; an epitome of real charity; a man different; had a smiling face: the most respected; he gave Charity to the society; by cremating himself sometimes alone; the unclaimed human dead bodies found anywhere in the city-one of the Highest forms of charity: taught younger generations particularly the girls the manners to live by: he guided even the misguided, had a ray of hope for everyone whosoever met him. Yes, he was a different man with His light in Him.  

 

Charity given out of duty, without expectation of return, at the proper time and place, and to a worthy person is considered to be in the mode of goodness.

                                                       Bhagavad Gita

 

Everybody can give, it requires His benevolence both as to the material, money and others things one possesses, as well as a heart full of compassion and love for fellow human beings-later is more important. In addition, one must have the attitude of give and forget, never remember what has been given; as it was given by Him to the beneficiary and you were only a medium. Giver also loses, when his name is inscribed on charity, even Lord gives without His name inscribed, Albert Einstein said “Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous”. He -The Lord gives you the freedom to name and boast as you like what He gave; so give freedom to the beneficiary to name, what you gave, the way he likes. Never be more than Him; behave; otherwise it is better not to give.

 

In day to day life one must have the attitude of “Give, take and give”; whenever one has to pay, pay with a smile, gratitude creating a feeling of happiness and a relationship - this also helps in reducing the stress both for the giver and the taker. In case of Charity one must develop the attitude of “Give, give and give”. Make the beneficiary, if one can, happy bodily, mentally and emotionally.  

 

Charity has to be associated and performed with the hard earned money because the God is, has been and will always be with purity, truth, peace and everything that is for welfare of common people. Money grabbed has never been fruitful even for men who grab -it has hidden ills – the kinds at least humans do not know - how God can accept it such tainted offering.

 

Every beneficiary of charity is replica of God and see only Him in him, respect him like Him-a few has done so, for example Ramji Das who later became famous as Bhagat Puran Singh established at the age of just 19 years, Pingalwara- (Nigharian Da Ghar) A Home for Homeless, Amritsar, Punjab, India in 1924, is a glorious institution which looks after destitutes, based on principle “Eh Janam Tumhare Lekhe” O Lord this life is for you. He saw the Lord in every destitute and so Mother Teresa.

 

“I see Jesus in every human being. I say to myself, this is hungry Jesus, I must feed him. This is sick Jesus. This one has leprosy or gangrene; I must wash him and tend to him. I serve because I love Jesus.”

                                                  ― Mother Teresa

 

As soon as one decides to do charity in cash or kind or else, it immediately becomes a property held in trust for the beneficiaries till they receive it; do not use any portion of it thereafter, for your personal use or otherwise; it is sin to take any benefit out of it - the intended Charity- in any manner, it would be breach of trust the Lord reposed in you, punishable both in this world and thereafter.

 

Charity is a pious activity; perform it with religious fervour, with purity of body, mind and soul above all keep your anger, ego and tongue in control, it is not thrust upon by anyone, it is performed of your own will, choice, capacity and timing, everything is yours, there no question of any agitative mind, action, gesture and show of ego. Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita says:  

 

But charity performed with the expectation of some return, or with the desire of fruitive results or in a grudging mood, is said to be the charity in passion mode.

 

And charity performed at an improper place at improper time to unworthy persons without proper attention and respect is said to be in the mode of ignorance.

                                                       Bhagavad Gita

 

Charity is a prayer and should always be performed in the name of the Lord with full humility and surrender to Him at appropriate time and place

 

There are five prayers and five times of day for prayer; the five have five names. Let the first be truthfulness, the second honest living, and the third charity in the Name of God. Let the fourth be good will to all, and the fifth the praise of the Lord.

                                        Shri Guru Granth Sahib

 

 

One should feel honoured and obliged when the charity beneficiaries arrive because as Confucius said, “He who wished to secure good of others, has already secured his own”. Always remember taking, collecting, amassing are headache it is giving alone that can change your life.

 

At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by "I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”

                                                    ― Mother Teresa

 

Charity involves one in itself, shifts focus from the surroundings, the men around, circumstances, to what one is doing, brings positivity in actions and thoughts, it is absorbing, it brings a change initially for few minutes or hours and with repetitive charity one may feel stress free and His Blessings also. Charity is a godly feeling: always a stress buster: stress fears charity that cheers all.

 

The Lord resides in Charity, He multiplies whatever is given in Charity sometimes urgently as needed for the honour of the Trustee – experienced by men so many times. It is a common that Charity food seldom finishes before arrival of the last beneficiary; so give as graciously as you can give but never waste.

 

The Lord, purity, prayer, truth and charity have white colour, fearless, open and for common good. Charity if devoid of these; is private, for a few and favoured, is not a charity in His Court nor in this world nor in one’s own society. It is not Charity even for one own-self.

 

Charity is not occasional it is perennial act. Some people do charity at the time they are in some trouble – that smacks of the expectation. Make charity part of your life, give a bite if you have half a chapatti even that is equal to lakhs of rupees if given satisfying all cannons of Charity: as it is always in the name of the God and not in the name of the persons.

 

Many religions, beliefs, faiths, scriptures, sages and saints prescribed desvand-1/10 equal to 10% of your income be given for charity. That is ideal. This is for those who are Trustee of The Trust created by Him- The Lord and those who can’t afford are beneficiaries in the worldly terms but in His Court they are above everybody else as they have performed the duty much tougher than the Trustees, entrusted to them by the Lord. Use desvand the way one feels, would reach the real beneficiaries not through somebody else and perform the duty of a Trustee to your satisfaction and for the service of the Lord.

 

The beneficiaries also have duty in the matters relating to charity. They are the most important privileged persons. They have to maintain discipline, decorum, have patience and be organized, as they are in His service not for any human being.

 

In your morning prayer each day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize and opportunity, to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love looking for someone to help.

                                                                M. Russell Ballard

------ooo------

Manage Time Live Life King Size

 

Manage Time Live Life King Size

Make 24 equal to 27

 

“Time stays long enough for those who use it.”

Leonardo Da Vinci

 

If you love life, do not waste time,

for time is what the life is made up of.

 Bruce Lee

 

On the basis of a competitive examination, I was recommended for appointment against a Group ‘B’ gazetted post by the Testing Agency. As soon the Personnel Department sent the select list tussle started for getting retained in the Department; we-myself and one of my friends; were too junior for making any impact but the competitive examination had made us the senior most top two officials. It was God’s grace that the competent authority disposed of the case for being retained in the Department with simple three words “As per Merit”. This gave both of us great relief and a confidence that merit has its own place.

 

When selected for a special pay post; the question of posting started; we were given the branch considered the toughest, sensitive and full of arrears. We could not perform for a week, had no previous experience of the profile, read the previous files, set the papers in order, collected rule books, circulars, copies of instructions and of course guidance from our boss. Submitted one case each next Monday and to our pleasant surprise the files were received back in the same evening duly approved by the competent authority as suggested by each of us. This emboldened us. We made a plan to submit one major case before lunch and one minor case after lunch each, every day, in addition to routine work; after about three months, when boss came to our room and asked for list of the pending cases both of us reported “Nil”; when he insisted we simply said “Sir, really nothing is pending with the Branch every file is either under submission or disposed of and gone to old records.” He was too, happy, and remarked the work which he could not control for the two years has been brought upto date just in three months.

 

Thus moral is, involve from the core of your heart with whatever you are doing; be present physically and more importantly mentally on the job, ensure self-denial for many good things and gossips, be organized, draw a plan of action, execute it ruthlessly, draw the deadlines, review if need be and carefully watch your performance. These are not just words, all this can be achieved, with only one thing that is unshaken determination. It would be productive, result oriented, would take lessor time; full of job satisfaction and a motivator. There are thousand excuses for not doing a job and for doing a job only “doing” is required. This is the essence of time management.

The other name for time management is self-imposed discipline (SID). It means discipline by one’s own choice not forced from outside, self-imposed restriction, task, or situation deliberately created or accepted for yourself; for example always reaching office in time. This type of discipline strengthens one’s will power, requires practice, sacrifice of comfort and is real long lasting; can be applied to any area of your life with advantage of having the positive results. It is the first steps towards success all over. Honour, respect and value your time it will reciprocate with a multiplying factor and His Blessings too. In addition to making life smooth, a person becomes known by his disciplined nature.

 

In fact, time management is attitude towards life. It cannot be developed in a day or so. It is gift of God for some and others can develop it. But those who do not acquire, lose many good things in life. Right job at the right time can do wonders and wrong jobs at inappropriate time can bring disasters. Time is a most valuable resource, but it cannot be preserved so use it as miserly as one can, let every second should give some return. Unless we develop an attitude to use the time purposefully or for leisure we cannot make use of time management, tools and techniques.  

 

People normally try to find out tools for time management. Their search is valid; man himself with the attitude and determination to be successful is the biggest and the only tool available till now. If one falls in that category he can certainly succeed. However some procedure and guidance can always be obtained.

 

Use the time as tool not as a couch.

John. F. Kennedy 

 

First identify the waste time in your daily routine; do not confuse it with rest or leisure time and then the cause, lastly how to marshal it for useful action. The reasons can be lack of focus while doing something, failure to delegate to others, lack of effective communication, failure to look ahead, interruptions-phone calls, gossip, sometimes even the boss; above all treating the assignment a punishment instead of an instrument of satisfaction. Fatigue and poor health also lead to waste time increase.

 

Next important thing that the time devoted to real job tasks must be made efficient. Normally everywhere real jobs are routine, special and creative in addition to regular job duties which are substantive, require proper and pre-homework, require to be done in time to ensure discharge of the responsibilities and duties entrusted. Again the person entrusted with the job is the most important to know the intricacies, procedures, coordination, collections, secrecy, time required, repetitive or a new issue every time nature of the job.

 

“He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.”                                    – Victor Hugo

 

However, certain tips for time management can be given; use computer with latest software, technology and all digital platforms, stay focused, do the best but do not try to be a perfectionist or an innovator every time as there is always scope for improvement, set realistic goals, create a friendship with your work and enjoy what you do, eliminate activities that are not necessary to achieve a goal, reduce rather eliminate all physical visits use phone as much as possible, thus optimize effort. Don’t waste time on the projects still to be tied-up. Fix deadlines and achieve them; marshalling all that you can do to reach.

  

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The Sun’s ray do not burn until brought to a focus.”

                                                      Alexander Graham Bell

 

Stress is a killer of efficiency, productivity, interest and output. Try to be stress free: accept some dust levels in life; do not make better the enemy of best; make a beginning, handle one task at a time, easier one the first, develop intimacy with circumstances, environment, surroundings, colleagues and finally the work- do it with interest, involvement, understanding, sense of achievement. Always remember once you have accepted an assignment it for you and your family, you earn your livelihood and your house runs as you earn. Every work, job, or task is for your own welfare and happiness so do it yourself with resources completely under your own control; resources under the control of somebody else are seldom available at the time of your need. These things would add speed to performance and delivery. Always understand that hard work done is a reward in

itself; it never goes waste; it pays back; pays back amply without fail, the only question is sooner or later, cash or kind, goodness or elimination of sorrows, with your knowledge or without your  knowing, His ways differ according to our needs.

 

Important and Urgent are the two terms which I thought were more or less the same till my first training Superintendent explained in the class. The whole distinction is summed up by    Dr J. Roscoe Miller when he said: "I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent."

 

One must know clearly the difference between important and urgent; necessary to organize and be efficient. For example it is common endeavor to marry one’s daughter to a well settled, good earning and a handsome as if made for each other person and all of us prepare daughter making her that capable. It is an important goal and a task of life. It cannot be achieved in a day or so, it is long term, requires hard work, investment, care, sacrifice of comforts and even necessities, it is projection of one’s personality and character. On the other hand urgent task do not require such a behavior for example, if CEO directs you to reach his chamber immediately, you have no choice you have to attend: tells you to deliver a case to Directors Secretariat; you delivered; the task is over. Nothing important it was just urgent and urgency was the CEO not the contents of the job.    

 

Important activities have an outcome that leads to us achieving our goals, whether these are professional, personal, social and even national, they relate to substantive duties and responsibilities. Urgent activities need immediate attention; sometimes they are emergencies and are normally associated with achieving goals relating to somebody else. They are often the ones, we have to concentrate on and they demand attention because the consequences of not dealing with them are immediate and may have negativity associated with them.

 

"Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent, and not enough time on what is important."

                                                     - Steven Covey

 

Another issue which is of importance in the matter of time-management is cause and effect. Choose those activities first which give the maximum effect: for example if 20% of customers give you 80% of the sales than one must concentrate on such customers, it is a fountain of success and an encouragement to take care of others also.

 

Faith in one’s effort and of success is another important ingredient of time management. More the faith lesser the time and lesser the faith more the time. Faith is sum total of use of strengths, taking care of weaknesses, skill, knowledge, experience, hard work and timely action. Have faith, He would be with you and be a winner.

 

Can anyone make 24 equal to 27? Arithmetically NO. Fact is, if need be, all of us do it in our daily life; get up one hour earlier than the routine and sleep a hour later, mathematically one has 26 hours, another one hour is added by the speed of the work due to uninterrupted environment and concentration.

 

"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week's value out of a year while another man gets a full year's value out of a week."

                                                               -- Charles Richards

 

Time Management has a beautiful chapter that is “Taking Rest”; it is the most productive time physically and mentally too; a cup of beverage adds to alertness of body and sharpens the brain, sometimes it is mine of creativity and innovation. Do take rest when needed; do not make it an excuse to waste time. “Take rest; a field that has rest gives bountiful crop.”  -Ovid

 

"There are two days in the year that we cannot do anything, yesterday and tomorrow"

                                                               ~ Mahatma Gandhi