Stress Free Relations and Relationships Part I (At Work Place: The Boss)

 

Stress Free

Relations and Relationships

Part I

(At Work Place: The Boss)

 

One fine winter morning when I reached office an hour late, office time being 10.15 AM, one of my assistants told, “Sir, Boss had been to the Section three times: always was just asking for you only”. I rushed to his Chamber; as soon as I entered he asked why I was late that day, I told him: that I had gone to Fair Price Shop to collect quota of kerosene oil. Before I could ask the job required to be done by me; he gave a buzzer to his private secretary: I was a little afraid whether he is going to dictate an explanation or a warning memo. He called his orderly also: asked him to bring two teas. As soon as tea came I gave a cup full to the Boss and other I sipped as usual. Private Secretary came in and the Boss started dictating him an application to the Petroleum Ministry on my behalf requesting for out of turn allotment of LPG connection - a luxury in those days - more than forty two years back. Then he dictated a personal letter to an Officer of that Ministry. When fair copies were ready he personally prepared the envelope and wrote the address himself: directed me to deliver the envelope personally to the officer concerned: who on seeing the envelope immediately recognized the handwriting: many won’t believe that on the next Friday when I reached home I noticed in the street somebody was trying to find out my address to deliver an envelope: that was the special LPG connection slip for me. We got the connection installed within two-three days-a great convenience for my wife and the family: A Blessing. This incident made me emotionally attached with The Boss: The Real One: ALL-WISE-PARENT: forever till he left for his heavenly abode at the age of eighty plus. Rest In Peace Sir. Salute Sir, Remembrance, respect and regards.

 

Boss (Built On Self Success)-the person in-charge-that gives orders sometimes dominatingly, is an universal institution-everybody is under a boss: developed as soon as life was born: initially physical fit was-in animal kingdom it is still there: subsequently mentally developed-educated, skillful, experienced, prudent, knowledgeable, wise, sometimes even undeserving with nuisance value became the boss: true of humans: one has to recognize this wherever the relationship of boss and subordinate exists. Boss is boss. Make you rights to adjust to his wrongs, because boss is always right. This is true even at home-who is the boss. Be happy and stress free. It is one’s attitude towards him that matters most.

 

Boss is not equal to you: he is more, higher, bigger, superior has been made and recognized. He is responsible to assess you, your capability, intelligence, experience, knowledge, skill, utility, your behavior, composure in face of difficult situations and temperament too. He is responsible, accountable without excuses; to perform and deliver 24x7.

 

One of the important aspects of this universal institution is that nobody can select his boss. One has to carry on with one what he gets. But to carry on with smile and ease without irritation and tension that is the object of every subordinate for the best possible results for himself, boss and the organization; this requires clear and intimate understanding of personality of the boss his context and one’s own situation, needs and responsibilities.

 

One must appreciate the goals and pressures of his boss both official, personal and social too, and how he wants to achieve his them: one must know what methods and tools boss adopts to achieve: his likes and dislikes pressures from family, peers and official particularly from his boss and boss’s boss: difficulties he is facing: the way of working of boss - very important-does he works himself or throws the wok on others.

 

Boss of boss is a very relevant person one must know him as intimately as possible to smoothen relations with immediate boss: he affects intimately working of boss and subordinate.

  

What is the preferred style of functioning of boss like obtaining information on phone, written or he thrives on conflicts; keeps with him the secrets and mistakes committed by others and the advantage he drives from such information and how.

 

One must do sincere and critical SWOT analysis of the boss: not an easy task: take some time before you are able to attempt one. Find out what type of person he is-meticulous, submissive, aggressive, tense, suspicious, wise parent like, dominating boss, an excellent worker, one who delegates, one who assumes, helpful, trouble creator or an institutional enemy-always ready to criticise. More you know about your boss easier it would be to come to his expectations the way he likes. One must adjust his own SWOT, needs and preferences with the nature and responsibilities of his boss. One has better control on himself and the sacrifices he can make and remain stress free.

 

The only link that establishes a boss and a subordinate relationship is the “work that one is entrusted to perform”. How one performs that is the glue: purer, sweeter, fresher, digestible it is, stronger is the link. More prompt, dependable, trustworthy, accurate, punctual, regular, obedient the employee is; irritants are non-existent. Lifelong relations-marriage between the boss and subordinate are not uncommon; foregoing is one of the very strong reasons.

 

Work stress is perhaps an inappropriate nomenclature for those who perform the work as:

 

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन ।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भुर्मा ते संगोऽस्त्वकर्मणि ॥

 

You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.

                                                                - Bhagavad Gita

 

What is one’s principle of work, Lord Krishna said more than 5000 years ago (not certain may be more), “never be attached to not doing your duty.” If that be so where is the question of stress? In the modern age fruits of duty-wages, remuneration  are decided even before one starts working; half of the equation is settled before start and the second half is the performance, delivery and duty: all what one is required to do : stress is missing: remain always stress.

 

Another work principle is lesser work expands and more work contracts according to time: that is why more work is given to those who work more: they are known for working: for peace and tranquility. In which category you are; lesser work has more stress and more work has lesser stress: third factor is job satisfaction: lessor work less job satisfaction: more work more job satisfaction (normally) if you have tasted job satisfaction.

 

Like your work: develop friendship with it: worship it; adore it; make it your hobby: it is your livelihood; your home runs because of your work; your wife, children always wait for your return from work; it is your life line; you achieve your goals and happiness, peace, wealth and health by it: it is not a stress; it is satisfaction: where is the question of stress. A prudent man behaves like that and is always happy and stress free. If you do not do all these things it has to cause not only stress but many other issues in your life.

 

Work can certainly be more or less, manageable within time frame or may require more time, may be time bound, may be routine, important or urgent, every time it requires physical or mental exercise: can cause fatigue mostly physical; you can relax, delegate, postpone; prioritize; these are techniques to deal with excess work but no stress or tension.

 

“Do it”. Just two words and four letters that is essence of life, success, happiness, health, wealth, peace, good relations: makes you winner well respected, lot of regards, famous, rewards, awards, performer and the one who can deliver. What more a man want in his life. So why to lag behind; why to find excuses mostly false for not performing: perform do it and be happy stress free.

 

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."

                                                                      — Dr. Suess

 

Saying is: never waste a good opportunity to learn from a bad boss. In fact, there is no bad boss; it is your attitude, needs, preferences, weakness, strengthens, fears, manners that have to be adjusted as per the needs of the situations changed as a result of the change of the boss and enviornment. Every boss is good, some teaches you more: other the less, some is like a father or brother the others is more formal in behavior. But it is you that matters most.

 

Boss-subordinate relationship is formal; created by demand and supply: advertisement and application; no grace, concessions, rebates, discounts simply work and wages; decorum and discipline: is reciprocal both parties can terminate as per letters of appointment. Both in particular the subordinate must understand this nature of relationship. If he does there is no stress if one does not: it is stress, stress and stress only.

 

Adopt identical standard at home and work place for the simple reason they are the two sides of the same coin; former is dependent on latter. Honesty, integrity, dedication, devotion, duty, unbecoming conduct, behavior, discipline, decorum should be maintained more rigidly at work-place. If one creates a space between the two standards that is most dangerous: that space is immediately occupied by greed, non-performance, arrears, dereliction of duty, unbecoming conduct, bribe, corruption, scams, inquiries, court cases and what not. Hence the stress unsurmountable.   

 

All the life: animal and otherwise on this planet after being born has two functions entrusted by the Nature-live and reproduce. Reproduction is such a beautiful and satisfying function that both the living and non-living life enjoys it to the fullest: humans want to enjoy it always every season, time and place. The corollary is that humans and animals must enjoy the other function also - their living-this is true of eating, leisure, pleasure, playing-then why not working-all are part and parcel of this living. One must enjoy working both physical and mental-only way to live, make it your hobby- like to do again and again of your own choice-then there would be no work and no stress. When we do not see work, as gift of nature and enjoy it we feel stressed.

 

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”                                         Will Rogers

 

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”                

                                                                          Steve Jobs