Stress of When He Came Home Drunk

Stress of When He Came Home Drunk

 

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." 

                                                     George Burns

 

There was a very sensible ring of doorbell at first, and then a soft knock at the main door as if by angels, when I was half asleep at about mid night, I gathered courage, also my physique, and my clothes, went towards the main door of our home hurriedly without even slippers and with great confusion and fear, opened the door first putting the security chain in place, the door making creak, peeped through creek, found three men – idiots, standing outside with faces down holding my hubby tight while he was with lose trousers and all buttons of shirt open, lose shoe laces, eyes half open and red, half asleep, speaking something rubbish in an incoherent manner with face down. One of three musketeers said, in a low voice like a mouse, “Bhabi Sahiban, we had a party at my home, all of us enjoyed and he had little more. He is otherwise okay, nothing to worry”. As soon as, I held him tight and before I could acknowledge the help given by these three idiots to bring him to this condition, they disappeared in the dark of the night quickly and fast.

 

I took him to our bed room with great difficult, he being more than eighty kilogram, he was not able to maintain balance and walk properly and straight, putting all his weight on my shoulder, at every step he was apologizing, so much of foul smell full of he was. After making him sit on the bed I rushed like a mad person to close the front door lest some scoundrel enters. I could not make what it was and what was happening, slowly I told him to change his clothes, he did not agree and shouted to let him sleep. Smell was so foul, I once thought of leaving him alone and lock him in our bed room and sleep in the first floor balcony of our home; then he caught hold of me tight, I had no choice I had to sit but it was as if I was dying. Then I played my feminine role. Removed with great difficulty turning him right and left, his dirty shirt, vest, trousers, wet underwear; shoes full of vomit fluid and wet socks, he was completely naked still smelling most foul. This exercise made it clear that he had vomited in his friend’s home and also urinated in his underwear, hence the foul smell. I could understand how difficult is for other persons family members to clean all this non-sense in their home. I had to bear all this; he was my hubby.

 

He lay naked on the bed, looking horrified as in Hollywood movies sometimes turning mouth up and sometimes mouth down like a demon: I was so afraid what to do, what not to do, lest my young children see him in that role. I put air conditioner on, at 17 degree and soon he was shivering and himself took the blanket while murmuring some nonsense words. Soon he was snoring.

 

After sometime as it happens with all the drunkens, he asked for a glass of water: I knew the trick, gave him water with lot of lemon squeezed, he drank it to his fill and again started snoring within minutes. It gave me lot of relief though I spent whole night awake in that dirt and killing smell as whenever I tried to move away he was awake. Whole of this drama was enacted in the corridor and in our bed room. I thanked my stars, he did not raise his voice volume, perhaps he could not as he was perhaps full to the brim and perhaps ashamed too and afraid also not of me but the two children he had fathered.

 

Thank God, our angels two children twins one boy and the other doll two and half year old were fast asleep in the next room. I was having a nap on my sofa, when I heard the sound of anklet bells of my doll and her steps. I was astonished, I thought it was still night, but she was right it was her time to take milk. When I peeped through the curtains of the window, I found twilight had already been raptured by the rising Sun, it was morning; I felt little more confident.

 

Soon there was another ring of the doorbells, I said to myself, who could be there, my hubby is already in and I do not have the second one. It was the milk man with his drums. I had a sigh of relief.

 

At about 11.00 clock in the morning I heard noise in bed room as I rushed to see what was happening I saw him sobbing when asked he told he could not hug his daughter as he was sitting naked in the blanket, I tactfully sent to him with blanket to the bathroom and asked him to first take rich bath and wear home clothes and pleasant deodorant, he obeyed like the most obedient servant and came out well dressed, he had musk fragrance and then I allowed him to hug our baby. He was so happy and so were we.

 

The bed he slept was in bad shape, it was smelling bad and was wet also. Maid came in and when I asked her to wash the bed sheet etc she refused so bluntly that I had to swallow her remarks then it was packed in laundry bag.

 

"It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where you are going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice."

                                                                            Jim Morrison

 

In the morning after that horrifying night awake, although I was feeling tired, I had prepared the breakfast of his liking and enjoyed to our fill as brunch neither the breakfast nor the lunch, but something in between. His eye contact was missing and also the sharp voice, I was also laughing in my sleeves on his behavior like that of goat kid. But it was not as easy as I have narrated.

 

It was night of tension right from 07.00 PM onwards his usual time to arrive at home. When he did not arrive up to 08.00 PM, I gave him ring when he told that he would be coming a little late as he is with his friends, this made me apprehensive of coming events – whiskey and ice everything is nice – whiskey improves with age and I improve with whiskey . My apprehension came true when he was brought home in that condition although I took him in without a murmur but I was shivering, knew nothing, nobody else was there at home, lest he developed medical complications, vomiting, unconsciousness, need for taking him to Hospital etc.  I was reciting Hanuman Chalisa to ward off untoward events. It was physical ordeal for me to take him up to the bed in our room as soon as he lay on the bed I thanked the Lord for the strength he gave to pull him. My children were another worry, lest they wake up to see their papa laying naked on the bed and smelling so foul. All nonsense things were coming to my mind and making me shivers through the spine, I am afraid to write down what transpired that night in my mind. Oh God do not put anybody to such an ordeal.

 

Who was responsible, primarily he was, one should know his limits and so many other things particularly the place. People say it is for enjoyment, I intend to believe them, because hard drinks are a fashion at every celebrations. Bad is indulgence beyond a limit, but if it makes a lamb of the lion, what is the fun of such enjoyment which then becomes over-indulgence. In fact, it is lack of self-denial ingredient of one’s character.  Another person responsible is spouse and his tolerance, who many a times can correct such habits to some extent.

 

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.

                                                                                       Ovid

Life is important. There is nothing to hold onto. A man that drinks is throwing his life away. Don't do it, hold on to your life. There is nothing else to hold on to ...

                                                                  Tennessee Williams

 

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. I am not drunk so I am keeping many such things with me and not narrating anything. 

Stress of Lockdown (Part V) Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies (Solitude Tonic Against Stress)

 

Stress of Lockdown

(Part V)

Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

(Solitude Tonic Against Stress)

 

Corona, the Chinese Virus, Covid19, came and sent everybody inside, more so the seniors being with low immunity generally and thus made seniors lonely, even among the family crowd they themselves created, it is like water water everywhere not a drop to drink. Even otherwise, in this modern era of family planning, particularly in the middle class families, there in India is a craze, for settling abroad, parents have to be alone as they at the advanced age, perhaps can’t get citizenship in the foreign lands and moreover children wants to enjoy the space they were missing in India when living with their parents. I have still to see a known having taken his parents to his place of settlement abroad for permanent residence even when the time has left only one spouse on the earth and that too female one: even when parents go for vacations they are dispatched quickly to India if they develop serious or routine illness like tooth extraction, simply for financial consideration. Circle of life requires every one mostly the ladies to spend many years, sometimes decades of their life alone without the shadow of the life partner. This forced loneliness, a reality of life and that way every senior should learn how to change the biting loneliness to enjoyable solitude, enjoy it instead of suffering from loneliness and Corona has provided a golden opportunity to learn this skill.

 

Loneliness is being without company with a feel of sadness from being alone, without care and love is a far cry. It also produces a feeling of bleakness or desolation, in fact, it is negativity all round, leading to stress and many a times to depression. Lonely is not being alone, it is feeling that no one cares that way it is your expectation from others that make the things worse. It is worry not unnecessary as most of us are not able to take bold decisions like having a partner again or going to deluxe old age home; but in the present style of living being individualistic throughout the world it has to be necessarily borne, so why not to make loneliness an enjoyable asset – the solitude - the quality of being alone or remote from society without any regret only enjoyment.

 

Never fear Love's absence in your life, because it already exists within you, in great abundance.

                                                                                      Eleesha

 

Solitude is, in fact, an environment created by self-choice to enjoy loneliness with a specific purpose like a mystic - a person who seeks by contemplation and self-surrender to obtain unity with or absorption into the Deity or the Absolute or like Bill Gates who takes every year two “Think Weeks” to spend them alone in a cabin in the woods to escape the noise, read books, reflect on his progress and engage in deeper creative thought. There are ordinary people who adopt solitude to live joyful life as loneliness has been imposed upon by the circumstances. The point is this: it’s essential for mental health and personal growth to learn how to spend time alone. And perhaps the greatest benefit of solitude is that it gives you a chance to learn more about self.

 

“Solitude, the joy of being alone, stems from, as well as promotes, a state of maturity and inner richness.”

                                                                  — Neel Burton

 

The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.

                                                                     Feodor Dostoevski

 

When imposed by circumstances, reconciliation with the change is the first requirement to turn loneliness into solitude. Your faith in spirituality, your love for life, positive attitude, acceptance of change, the law of continuity on this planet, the show must go on thought, that every problem has a limited life span etc – the ingredients of positivity will further guide you in the right direction.

 

Time is a big healer people say but it is so if you allow it to make the past opaque, if you do not cooperate with time every wound would ooze blood dark and red full of pain, so move with the time and allow it to operate at its own gait and accept the verdict of the nature.

 

Most of the people say they are bored following the same routine for years together, if you study those who have no routine they are big failure in one aspect or the other. Routine is a magic wand to move towards solitude from loneliness in old age where loneliness is the order. One must develop a daily routine if not following one: should follow the same with rigidity with the exceptions essential to enjoy life as and when required.

 

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.  The secret to your success is found in your daily routine.

                                                                     John C. Maxwell

 

SWOT is a management tool. Do sincerely your own SWOT- Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats analysis. It is very difficult exercise, seldom have found men who were sincere and honest with themselves, but it is very paying in any situation. Once one knows, at least, his strengths and weaknesses, it is possible to concentrate on the strengths that will give a purpose to life, as success in anything may be even in a Solitaire game on internet is a positive and encouraging action. Knowing weaknesses and to take care of them, is the strongest weapon to proceed on the journey to success.

 

Keep your soul happy:

                                             

Keep the man inside - your soul – your contact with the Creator happy. It is not an off on phenomena. You have to carefully craft your way to reach the goal. Small things set right or done in a correct way will show the path of happiness may be for a few seconds: for example, if any of your helpers like watchman, maid, car wash boy has done something in right way to your liking, appreciate it, then and there, if possible, give a token of your appreciation like a cup of tea or coffee or money therefor, that would bring smile on their face and a broad wish voice for you every day that would give you happiness for a few seconds. Give charity to the deserving unexpectedly.

 

Concern for others may be unknown strangers - their grief, happiness, problems, issues is another juggle that will provide you instant satisfaction and happiness. Act when humanity needs it, but in present day it is the “worldly-wise” outer that keeps us away from good and timely deeds.

 

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”

                                                              Albert Einstein

 

Responsibility   is a wonderful concept provided you enjoy doing work for welfare of others, it gives you enjoyment and satisfaction even if you do not want to show on your face and in your actions. Responsibility gives a person feeling of belonging and ownership. He then becomes a part of bigger picture. Seeing one’s idea being implemented is emotionally gratifying in itself. Lack of responsibility is demotivating and makes the life aimless. Responsibility well performed gives a person:

 

(1) Recognition (2) Reward (3) Respect (4) Regards (5) Remuneration (6) a sense of giving

 

Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.

                                                       H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

Praise the Lord for whatever and wherever you are. Be grateful to Him. Listen to His praise as and when it happens to be your way, one can also do it in a dedicated manner, do it from the core of your heart. When one offers prayers of praise to the Lord, His power manifests in one’s life and may lead to miracles-solution to the problems which were evading answer for so long. Praise of the Lord, brings you closer to His presence, hence the Bliss.  

 

 No grudge, evil feeling, jealousy against any one, no harm anywhere. Try to forget such incidents of the past, always remember a spark can become a flame but a drop can’t become an ocean, one has to collect drops for years together to make them into an ocean. More you succeed in these aspects nearer you are to the goal of enjoying solitude.

 

Another ingredient of happy soul is smile, always keep a smiling face, smile is infectious, once you smile the other person has to smile. Speak good words that too polite and polished with everyone even with those considered down-trodden. Praise is key to happiness and smile; do it sincerely.

 

Listening is another pillar of happy soul. Develop your listening skills, not taught in any school or institute, a jewel of human personality.

 

Live in peace

 

A man is born in peace and soon he dies he is in peace again. The Lord sends him in peace and takes back him in peace. Turbulence is between the two peace ends and most of it is man’s own creation. Anybody can achieve physical peace: to be at peace is the issue. Lao Tzu says

 

“If you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

                                                                    Lao Tzu

 

Live in the present that is fundamental for peace in life. Love yourself and let the others live the way they like.

 

If one achieves as mentioned above loneliness automatically becomes solitude – a bliss –the highest of happiness.

 

Those who have learnt to enjoy solitude have discovered a mine of enjoyment and self-care. It boosts one’s concentration, creativity and memory. It allows one to rewind, to reflect and more so, allow imagination to wander. It improves one’s mental wellbeing, makes one happier with lower levels of stress and lessor possibility of depression. It empowers one to become comfortable with whom he is. The more one learn to shun out external influence, the more comfortable and confident one feels about his originality.

 

One can do lot of things in solitude. One such thing is Meditation which calms and sharpens one’s focus. One can write diary daily - a habit which the modern generation does not know. It is to be in conversation with self, good or bad, after writing down bad emotions one feels lighter. Set your goals and review their progress sincerely: can pay lot of attention to self physically and emotionally also.

 

Solitude is the place of purification.

                                                                  Martin Buber.

       

Solitude is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it.

                                                                   Deepak Chopra

Stress of Lockdown (Part IV) Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies (Silence the Pearl of Happiness)

 

                             Stress of Lockdown

(Part IV)

Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

(Silence the Pearl of Happiness)

During the Corona time children are busy on online, may be for studies or purchases, office goers are busy in the “work from home” the WFH the wonder word and ladies in Indian style their home chores; but what seniors should do particularly the men, when most of the news is repetitive, newspapers are missing for the fear they may carry Corona, home delivery is handy for milk vegetables, medicines, groceries, and online is facility for everything. How many times one can answer call bells and how much time it takes to water the plants at home, devotional songs and booze is not everybody’s cup of tea although there are some who enjoy songs in the morning  and drinks in the evening, but majority has no love for the both.  Nobody has the time to spend some with their seniors and give them company, listening and entertainment are a far cry. The end product of everything is that seniors are lonely and slowly going under stress and sometimes into depression.

The effect of such a situation is that many lose interest in their day to day life that increases the level of irritation and they get angry now and then-that makes them more irrelevant, they reduce their intake that increases intake of medicines and majority develop enforced silence - the first step towards depression. Solution has to be found within these existing circumstances as Corona imposed.

Speech is natural to human beings and in fact to all the living beings. It is gift of nature to life and more so to the man. It is a means to express day to day in grief and happiness and we learn to speaks as soon as one is born, if otherwise one is normal. Humans can add sweetness to it by their words, tone and tenor even otherwise one should speak in polite and polished manner that can get one best of friends. Manners, formalities, discipline, knowing of the limitations, relations, circumstances, environment audience  and the place are the parameters that forces a person to make his speech suit the audience and the occasion: if one does not bother he himself becomes non-existent.

Speak when you must that will enable one to have control over expression as well as the words one speaks and your voice would be heard. Such a behavior is also the indicative of one’s strength of character and love for self-respect:

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

                                                            Unknown

In old-age, we have lot of experience and time at our disposal but audience is missing or has thinned. We have lot to tell but the time changes the relevance of our experience much of which has become obsolete and obscure but our urge to tell becomes stronger and stronger with time, which sometimes irritates the audience and costs relations. We must choose our words, their relevance and the timings. People like to listen “yes” more often about their proposals, so unless there are any fundamental differences and issues, proposal of others be agreed to. Still better is to remain as much silent as possible.

In simple words silence means not to speak and to remain calm & quiet, just an observer of the situation. Silence is a discipline very hard to learn, still harder to practice. It is an art of keeping your emotions, urge, temperament, thoughts under control and cool too. That way Corona period is a gift of nature to seniors when they would understand the beneficial aspect of remaining silent.

Silence is a medium of communications the most effective one. It is the language of Gods and sages. It is language of nature. It is the language of growth and meditation. All good things are given and taken in silence. Speech is silver, silence is golden. If you do not understand the silence of somebody you would not be able to listen to his voice also.  It is great art to understand and listen to silence. Silence is the most effective voice if you know how to listen. Rudyard Kipling said, jungle speaks to him because he knows how to listen.

“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” – Elbert Hubbard

Prayer to God- a perfect communication model which follows silence as the medium of communications. Only those who know how to pray can understand how beneficial silence is to an individual. All human beings when they wake up early in the morning pray to the Almighty for good health and all round progress for themselves and for their loved ones. While doing this prayer a person is most open. He is true to himself, he confesses, he accepts, he admits and he talks direct. He has noble and pure thoughts. In fact, he talks to himself. He is satisfied having talked to the God. God knows everything about him. Everything is open and known; nothing is hidden or unknown between the man and the God. There are no egos between the man and the God. One is not afraid of the other. This is most effective and perfect way of communication. If we can talk to other persons in the way we pray to the God that would be the most effective way of communication.

Language is for non-lovers, those who are not in love,

For lovers silence is enough language,

Without saying anything,

They go on speaking.

OSHO

 

Language of silence is wonderful, it is understood by all human beings on this planet, even the birds and animals like silence. No words of any language are required only gestures are enough and are widely understood world over. It is divine language, God speaks only in silence and you have to be silent to listen what He says.

One must practice silence. Let us start from forced silence. Do all you morning chores without making any noise and take it “one can do” for example brushing your teeth, taking bath, having a cup of tea, reading newspaper, getting ready for the job, taking your breakfast etc etc. That will reduce your dependence on others and improve your temperament, in addition make time available for relaxation and leisure. One can start with say twenty minutes in the morning and then increase the time as one feels blessed with this habit. It is possible.

In many religious practices, chanting the name of the Lord without speaking is taught: that helps one to remain engrossed with the Lord anywhere anytime without disturbing one’s work and daily routine. This practice helps one to separate mind from body - that way mind is doing something else and body is busy somewhere else. When one has reached that level, slowly he can practice to keep the mind free from all the thinking even from the name of the Lord. This is not easy, it takes a longtime, but as and when one able to achieve this it is a bliss, the tranquility, peace and Shanti achieved will always remain with the person and he would become internally happy, finding positivity in every situation. It is wonderful journey. One must try at least once.

Silence provides physical strength to vocal cords, so much essential when one is suffering from hoarse voice and bad throat even otherwise we must provide rest to our vocal cards. Silence is also a big energy saver.

Silence provides a person lot of time to analyze, think, plan future action, think of response as the energy saved sharpens the functioning of mind. Correct assessment of the situation leads to correct solution and hence acts as a multiplier to the respect and regard of the person giving solutions.

In such a time seniors must increase their level of positivity – to ooze love, affection, purity, charity, compassion, sacrifice, wisdom, happiness, determination, selflessness, kindness, gratefulness  etc  from their activities for others and for their benefit, in addition to thinking and acting for positive results for each problem and difficulty. This requires a change in the attitude as to how we see others and their activities. It is mine of inner glow and happiness not only mentally but physically also. It keeps you engaged and in center of the things.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

                                                                 Winston Churchill

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”

                                                                       Martin Luther

Enjoying silence is the first step towards managing life purposefully when the era of solitude commences for one reason or the other.

Amavasya” in the month Magha in Hindu calendar is observed as “Mauni Amavasya”. It is believed that creation of the Universe commenced on this day. As the name “Maun” suggests it is day to observe silence so many  people observe “Maun Vrat” on this day in reverence to the Lord and a few extend this silence for a week or month still some for a year. Without going into the religious aspect of this festival we can say even the Lord created the Universe in silence.

“True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit. What sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.”

                                                                                      William Penn

Stress of Lockdown (Part III) Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies (Calmness the Magic for stress)

                          Stress of Lockdown

(Part III)

Think of Seniors, Super Seniors, Oldies and Goldies

(Calmness the Magic for stress)

 

FullLockdown: Medicine, grocery, milk, vegetables, dairy products, fruit delivered at home. Children do not allow persons like me senior citizens to go out lest #Covid catches, same faces, same routine eat sleep, watch TV, no newspaper to read, no visitors. What is this God? This was one of the tweets that was posted on Twitter.

 

The other view is, Matsya is an avatar of the Hindu god Vishnu. Matsya is described to have rescued the first man Manu and other species from a great deluge. Think that Lord Vishnu is protecting everybody and we are inside Matsya the Lockdown.

Such a situation can be boring leading to stress and depression. What to do. People suggest many ways to get rid of such feelings.

Get up early in the morning it is not a problem with seniors; simply because if you get five-six hours sleep at night it is enough; some get less than this and still there are many who do not get sleep even late at night. However to refresh themselves is a problem with many; but they need not be taught because they so experienced in these matter. Have a cup of coffee, tea, warm water, aloe Vera juice or simply the fresh lemon and water would do. Now you are free to proceed on a journey of self and refresh yourself mentally and to enjoy the day ahead.

 

This is the journey which modern generation says meditation: it is not the end it is the beginning and a continuous for every day so prepare yourself emotionally. It is a way of life. It cannot be abrupt, off and on; and so are its fruits the benefits, you cannot reap in a day or week. Learn from the masters; it is not bookish; it is practical; a training of mind and body and the hard one.

 

Can there be any timing for meditation. Many would say early morning in the wee hours; “Amritwela”, yes that time is good as the external disturbance of body and mind are minimum during that period: nature during that period showers nectar on all and everywhere; the twilight and horizon are at their best. However, meditation can be at any time the only condition is that one should be able to isolate oneself and create a physical vacuum and it can be even when you are with your family and friends and also doing something: in such condition you have to be slightly careful about your body. Meditation is an activity of mind not of body still the body plays its own roll as body houses brain and mind is an activity of brain and soul. So if you are unable to find time early morning it can be anytime you are free.

 

One of ingredients of meditation is calmness of body, action, reaction, thinking, mind and soul. Learn to calm your body first: that has deteriorated with time: you cannot run when your required, you can walk only. If you run against your physical fitness you may have breathlessness, may even fall, have bones broken and so on. Understand carefully that youth has gone and now you are senior citizen, genes-clock is already on and has reached its last phase you already have something chronic like hypertension, diabetes, prostate or something more to be taken care of every time. Digestion now wants only the boiled vegetables less of butter and ghee-the crystalized butter, chicken and mutton, spices, sugar and salt, starch, it needs even lesser number of chapatis more of fruits and liquids. It is a time to reduce intake of beverages and also the alcohol even if it is imported one. You can’t do trekking now which you loved so much. Physical action of the body has to be reduced to what you can do like walking at a pace you can afford as much as your body can tolerate essential and a panacea for many old-age ailments, light exercises or simple yoga a must to keep the age related issue as far as possible. This is what calmness of body means.

 

After the body it is the speech which remains most active throughout the day, distributing knowledge many times uncalled for, telling stories of the past, remembering past and saying no to many of the proposals of younger generations without understanding what generation gap means. What such a behavior fetches, many a times just listening as people respect your age, relation or position; some give you a deaf ear and sharp reaction too, sometimes that creates lot of tension, high pitch voices, stress and a feeling of insult and inappropriate behavior. One has to cool down such a behavior, speak when you must, always polite, polished, soft and well behaved. Realize you most important needs are nutritious diet as age demands and good medical care, unless these are adversely affected which would happen seldom, speak only the sweet words: distribute blessing whosoever meets and get best wishes from everybody. Keep your purse slightly lose and distribute to unknown, needy and strangers you would listen best of the words and pleasant ones and whatever is left would be used without your concurrence the way they like may be for the good or the bad. This is time to cool your tongue.

                                   

Thinking comes the next; think positive and creative that gives you the pleasure; by now everything is settled, career is over you are getting pension and interest more than the requirements of the wonderful couple and a wonderful drink in the evening, wife is there to serve you hot cup of coffee, children are married and settled, have all the luxuries of life a car and house, medical facilities nearby or at call. What more you want. Perhaps nothing more than the peace and happiness. Spend some time with the Lord the last resting place of the soul: listen devotional songs and praise of the Lord: that will ensure positive thinking.

 

Mind: what is this? As I know it is a calculator, always thinking plus or minus, advantage and disadvantage, profit or loss, what “I will gain” argumentative always thinking “I know more than others”, not ready to listen, always agitating, always preparing a response, a store house, a search engine, always afraid, never self-happy; always in action even during sleep: recalls from memory much faster than a super computer. How such a thing can calm itself. Really impossible. Saints, sages, seers and still higher beings tried for years together by meditation and otherwise to calm it: some succeeded others had some wonderful and bitter experiences and some failed all together. That way a common family man perhaps is least capable to calm the mind. What to do and what not to do at the same time it is essential to calm it to fight stress particularly at such advanced stage of age sixty plus. Here lies the need for introspection what a person needs at this age only  physical needs- a good medical system, nutritious food, good entertainment system to pass the time and a solid financial system to take care of all these. At this age all issues of life either stand solved or there is somebody to take care and if you have a good financial foundation there is nothing to worry. Those who are not fortunate enough their problems need critical examination of various issues.

 

If one fall in the above category, learn how to ignore, how not to entangle in others affairs, confine to what concerns you positively, learn to say yes positively the proposals which others have, appreciate competence and capacity of others, appreciate your children and grandchildren it is their time now, greet whomsoever you meet, think good of others, all such things would give your mind a positive and cool space away from negativity and agitated outlook. This what I understand what calm down of mind means. Brilliant and beautiful things happen in calm minds. Be calm. You are brilliant.

 

Calm mind may provide a time of “no subject” in mind, nothing to think, nothing to do, a vacuum only- first step towards self-realization the ultimate main of meditation.

 

Soul what it is, how it can be calmed and tranquil.   Soul, in religion refers to the immaterial aspect of a human being, that which confers individuality more or less synonymous with the mind or the self. In theology, the soul is further defined as that part of the individual which partakes of divinity is considered to survive even after the death of the body. However in this blog we are not concerned with defining souls or its function. We are interested only to keep the stress away and how the soul as known to the common man can contribute to his welfare in that respect.

 

1. Contentment: It is fact that whatever one wanted to achieve has already been achieved when he crosses sixty years of age. As such he should remain contented with his achievements, circumstances, environment, possessions and relations that will save many entanglements and gave you peace and satisfaction.

 

“Contentment makes poor men rich, discontent makes rich men poor.”                                Benjamin Franklin

 

Contentment does not come from achievement. It comes from a relationship with the Lord.

                                                               Paul Henderson

 

2. Practice positive psychology – Mindfulness, Gratefulness, Positive Affirmations

 

Stay focused in the present. Peacefully work out in your mind what situations make you stressed and why. Be aware of your response to the source of pressure. Try understanding the importance of what you are worrying about and find positive ways to calm yourself when you are feeling apprehensive. Take time to reflect, genuinely, on the positive things going on in your life.

                  

Use positive language and thoughts, acting as your own source of inspiration. Some studies show that using affirmations can boost your mood over time if consistently repeated.

 

3. Express yourself – Confide in a loved one.

 

When stressed find “Dil Da Maharam” my mother used to say-one who can apply balm and cool you. If you are not able to find one confide in a loved one if you can. In this age it is difficult to find such a person. Practice how to confide in one of the deities, I have seen people making Radha Krishn or Lord Hanuman their friend and placing problem before them and then forgetting everything.

 

4. Spirituality:  Many have defined spirituality in their own different way. Spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or belief that there is something greater than myself, and that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature.  Enjoy what that “Whole” has given to its “part”, in fact “Part” has everything that “whole” has. Be above petty things. Be with love, compassion, solution, welfare of others, charity, these things will give you internal glow and a peaceful and internally happy soul. Learn the value of present moment, use it in His devotion and welfare of others. Spirituality is closing the eyes to see you self. See Him everywhere and in every one. You need not be a mystic but a family man to believe that He is with you always.

 

“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.”             

                                                                Marcus Aurelius

 

You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.

                                                         Swami Vivekananda

 

5. Intuition:  

 

Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without recourse to conscious reasoning. It is the voice of the Lord, your soul, conscious, nature and always coming from the inside, sometimes in the distress to guide you to the right path. It is link with the Supreme. One must learn to recognize intuition.  No scientific or valid reasoning. Intuition is not logical. It is not a result of a set of considered steps that can be shared or explained. Instead, while based on deep-seated knowledge, the process feels natural, almost instinctual. Telepathy to some extent is also related to intuition.

 

Follow your intuition, it will always lead you to the right destination.

 

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

                                                                                       Albert Einstein