Stress-Free Old Age Golden Period of Life

Stress-Free Old Age

          Golden Period of Life

 

Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing.

It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given a comfortable front stall as spectator.

Confucius

 

Corona the Chinese Virus has brought many things with it: masks, hand-wash, sanitizers, social distancing but the worst is a direction to senior citizens to remain at home: not to venture out. Evil is that it has made persons like me at 76+, to realize that we have grown old; earlier I used to go out for walk of five six kilometers daily and on way back fetched milk and vegetables for the family. Some normally stress-free are feeling under stress. Even otherwise old age has its own problems Corona has added to the list.

 

Having lived for almost 45-50 years with one’s own created family the time comes when the kids start flying; daughters having gone to in-laws and sons have their own grown up kids with their education, employment and settlement issues. Generation gap is but natural which is widening more because, the traditional lifestyle grandparents followed has been replaced by the modern style more open and individualistic dear to the present generation; and also to middle generation their compulsion. Perhaps future generations will have to face it in sharper proportions. Even when you are with the modern day joint family, elders feel alone and loneliness sharpens if children and their kids move out; justifying age old saying water water everywhere not a drop to drink.

 

Then the God given partner your spouse comes to your rescue. Enjoy early morning get up with her and a hot cup of tea with devotional songs and of course the morning news on TV. A stroll in the nearby park or settling the overnight scramble of utensils, peels, setting up of beds, and wrappers at home give another opportunity to have second cup of tea or the green tea the modern day health drink with immunity mixture added to ward off Corona. What a wonderful morning where is the loneliness. Go to the market with spouse bring milk, vegetables, bread, butter and of course what he likes may be Soda for colourful evening or a pizza base, talk breakfast and take bath, before you enjoy the first meal, half the day is over for a complete man (better half + worst half, the Ardhnarishwar Lord Shiva and Adi Shakti in one body as per Indian scriptures), so comes the evening and night follows. Newspaper has been thrown out by COVID19, but a pleasant nap after every meal is a luxury.

 

Enjoy every second of your company with spouse without restrictions, romance, evening drinks, crispness of a biscuit, fragrance of the bitter gourd, sweet smell coming from the freshly cooked chapattis, sweetness of onions damped in apple vinegar, of course the physical love of early days of marriage forgetting the so called age, a number only and remembering the cosy huge of a bride.

 

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

                                                   – Mark Twain

 

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”                  

                                                   – Sophia Loren

 

Enjoy the way you like, with your spouse, it has never been irrelevant and non-performer only the ways change, slower the speed, longer the time better it is , mind is free of addition, it has always been a source of happiness, concentration, satisfaction, a bliss everyone longs for, of course medicine for many ailments. So do not be afraid, it is gift of God continue to enjoy till depart to His abode.   

 

In case one happens to be alone which everybody has to be one day or the other; learn how to enjoy solitude. It requires time, patience, and of course change of attitude to master this magic. Think positive, be a silent spectator of the drama of life the novel God wrote before you were born. The mind gets enormous amount of rest, and a day’s silence gives you more energy. If you are able to keep your mind blank for a while; this is the sole purpose of meditation, you can enjoy solitude and you will find it empowering. This is the time to turn to Him and seek his blessing, love, company and empowerment.

 

Alone let him constantly meditate in solitude on that which is salutary for his soul, for he who meditates in solitude attains supreme bliss.

                                                              Guru Nanak

 

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise, and restlessness. God is friend of silence. See how nature-trees, flowers, grass-grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun they move in silence. We need silence to be able to touch souls. 

                                                              

                                                         Mother Teresa

Daring individuals take daring decisions; not to the taste of family or the society or elders if they happen to be alive, they dictate, live life at their own terms; are not many but their number is increasing a positive sign of independence in old age instead of facing irritants. They adopt in the old age live-in relationship-modern day concept the youth adopts-to enjoy sex and still to remain free and uncommitted - and thus spend their time in a company instead of being lonely and wandering here and there. It is good approach, it gives purpose to life and living; gives independence of and being burden to, blood and other relations. One becomes master of his own world and happy.

 

In fact a man is never alone He is always with him, He is always at his back and call, if the man happens to be sincere to the core.

 

Body is another reasons to be taken care of in the evening of life. Enjoy everything you like, reduce the intake cereals, butter, sugar, salt, total quantity, calories, fat, white bread, non-veg and veg also. Follow the routine and timing, increase liquid intake, water the wonderful drink, limited quantity of tea and milk, butter-milk, curd, coconut water, fruit juices etc. With passage of time the capacity of the body to absorb essentials from the natural food decreases; food supplements are essentials with the advice of the physician if possible from the one who has taken care of you for so long.

 

Exercise light and that your body absorbs easily, be part of your routine like walking, neck rolls, clapping, deep breathing, stretching,  simple yoga and pranayama will keep the disease like cervical, constipation, stiffness of joints, miles away and your mood up without swings.

 

Take bath with warm water, even during summers that will help to keep your joints moving with melted joint grease, increase blood circulation, dip your feet in as hot water as you can tolerate for just five-ten minutes everyday day that will keep your feet and legs free from pain and fresh. Where is the time, people normally say, it has to be carved out of your routine if not possible do it when taking bath.

 

If suffering for age related diseases like diabetes, hypertension, osteoporosis, asthma, etc. take medicine regularly without fail; let it be sweet dish after meals. Enjoy taking medicine; they are the life giver and freshen your moods and moves. 

 

Health is not just about eating or not eating; it is also about what you are thinking and saying. Keep your thoughts positive, and say whatever you want to say simple, straight, polite and polished. Negative thoughts and improper utterings disturb your thinking as well as your digestive system, negatively altering absorption of food and nutrition by body, increasing the intake of antacids.

 

Knee pain is a general issue in old age. Continue to take milk and sunshine. One thing which life taught me is, take a few drops of almond oil or flex seed on your palms and massage gently the both the knees clockwise and equal number anti clock-wise for 5-7 minutes daily it will give relief. If no time do this exercise, do when sitting on the pot while answering the call of nature and be pain free in the long run. Make this a part of daily routine. 

 

Do not collect, children are settled, more you collect more the worries. Think of spending for your joy, happiness and moods without limits and hesitations, occasional everything is allowed and is fruitful. My father-in-law when he was eighty six, his spouse eighty, dismantled his home and house both, kept with him only his personal belongs, clothes and a bag for medicine, distributed large portion of his realizations as per his choice, balance everything with the Bank, despite my opinion to the contrary and he lived with his daughters three in number, his remaining life up to ninety two years and had a peaceful end. He had no regrets and always happy and enjoyed. I have still to see another person doing all this. Try if somebody else can.

 

Make a list of things you would like to do say during the next one year if you happen to be alive by that time, as many of us have already crossed the national life expectancy of 68.7 years in India and 78.7 years in USA. This will give you a goal, a purpose to live and a happiness when you achieve it with the added advantage of nostalgia for a period - more you have enjoyed longer is the feeling.

 

Power to decide is a miracle, God has given ample to a man. Use it fully do not depend on others, or ask others to decide, you have the power of deliberation, discussion and decision; talk to the persons who listen to your ideas and not to the persons who want to put their own achievements before you. Positive criticism is always good and people know how to put it across. Those who do not know don’t listen to them. Never carry the bricks from the old house to make a new one, that is the key to sweetness of relationships. Let things of the past die in past and live in the present. Decide your affairs with His blessing only.

 

New, variety, different, extra, can be anything-visit to a friend, holiday, different vegetable, even the great Indian  fruit chat, papri chat, samosa chat, Chat (not talk in a friendly and informal way) shoot of a seed you had sown, new necktie, petticoat for your wife,

dinner at road side, sitting mouth to mouth and back to back, halwa at 03.00AM, unplanned vacations, and whatever different you can think of, always gives moments of happiness and surprise so continue to find and make whenever possible; be stress free.

 

Laughter is an ornament Lord has given to man only. Be grateful to the Lord express your gratitude by laughing as long as one can afford daily; it gives exercise to one’s face and stomach muscles; improves face glow and digestion and to be happy stress-free.

 

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

                                        – George Bernard Shaw

 

Money is another necessity of old age. If you have money enjoy to the extent you can, keeping some powder dry for rainy days. If one does not have sufficient use your determination and decision leaving aside so called family honour. Take annuity of an amount equal to the estimated monthly expenditure on property you have, from a Bank (India has a law for that for senior citizens) and live peacefully. Always keep your money safe liquidity ensured, some nearby, with spouse, never be zero, money is next important to spouse.

 

Those without money and property should take benefit of all Govt. social security schemes available in the country along with all free facilities for senior citizens that would help to a large extent. Do not hesitate to avail facilities from the charitable institutions like free medical a galore in India. Still not able to manage join charitable Old-Age home now there are many in every Indian city. Wherever you stay be grateful to the individual concerned and useful to the institution thus earning your salt. Old-Age homes are, in fact our right, we the seniors, have contributed to the society for about forty-fifty long years or so, may not be directly but self-denial is also a mode of contribution. 

 

The best relations to take care in Indian context are your own children particularly your sons, if not comfortable with them, there should be no hesitation to shift to daughters but it is always slightly uncomfortable. Those who have daughters only there is no choice. These days there is great allurement for children to shift abroad for the “Azadi”, the great independence, freedom, free from encumbrances,  in addition to green pastures, but I have still to see a son taking his parents even when terminally ill, with him abroad permanently despite being well placed in a few cases.  Parents are generally invited only for delivery or education adjustments of grandchildren. It is only occasional parents are called for comfortable stay for limited days even then they are dispatched  quickly to India if they develop illness to save as medical treatment is too costly there and dollars and pounds are quickly converted into INRs. In the end one concludes: old-age should be free of this jugglery of relations only then one can be comfortable, so enjoy with your spouse and when alone enjoy solitude.

 

Sometimes one has hard responsibilities even in old age like widow daughter, aged parents, crippled spouse, income not enough: then everybody has to contribute and compromise with the circumstances to live a peaceful life so that utensils do not make a noise to spoil the taste of the food. Always remember old age is a journey not a destination; nobody knows who will drop first; be passengers in the same coach always be cooperative and helpful. Keep everybody happy their needs first and continue journey to enjoy. Have firm faith in Him and that this is all left-over from the previous life, all of us believe so firmly may not admit. Journey has to be performed, so perform as if you are in His lap. Life happens. Embrace the change. Make the most of everything that comes in the way.       

 

Retirement gives you ample time to do what you always wanted and you never thought of, when you want to do it, where you want to do it and how you want to do it.

 

        Retirement has been discovery of beauty for me. I never         had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids,         my wife, the tree outside my very own front door and the         beauty itself.

                                                                                Hartman Jule 

 

Old age is your own creation: it can be misery, it can    be celebration, it can simply be a despair and it can also be a dance. It all depends how deeply you are to accept the existence, whatsoever it brings.                                                                                                          Osho