Stress-Free Yatra The Journey of Faith

 

Stress-Free Yatra

The Journey of Faith

 

All of us believe in the existence of Almighty, Omnipresent, One Universal Creator God, Beyond Space and Time, Beyond Name and Form, Self-Existent, the Image of Undying, Beyond Birth and Death, True in the Primal Beginning, True Throughout the Ages and would also be True when things as seen by human eyes are finished. We see him with different names and forms, personified, as per our own faith-that does miracles. Faith of everyman accords with his nature. Man is made up of faith as is his faith in the Universal Creator God, so is he. Without faith whatever offering or Prasad or gift is made of the work done, seva-service performed or penance acts  performed as repentance by any human being that are reckoned “not being” both, at present and thereafter at any time even when confronted with Him.

 

None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.                                            – Paulo Coelho

 

Everyman has his own chosen time and place-Tirath or Dham where he likes to go again and again to pay his obeisance, seek blessings of and audience with the loved Lord-the Ishat Dev - Aradhaya. It is common, with the people to go to the Lord as and when they receive his blessing fulfilling their wishes, through good happenings; and also otherwise. When something wrong happens people immediately remember Him and place something like money, some item apart or just a promise to visit His place, just as a token of his remembrance. It is a firm belief that nobody can enter His place without His permission. Obviously permission of the Lord is granted to thousands of His devotees desirous of meeting Him and all reach to have Audience-Darshanas of the Lord. Here people try to reach the Lord’s the Sanctum Sanctorum in their own ways: some seek-help of others, VIP entry even before the Lord what a contradiction, preferred categories like Army personnel, paid entry as available, etcetera. While majority like to wait in the queue for their turn as commoner still there are others who do not want to be special at His Door even otherwise possibleHis . As man is always busy he likes to have Darshana of the Lord as quickly as possible and when it takes time people feel stress, tension and anxiety. However, to reach the Lord as a commoner has its own pleasure, peace and plums.

 

I do not know experience of others. Whenever His blessings are granted with His grace, I try to reach the town concerned, always first try to go to the Lord as quickly as possible on arrival, to report that we have come; so that He takes care of us in his town: try to see Him as closely and as long as possible and try to set His image in my heart as long as am able to retain it all with his blessings.

 

My one of experience is when reached that town and place:  found as always, there were thousands like us who had been granted permission and place full as tightly as possible; no other entry being available: my spouse was feeling suffocated in stream of devotees: for a moment we came out of the rush; sat outside the crowd for a few minutes, shut our eyes ; concentrated on the Lord, in a short while we were seeing only the Lord not the crowds; gathered courage, again after sometime became part of pilgrims, everybody had his way along with us, crowd seemed  to have become friendly and known; everybody inching his way to the Lord; after  sometime we found ourselves in front of the Lord-The Gracious, feeling as if He was waiting for us to shower His blessings; gave our offerings to the priest, sought with folded hands, head down, total surrender as much as I could understand, His blessings for us all, and had heart-full audience with Him, He was listening, was listening even what was not being said the prayer we made to HIM. Leaving aside the rush, the crowd its jostling; it was satisfying, peace giving and a different experience of bliss.

 

God waits for you to communicate with Him. You have instant, direct access to God. God loves mankind so much, and in a very special sense His children, that He has made Himself available to you at all times.

                                                - Wesley L. Duewel  

 

All like to sit near the feet of the Lord; so bow before him if possible like that, sit in the Sanctum Sanctorum that would be bliss one longs for so long: if not possible come out sit quietly anywhere in His premises see his image in your heart and pay your obeisance, talk to Him as long as you want. If even that not possible, sleep on the ground with the image of the Lord in your heart and eyes take it within while sleeping. My mother used to call this process as, “Chowki Bhaharni”, one may call it by the name he likes but it is an experience different every time.

 

Prayer is integral part of a Yatra-Journey of Faith and is focused on the personal form of the Lord, no rituals, no methodology, no specific words, no language, no drums or beats thereof, no gestures: many of us do not know all these things; still we pray to the Lord and prayers are answered what more we need perhaps nothing. However prayer is between the devotee and the Lord, one speaks the OTHER listens, and listens carefully, no language, no noise, no words, no time, no manners, no third person listens, purity of heart, vacuum of mind, total surrender, and firm faith; perhaps the ingredients of a pure prayer.

 

Now comes the turn of Prasad, the blessing, the positivity, one receives from the door of the Lord. It is wonderful, unique experience to get Prasad, in some places priest in the Sanctum Sanctorum gives, in others it is given in a most orderly fashion, and still there is a custom with others to snatch it a jostling, indicative of the fact how much we love it and want it for our good and guidance. At some places it is customary to give “Khajana”- the Treasure a symbol of prosperity to the devotees, at others a head or neckwear: whatever we get from the home of the Lord  even  a few drops of Charanamrit - the holy water is positivity: take it, use it or retain it with highest reverence.

 

Another source of positivity in many religious places in India is Langer, Bhandara, Free kitchen for all: must participate in these practices: may be by taking food, serving and preparing food and also by donating cash or kind for these institutions. This is God’s Kitchen at one place in India the Food served is called Maha-Prasad. At some places one is required to make some contribution before eating food. Don’t grudge that is also His will. While taking food at Langer do not waste even a single grain and a drop of water. It has medicinal effect inside the place of worship and it becomes just a food outside the place: maintain the sanctity of the highest order, cleanliness, orderly behavior, polite and polished manners at Langer, as He is present there, getting us served.

 

The most important thing is, that a Yatra is undertaken to connect with Him, one may argue that you can connect with Him anytime anywhere, yes it is true, but still people prefer to go to religious places for the simple reasons that great things had happened there and the Lord in some form or the other had visited those places, one can imagine the amount of positivity that might have been created then, it still exists as the Lord is Omnipresent. Another thing is, so many devotees visit these places and everybody comes with the desire to meet the Lord certainly a positive thought and flow of devotees is a continuous process so is the existence of positivity and for some time a person is in a different atmosphere away from the daily routine only to meet Him.

 

Meeting with the Lord is the purpose of every devotee: how to proceed: certainly it is just not standing before the personified which most of us do or asking the priest to make a prayer or read a manta or shaloka for us or making an offering; or a priest performing a religious ritual for: certainly it is much more; what is that much more: how to connect with Him. Have seen common people standing in the Sanctum Santorum with eyes full of tears rolling down their cheeks some just standing with folded hands and others in addition talking to him like their father telling miseries and mysteries to Him; not bothered who is nearby and where they are; why they should be, they are talking to the Supreme the Lord: nothing above or below, nothing before or after, everything right now then and there. Human emotions when they come from the pure heart, total surrender and total unquestioned faith are expressed only through eyes shut and silent: with purity of action, speech and thought: they do not follow any procedure nor rituals; they just opened up their heart pure and fresh only for Him to come in no other thought or wish and he comes in.

 

Wisdom of the ages, sages and saints is that the Lord grants audience to everybody desirous and worthy; it is personal and exceptional. So connect Him with the way one likes.

 

God, our Creator, has stored within our minds and personalities, great potential strength and ability. Prayer helps us tap and develop these powers.               

                                                             A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

 

Stress of Admission Nursery to Professional

 

Stress of Admission

Nursery to Professional

 

The best brains of the nation may be found on the last bench of the classroom

                                                                         APJ Abdul Kalam

 

One day my bebe (mother) gave me bath, put me nice clothes, canvas shoes, combed my hair, vaselined my face, gave me a parantha and milk and then told, “beta (son) today we are going to school”. On the way to school she purchased a Kayada for an Adhani (half Anna=1/32 of a Re). Soon we were in a neighborhood private primary school. She told the Masterji (Shri Brij Lal, I still remember his name), “I want my son be admitted in your school”. He was too glad, wrote my name a register, admission was over, became a student in Kachi (LKG) did Pacci (UKG) & first from that school. In the second standard I was to be admitted to Sanatan Dharam High School, my father took me there filled up a form and I was in a regular school. The process went like that right up to admission in B.Com in the Govt Bikram College of Commerce, Patiala in April 1962, I just went to the college filled up a form and the next day deposited fee of just Rs.160/- which also included tuition fee for three months admission process was over, no cut off or merit lists no waiting nor checking the list on the notice Board. Admission used to be that easy just fill up the form, pay the fee and get admitted.  

 

Every child used to be admitted to Sanatam Dharm, Arya, Khalsa community schools, a few also went to Govt schools, private schools were almost non-existent. One book per subject that was the norm up to primary classes. A wooden plank with coating of Multani Mitti (now used as a face pack and beauty parlors charge a few hundred rupees for the service), being written over with black ink and a Kalam (wooden pen) was used for practice both for language as well as tables up to 4^th standard.

 

Principals, known at that time as the Headmasters, were highly respected persons of their area: their cane was too strong and honoured not only by the students but also by their parents. Spare the rode spoil the child that was the norm. All examinations were narrative long answers and viva were open and in the class room itself. Nobody questioned teacher’s assessment. No buses, taxies, cars, rickshaws every child went to the school on foot and alone. Very few had cycles. Matriculation was big examination and a stage in the career.

 

Reservations for SC, ST, OBC, EWS, Management Quota, Govt guidelines, under the table donations, capitation fee, parents’ interview obviously for money, references, like words were not coined till then in the education field. B.A., B.A.(Hon’s) and LLB were socially respected and people used to engrave these qualifications along with their name on plates at the entrance of their home. Worry, anxiety, stress, depression, were not there in education field neither for parents nor the students.

 

Today even after spending trillions on the education parents continue to get stress right from admission in nursery to graduation, post-graduation,  professional, even in Doctorate courses. The greatest reason being, we are too many, in 1962 we were just 46.90 Crores: today we 133 Crores addition of 86.10 Crores.  Student group between 5-19 years constitute 34.3 % (29.53 Crores); between 5-24 years constitute 43%. (37.10 Crores). Literacy rate is about 75%.We require education system for additional about 32 Crore people. Obviously uphill task. No attempt has been made to stop additions to this huge number by controlling population-the solution to every problem: all politicians are afraid of.

 

We cannot change the system overnight it takes decades to change education system so we have to live with whatever is available to us in this country. In this blog we are more concerned with the stress for parents as well as for students.

 

Admission to nursery is a headache for those parents who want admission of their wards in private schools as it is a belief that they are doing better upto 10+2.Children are too young to understand stress hence stress free. Stress to parents - very complex issue: Schools with bombastic nomenclatures without any norms approved by Govt  confuse and to make every parent think; admission in a big name school as if, is end of the career-which is not: it’s an ape race: air conditioned buses, class rooms: foreign educational trips: annual fete; glittering uniforms; big pump and show at annual functions presided over by big names many of whom seldom attended, glittering trophies for meritorious even in a single subject: so called educational tours: parents and grandparents day observed; every functionary at the school has limited tutored brief nobody dares to cross, guards and gates everywhere, uniforms, books and stationery at school only, everything for a price as in the Mall wonderful displays for wonderful insane prices. The so called most of big schools are corporates run for profit by those who have no connection with education and many are not even well educated.

 

No parents check the educational qualifications, skills, general knowledge, understanding of child psychology, experience of teachers, teaching methods followed at school, dedication and devotion of teaching staff;  the ratio between taught and learned, assimilation by the student: early childhood education should activate the natural desire to learn in the child, the instinct inside a teacher to learn and teach, sobriety of the teaching staff, the things parents  should really check perhaps want to know also but not able to express and pursue; nor made are available by these bombastic named schools: fact is India has very limited  number of real public schools where there is holistic development of personality of child.

 

Parents must make distinction between how and what children are being taught and not where they go for schooling: that would help to reduce the stress of the parents and save too. Possibility of a good school nearby for lower fee can’t be ruled out. It is the men in the school that matter not the building and buses. All children start their school careers with sparkling imaginations, fertile minds, and a willingness to take risks with what they think, said Ken Robinson. We need right teachers to put  them on the right track that may be available in humble schools not in show-ofs.

 

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.                            --Albert Einstein

 

In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something else.                                                                       

                                                                              --Lee Iacocca

 

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.

                                                                       --William Arthur Ward

(Parents should check above before admitting their wards in a nursery school)

 

Raring children is like clay modelling, they have to be taken care of at home also, taught and guides because they want to learn. Parents, of which mother is the most important person, she has to play the role and empower the child for higher studies and make him rough and tough to face the world outside, ensure other things which don’t happen at school. Such things will reduce stress for parents and child would be excellent human being and a good citizen too.

 

Admission to degree and professional courses is a stress both for students as well as for parents. Students are under stress twice once with the marks obtained in 10+2, and then with the admission in their choice course and the institute.

 

Marks in exam are important through the world, but everybody cannot be in 95%+ bracket: it is also a fact that all the seats and courses can’t and do not go to them. Marks are not everything, this fact has been recognized in some foreign countries and universities but not so far in India hence the students and parents are under stress of marks which spoils the game-student run after the marks not after the studies whereas it should be other way round as marks have to follow the preparation. Follow the correct path and leave the stress miles behind.  

 

Here the role of parents that comes into play. They must consider not only the marks and but also the total personality and faculties of their child, they are the best judge, professional help if sought is an added advantage and find out wherein their child has interest and can succeed: always keep plan A and plan B ready:  not to be led by desire to get the best of all but must be led what the child deserves, can get and succeed  and convince the child about the course and the institute: it is tough task but prudent parents have to do, both for their child as well as for themselves.  Don’t be led by what others are doing, their marks, finances, circumstances, interests, priorities, approach, thinking, faculties, genes, resources are different: possibly there is something else also they are hiding. Students at this age are immature, unable to understand realities of life, future of particular streams, their minds are too impressionable, these days children have too much information about what they intend to do and can argue well with all those who want to impress them, but life-the teacher and experience are different, strike a bond between desired and deserved, convince the child about the best for him so that he is relieved of the stress. Those who can excel for them careers are there in every subject and stream but everybody is not extraordinary: hence the stress and prudence of the parents to overcome that stress.

 

Subjects at 10+2, are no doubt indicative of future plan of studies: it is also fact that 9^th to 12^th class when the students are in age from of 14 to 17 are very crucial, possibility of the child developing interest in some other discipline or going astray can’t be ruled out. To select the stream not necessarily an outcome of 10+2, subjects and streams, which has become his hobby would relieve parents and students of stress as well as give him the career of his liking and strength.

 

Degree do facilitates direct entry into jobs. But fact of the matter is job-profiles have very little to do with the educational qualification except basic knowledge do comes to rescue in many situations. Success stories have novel inputs like an IIT graduation degree holder becoming a successful Police Officer of the highest repute and serving even after retirement and a just graduate rises to the level of a Secretary to Govt.

 

Fundamental qualities hard work, responsibility, devotion to duty, integrity of character, courage put one ahead of others. Admissions to high ranking institutes are not everything; people from other institutes also succeed and they are more in numbers. Do not be discouraged if got admitted in unknown institution their students also succeed many a times in unknown and excellent fields.

 

Wherever one gets admission it is the result of the labour, time spent, sacrifice made, self-denial done by the student and parents as well as hard earned money spent by parents then why to be unhappy with the results. Respect your hard work and sacrifices made and be on the road to face the world better equipped.

 

It's the teacher that makes the difference, not the classroom.

                                                                        --Michael Morpurgo

Stress : Lighten and Brighten-Formula

Stress

Lighten and Brighten-Formula

Lighten your body and enlighten you mind

 

Railways and other passenger carriers always insist that the passengers should travel with the minimum luggage for the simple reason that it provides more mobility, comfort to passengers and help the railway staff to keep the coach clean and perform their other duties. It also helps better circulation of air and effective air conditioning system. We must apply the same concept to our dwelling, keep it clear of the clutter - the things we have not used for years together and sometimes for decades together - the dwelling would look clean, more spacious, orderly, free of insects, lizards and with better ambience for family members as well as the guests; even otherwise cleanliness is loved by all. Throw out the clutter, stress too.

 

 “Outer order contributes to inner calm.” —Gretchen Rubin

 

A place for everything and everything in its place.”

                                                                    Benjamin Franklin

 

Obesity, in the common man’s language, means the state of being well above one's normal body weight. What is the normal body weight; most widely accepted norms are 50/45.5 Kg + 2.3 Kg per inch above five feet of height for male and female respectively. Irrespective of the technical details of weight and BMI, over weight is the cause of number of diseases like hypertension, diabetes, breathing problems, asthma, osteoarthritis, gallbladder problems,

 etcetera. Obesity is mother of all diseases, kill it before it kills you. It reduce mobility and also the romance activity – unliked by every human being; as the theory is youth comes; never goes, increases the danger of falling from upper berth in train, face accusing eyes in a public bus, getting stuck in economy seat of aeroplane. Those who are overweight must shade extra weight that will make them energetic, swift, smart, handsome and beautiful too, lesser expense on clothes with easy availability of the model skin fit clothes and lessor chances of above diseases. Reduce your weight to be free from stress. 

 

Most of us continue to drink cold drinks, tea, coffee, milk, energy drinks, shakes, fruit juice, mock drinks, yoghurt, and many add to it alcohol in the evening, some during day too, in addition to good three meals a day plus munching so much of sweets, savoury snacks and chocolates. Nobody counts the calories nor is bothered about the quantity, quality of intake and also the harmony between various contents added to the belly. We are, in fact, very ruthless and indisciplined with our stomach- the master but we treat it like a servant, stuff it with all the nonsense. If one could see the mixture one’s stomach has to handle, he will not eat anything for the next one week. Result is constipation, loose motion, acidity, gas, stomach pain, upset intestines, nausea, vomiting like sensation are common. Nothing much is required to be done except to be ruthless without mercy with self-denial for taste, tongue and greed. Both eating should always be less than the hunger and timely. It is better to skip when it is excessively late; do not disturb the system so late at night and so on. Similarly easing out should be regular and complete. If it does not happen, it is a cause of many diseases not only of stomach and intestines but also the heart and pancreas, mood swings and anxiety. Make sure that this happens complete, quick and regular so that the system remain fresh and vibrant and you stress free glowing.

 

We should keep our engagements limited and should be choosy as whom to meet, that would provide much time for self, family, loved ones, parents and to take care of problems both short time as well as the long term goals. Internet a gift to humanity has given us mobility without moving at all. We can remain in touch with everybody with whom we like; it is like Hindu Gods whose movement system was so strong that they could appear at any time at any place and this is true of them even today; as they are beyond space and time. Corona that way is a blessing in disguise; has taught the human beings everywhere how to carry on life meeting the minimum number of people, minimizing needs and staying at home. This will also reduce unnecessary entanglement in the affairs of others and hence a contributor to remain free from issues, anxiety and stress as well.

 

Free time is a luxury a few get and a time comes when everybody has that asset in ample. If one has free time even a few minutes: as you are retired; or doing your vocation from home, that times goes waste if not utilized for something even for leisure. Many people these days join time management trainings to learn how to use the spare time purposefully and creatively. Waste time is a loss for the individual as well as the group to which he belongs ultimately to the humanity. If all human being use their waste time with a purpose there would be no poverty or disease in this world. Since we live a social system which gives many good things to its citizens so the spare time, if any, should be used for welfare of the people around even for your loved ones and social cause. If nothing we should help the less advantageous people near like our helps, to carry one their life more peaceful and purposefully, this will provide one feeling of satisfaction of having returned to the society and create a feeling among others that they are being looked after. Both would have less stress more satisfaction.

 

Leisure is the time for doing something useful. This leisure the diligent person will obtain the lazy one never.

 

                                                                 Benjamin Franklin

 

Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds.                                           Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Whenever one has to go to a new place, attend some ceremony for the first time, meet somebody, do something for the first time, posted to a new branch or a new portfolio, some people are always found lacking in some information, aggressively pleading having never done before, ignorant about the protocol and the etiquettes to be observed; this creates stress with sensitive people. One must gather information, details, timings, consequences of intended activity to avoid awkward situations, unnecessary moments of stress and sometimes embarrassing too. Never be afraid, learn, search, gather, everybody starts with a pebble before he could move a mountain, everybody starts by doing for the first time. It is bad excuse to say have never done before.  Enlighten beforehand, be smart and stress free.  

 

Human mind is such a wonderful gift of the Lord that it is always working; it is something different from the flesh and bones the body is made of. It is not even the brain. It  takes one to the green pastures, valleys, mountains, beaches, dance parties, rave parties, honey moon, makes one to fly high in the skies and meet the Lord and what not; it  also makes one to weep, recollect the bad memories, irritates the mood and can also take you to drains. When the Lord has given us such a wonderful thing then use it for one’s own benefit. Recollect the good moments, be creative with positive thoughts, throw away the bad thoughts as bad dreams, do not go after irritants, leave where they were and be happy and stress free.

 

Every human being is reservoir of knowledge even if he has not obtained any formal education, my mother was one such person, she was expert in correcting the sprains of ankle and wrists she performed it free and always felt happy to do. Life is a great teacher, it teaches where education system fails to part with, beyond the system, this created by nature even for animals, it is excellent and extraordinary. Knowledge is lot of labour and sacrifices. If you have any knowledge, skill, expertise, or a God’s gift distribute it free for the benefit of others, it will sharpen your wisdom, understanding, prudence, give you solace and satisfaction, earn for you respect, regards and the blessing of those who are relieved of pain. Be generous and be stress free.

 

Ego-the idea or opinion that one has of himself especially the level of ability, intelligence, confidence and importance as a person: he considers himself superior-where as those who consider themselves above others in any respect are suffering from inferiority complex. It is assertion of “I &Me”, making the doer supreme instead of the action-Lord says it is the action that is important not the doer. In that sense ego is a negative trait. If you have that in any number, quantity, manner, throw it away: nobody can convince a person about this trait but a pure soul can. The reward would be enormous - respect, regard, love, affection, grace and what not: a change of attitude and outlook above all happiness stress-free.

 

Khudi Ko Kar Buland Itna Ke Har Taqdeer Se Pehle

Khuda Bande Se Khud Puche, Bata Teri Raza Kya Hai

Meaning

 

Develop the self so that before every decree

God will ascertain from you: “What is your wish?”

Allama Iqbal

 

Take your soul up to the higher levels of consciousness. Go to lap of Almighty. Make a habit to pay your obeisance to the Almighty the way you like best suited to you no rituals only total surrender. Feel presence of the God in and around you and in every fate, task, advantage, loss, coming to one’s way and be happy and stress free.

 

Massage the rubbing and kneading of muscles and joints of the body with the hands, especially to relieve tension or pain. It is a system of curing the pains and sprains, the world over particularly used in India more frequently by wrestlers.  It relaxes body, calms nerves, stretches connective tissue, relieves tired and aching muscles, improves blood circulation, reduces swelling, and

improves skin glow. In addition it promotes sleep, enhances self-esteem, relieves anxiety, tension, stress and negativity too, without side effects, lightens mentally and physically too. It is a romance, relaxation, a blessing apparent, also known as patting enjoyed by humans as well as animals.

 

 “Massage is the only form of physical pleasure to which nature forgot to attach consequences.” – Robert Breault

 

Lighten, enlighten, brighten,

live long and be stress-free. 

Self-Appraisal A Tool For Stress-Free Living

 

Self-Appraisal

 A Tool For Stress-Free Living

 

Without proper self-evaluation,

failure is inevitable.

                                                                            John Wooden

 

While walking up the ramp of the Gorton Castle, the building that once housed in summers the British Government of India, Central Secretariat Shimla, where I had joined as an Auditor in the office of Accountant General Punjab, a few months earlier in late sixties, one of senior colleagues, known as Swamiji, softly whispered, “while doing office work you discuss sometimes unpleasant issues with the Superintendent”. He advised, “make it sober and soft, if Superintendent felt hurt, he may spoil your annual confidential report (ACRs).” Confidential Report! Greek to me at that time. Slowly it transpired that the boss was required to maintain a register of quality of work done for each employee and write his impressions at the end of each month, as an aid for writing ACRs; when checked up to our surprise we found entries made were very pleasant. ACRs writing was a tricky job and bosses did not write for months together when due, building pressure on employees due for advancement in their career.

 

Subsequently, this was changed and every employee was required to submit a self-resume of the work done during the relevant period; before appraisal was written, majority found it an uphill task ran after those who had grip over expression and language. What to write; what not to write was the question and that would decide one’s  level of performance and grading too. That was how got introduced to self-appraisal in life.

 

Wilbur Pierce said, “Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales.” Equally true is self–assessment without exaggerating one’s qualities and camouflaging one’s faults, that started happening with resume too.

 

Self-appraisal, self-audit, self-justification for actions, require sincerity and integrity: not honesty but much above, with oneself. In fact, as Thales said, “The most difficult in life is to know yourself.” It is a meditation, realization of self, with honesty, genuineness and truthfulness; not everybody’s cake. There is no place for self-deceit in the theorem of sincerity with self; it’s a wisdom pure and selfless; it is a feeling, a intellect, a introspection, sometimes it is OK to take a step back and admit you are being ridiculous; but seldom we do. Majority of us think others’ wealth and self-wisdom always greater; majority tries to prove the others wrong and himself wiser than the others, the root cause of many disruptions, disputes, and distractions in life.

 

How to assess oneself; no procedure is prescribed; everybody would suggest different. It is an issue which is ‘me to me’ very delicate requiring lot of courage and strength. However, one way is a meeting with self. Every day at close; arrange a meeting with self, a meeting with conscious crystal clear, setting aside ego the “I and me” and analyzing whether everything during the day was done according to the voice of conscious particularly; the apparently wrong things like talking to someone in high pitched tone, not obeying elders, not listening to juniors, particularly your wife mostly treated as junior in every respect in our society, any dishonest act with a stranger or your helps like guards, maids, pressman, garbage man - many treat them sub-human being and actually it makes the so called boss a person, an inferior man, any other thing which you feel should not have been done that way. If you feel it should have been done other way round reconcile yourself and correct in the days to come, be conscious of it, some situations are easy to correct, for such others only a realization is needed. It will help one to avoid such situations in future and add a chapter of satisfaction in one’s life and make one wiser, brighter and acceptable.

 

Modern management has many ways to make self-assessment; one being SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis. Fundamental is the knowledge and admission of ones weaknesses- skill, experience, knowledge, character traits, habits, desiring more than deserving etcetera, never make them an excuse for non-performance always try to improve or live up the expectations; when wrong happens be quick to admit that would give strength and wisdom too but be careful who you share your weaknesses, some people can’t wait for the opportunity to use it against you.

 

 “In most cases, strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin. A strength in one situation is a weakness in another, yet often the person can’t switch gears. It’s a very subtle thing to talk about strengths and weaknesses because almost always they’re the same thing.”

                                                                               Steve Jobs

 

“Remember weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.                                                              

                                                                               Albert Einstein

 

Threat is the next to be taken care of; most of the threats are from outside and are taken care of well; but the threats from inside, your conscious, attitude, character, habits, even the way you talk and address people, are very serious and require strength and courage to overcome e.g. excessive dislike for a person, not forgetting the past, furious anger, grievous greed for something, short temperament etc. Take care of them in a sensible manner and it is the “YOU” alone who can correct it and make your person respectable; prudent.

 

Strengths and opportunities apparently simple issues but they require more sensible handling. A person must be aware of his strengths like humility, meticulousness, patience, listening, calmness, clarity, expression and control of language, good physique, ingenuity, being imaginative, skills, knowledge, etc. Mind it, not easy to do, has to be done. Never over exhibit them; use when required; people are too quick to allege ego that may hurt you. Never be over-confident: this turns a strength into weakness.

 

Great opportune moments come rarely in life, but once they come and are ceased appropriately they change the course of one’s life; otherwise every moment is opportune moment, catch a moment and make it: that is, what required in life.

 

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.”   

                                                                          Francis Bacon.

 

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

                                                                         Albert Einstein

 

Action has always been superior to speech; it makes you a man of promise, performance, results and delivery; earns respect, regards and remuneration too sometimes. Action is the essence of life. It will make your self-analysis more meaningful with lesser corrections and more satisfaction. It is the wisdom of ages, sages and scriptures too all the times. Do not speak for action; let the action speak for itself; doer is not important if you make it so, loss would be yours, makes you haughty but action is important. Act as devotion to divine, as your love, like, and hobby; reward is inbuilt and you need not work again. Play the game well goals are in built. Prepare thoroughly marks are just judgments of an evaluator. 

 

“The superior man is modest in his speech,

but exceeds in his actions.”                              Confucius.

 

Confucius further said, “He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.” How to conquer oneself that is question. There are no yardstick nor standard operating procedures as for Corona, to judge who is the winner. Judge yourself against the well-established moral norms: lust, greed, attachment, ego and anger; this perhaps too much to expect, exceptionally difficult to comply and perhaps next to impossible to achieve for a common ordinary man the category to which majority of us belong. However, if we bring down the scale of scriptures, this concept can be understood more easily. Grade yourself sincerely on the scale of 1 to 10, on any subject connected with above five moral values for example-how touchy you are. My assessment is nobody would agree that he is touchy. But that is not the way. Simple way to judge is how quickly one gives negative reply to most ordinary and positive questions, seldom agrees to advice, suggestion, always has alternative than the one under discussion, never agrees to apparent wrong, question is replied by a question, always on the side of the problem never with the solution, has always something to make his point, seldom a man of praise for others and their actions, all these indicate the existence of ego. See for yourself how much nearer you are to the basic concept that would help in self-assessment, evaluation and appraisal. Tough job but essential to perform to know yourself and remain stress free.

 

Another yard stick for self-appraisal, is self-imposed discipline that is also known as self-denial-when you can do something but you restrain yourself from doing. Those who impose discipline on themselves they are always gainers in one respect or the other; sometimes may not be in the intended direction, ultimately they are. It is jewel of human character; it is for the individual to decorate himself or not. It requires a determination, firm will to do, inner strength. Those who try to impose discipline on others are loser most of the times because the direction may meet with a retort vocal or otherwise. SID is a sacrifice and helpful in self-evaluation.

 

With self-discipline most anything is possible.

                                                                   Theodore Roosevelt

 

No one can win all the time. But you have got to learn from all you do both successes and failures. Always do a self-assessment.

                                                                          Michael Sachs

 

One can also adopt a more simple approach of pros and cons or say cause and effect of every situation, life presents on a platter. Think it, in a broader sense; not always from the point of view of self, earning, money or favours. In fact, these are very small things in life; not always helpful; for example when you have joined King’s service-now Government service; think for the welfare of the people, development or defence of the country; country’s relationship with other countries; how to make the life of people easy and also the honest ways of earning. But if you think of yourself it is unethical and dangerous it may cost your job. When working for an organization work for its aims and objective; it is where your character, sense of self analysis and integrity would be tested.

 

If still not able to proceed, remember age old sayings, “Think before you leap.” “Think before you speak.” “Think before you act.” They are time tested and well established. If you do not understand then you have only to repent your wisdom as some actions can’t be reversed; for example when you were required to attend somebody’s cremation but you did not attend, obviously it can’t be reversed.

 

It is up to you to choose between happiness and stress. If there are 100 reasons for being unhappy, there are 1000 reasons for being happy - we need to always try to find out those reasons and remain happy.

 

Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It is your masterpiece after all.                                    

                                                                             Nathan Morris

 

You are the master of the show-the Life, direct it well and be happy.