Stress at 75+

 

Stress at 75+

 

Cherish all your happy moments;

they make a fine cushion for old age.        

                                                                     Booth Tarkington

 

At about 12.00 hrs at night between 28^th and 29^th May 2019, I along with my wife were woken up by a sweet known voice, “Dadu”,“Happy Birth Day”, with that stopped the snoring of my wife and she woke with a surprise, as if some bad or good dream had been broken: the sweet voice was that of my grand-daughter, the little Angel -“Devadoot” and she really is: nick named “Angel” at home: had brought a cake of the kind we oldies like and enjoy: without cream and icing and of course two birthday candles and tons of claps, hugs, love and laughter for us. We had a nice small night-in picnic for about 15-20 minutes, full of sweetness all around, it was most wonderful time, we family of six spent that night. We had not kept

any return gift for her as usual.

 

As it clocked 1200 hrs., had birthday cake cut, whole of it was consumed and no cake facial as the young people do-perhaps a western aping and also perhaps we were old enough: children very respectful and well behaved and I told now we will get Rs.4500 more pension every month as I had crossed 75 and my commutation is restored.

 

These youngsters - grand-sons and grand-daughters bring to our lives what we had not enjoyed, perhaps longed for it, somewhere in a deep dark corner of our heart.  “They make us feel, “Count not the candles…see the lights they give”. “Count not the years, but the life you live”. It is wonderful feeling to enjoy birthday may be late in the day.

 

Although we were seven, never knew what “Happy Birth Day” was. In those days this was limited to Gods, Leaders and Celebrities, no celebration at home, school or with friends: man is born only once and not every year as at present. Fact of the matter is, I came to know of my date of birth only when I was admitted in sixth standard in Sanskrit English School. It was after marriage, I came to know this concept of “Happy Birth day”. I do not know the reason, perhaps one was families were too large when we were born and a mother in her reproductive years most of the time was carrying one, so where is the reason to celebrate birth of the previous one; while waiting for the next one: this was true of almost all the families: shifted everything to the management of the next. Every year or so “Happy Birth Day”, celebrations were there in every family with a new baby every time.

 

In India, the Union Govt. has fixed sixty years as the age of superannuation, popularly known retirement, probably keeping in view that, at present age expectancy in India is about seventy years, so that a retiree lives in peace for another 10 years. In one of the bereavement rituals, I happened to attend: the Priest said a man’s average age in Satyug was 1,00,000 years-perhaps that is the reason people do not know the birth of Hindu Trinity Barhma, Vishnu and Mahesh who belong to that era: in Tratayug it was 10,000 years, in Dawaparyug it 1000 years and in Kaliyug it is 100 Years. We are passing through Kaliyug so the maximum age is 100 year people seldom go beyond that. Perhaps that is why people say:

 

After 60 every year is His grace

After 70 every month is His grace

After 75 every week is His grace

After 80 every day is His grace

After 85 every hour is His grace

After 90 every minute is His grace

After 95 every second is His grace

After 100 grace is seldom.

 

Check up your bracket where you belong to. If 75+, take care of health and your spirituality as all other things stand settled by now: do not lengthen this list by any additions unnecessarily by any emotions or relations; not  even by money: if life goes on well no need to worry: actually it is time  to spend & relish than to save and invest.

 

Health is most important - physically and emotionally. After sixty, good health is a gift of God, it serves the individual himself, his family and well-wishers and keeps his well-earned resources safely. So no letup is desirable in this respect as the life is not a problem to be solved, it is a reality to be experienced: if you do not care experience would be unhappy.

 

Genes play their own role in physical and mental health, still fitness and maintenance to large extent can be taken care of, to remain disease and stress free. Adopt a routine for exercise, yoga, morning walk, early get up, sun bath, prayer to the Lord for good health and any other thing one has been doing so far to keep good health. One does not need a teacher at this age. You are the master of your body and know more than any other person does about you.

 

Fundamentally one should remain active and pain free. Normally it is the joints that create problems. In addition, to morning walk for a minimum of half an hour or so and light exercises as much as your body can tolerate - add some massage to your routine. Massage your knee joints for 5-7 minutes daily yourself with almond, flaxseed or sesame oil and keep your feet and lower legs in warm water as warm as one can tolerate for 7-10 minutes daily. Follow this religiously that would keep one free from joint pains, active, with better blood circulation and physically relaxed: may result in delaying or eliminate the need for knee replacement surgery altogether. Warm water bath throughout the year is another magic that relaxes with good blood circulation, free and well-oiled joints and help one to remain pain free and active. Body massage with mustard oil once a week or even a fortnight is another relaxation tonic and massage with almond oil is a luxury.

 

Diet is another source to remain healthy. At any meal, always take 10-15% less than your fill, it will keep you light and give your stomach space enough to digest. What to eat or not to eat is always a question: continue to eat what you have been for so long: restrict the quantity; veg food is always easily digestible and provides essentials in a natural way without side effects: take liquids in required quantity with lesser starch, salt and sugar. Skipping food one meal a week is another health add and a magic.

 

Many of us at this age suffer from chronic diseases like diabetes, hypertension, asthma etc. that require daily dose of medicine: follow what the doctor says: be regular in health check-up: do not hesitate to take food supplements as at this age system is unable to churn the essentials from the food we eat. Keep your medical policies current pay premium in time. Keep cash, policies and prescriptions always handy that would enhance your confidence level and ensure speedy recovery too. Proper diet and digestion takes care of many diseases so be careful about your diet nothing in excess always less than the hunger: flow the golden rule when hair are silvery grey.

 

Physical health has a wonderful relationship with emotions, love and relationships. Food for you cooked with love, served with love, and eaten together with love is much more nourishing and digestive: every bite is enjoyable. Ensure you eat food where people love and like to serve you than where you force your entry and they serve you as a burden.

 

Relationships and emotions they are highly inter-linked aspects of life. At this stage of life 75+, grand-children have their future before them, children have their present and we the oldies and grands have the stories to tell of our past that way we are different from our children and grand-children. Present and future are always much more important than the past with results before us. Strike a balance between present, future and past for welfare of children, provide them the maximum space and wealth of your experience positively and keep the stress away and happiness all round.

 

Relationships as commonly understood do not exist at 75+, one may have sympathies but not the relationships and empathies of the youth is now thing of past: if one still has a satisfying relationship pious and sacred that is gift of the Lord and precious one: keep it safe, sound and sacred: possibly away from the eyes of criticism and also from those who may laugh at it as many do not know what is love and what is relationship.

 

The best relationship at this age 75+ is with that of your spouse, the queen one had brought in a veil and the prince that had gone on a mare back to bring that queen: keep that relation up and up keep it too, with best of intentions and cravings for love and affections. Never miss a chance to make your spouse happy, healthy and never forget to make love may not with the intensity of yesteryears; a smile, a huge, a wonderful morning kiss with hot cup of tea or coffee, a helping hand now and then is enough to keep the flame burning red-hot.

 

Many at this age feel an urge to be with brothers and sisters, do obey your urge and relive your childhood memories like the jaggery melted on a hot scratcher and eaten together before the tea utensil gives steam and brew is ready to be served, but everybody is not that lucky. Enjoy the nostalgia. There is something natural about it; perhaps the genes clock plays the trick.

 

Relationship at this age other than your own men includes all those things which give you happiness, solace and satisfaction; do perform all such activities without any hesitation. It is not the time but the quality, richness, warmth that matters to sooth your emotional senses.

 

If you have some dreams: like visiting a place: going to a friend: meeting a relative: having a meal at particular restaurant: do not keep the desire lingering, try to fulfill the desire that would give happiness whose fragrance will linger for many days may be for weeks: be stress free, make an addition to good memories list. 

 

Spirituality the way most of know is to chant the Name of Lord, is a journey which normally starts in old age, if one is lucky enough to reach there: any age is good to start so is 75+. But what is spirituality: it is really difficult to know and understand particularly at 75+. Any how it is something being concerned with the human spirit or soul. Now what is spirit or soul: it is because of what all living bodies are living otherwise they would become a dead bodies.

 

Many people think spirituality is to meet Him: Yes that is the aim of spirituality. One must have desire, stronger desire: from the core of heart: pure and purposeless just to meet Him nothing more and nothing less. One is sure to meet Him. “Jo Mange Thakur Apne Te Soyi Soyi Deve” Guru Nanak Devji meaning whatever you ask Lord gives the same to you. So if you long for his Darshana He would certainly oblige you. Thought > Plan > Action and the Lord is with you right from the initial stage of the thought, just try and you will find him sitting very near to you.

 

Spirituality is a broad concept. In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. It is a universal human experience. People may describe a spiritual experience as sacred or transcendent or simply a deep sense of aliveness and a connection with Him. Others may pray or find comfort in a personal relationship with God or a higher power. Still others seek meaning through their connections to nature, art, music, performance, or simply creativity in any of its dimensions etc. Like one’s sense of purpose, personal definition of spirituality may change throughout one’s life, adapting to experiences and relationships. At this age, it is very intricate to get entangled to know what spirituality is: continue to do what you have been doing so far for a connection with Him that is the real spirituality, practical, personal and authentic too.

 

One has to continue his life style as hitherto: so do what you want to do while living with family if one is fortunate to have one or allowed to live with: many lose the family when they need they most. People suggested different ways: it is for the individual concerned to choose his own way to as how to get to the Lord. However, I suggest small and insignificant things which may help an individual to be feel His blessing and if He willed may meet Him also the way He likes and one is able to appreciate and recognize his blessings.

 

Start your day with a prayer to Him; may be in the bed itself after one wakes up or as quickly as possible thereafter but definitely before the daily routine starts. Ideally according to me one should make a prayer starting, firstly remembering the Lord with all possible names seeing His image in all places one has visited in his life so far and also remembering his ancestors, loud enough to reach his own ears should not be audible to others as the prayer is between two only-You and the Lord. Remembrance sincerely done even once with name of the Lord is enough.

 

Secondly one should thank Lord as many times as possible for all what we are and in the circumstances we are. Every person gets something never expected: the windfalls. In fact, one should continue to thank Lord for every action in daily life. Like when starting to eat food, thank the Lord for the food. My grandfather used to sprinkle a drop of tea or milk on the ground whenever he took tea or milk and one day when asked he said this is for the whole universe (Bharamand) from where we are getting all these thing: I was too young to understand what he said: now I realize that Space is biggest treasure for life on this earth.

 

Then make a sincere prayer to the Lord; Pray for “Tandroosti and Trakki” (Health and advancement), “Sukh and Shanti” (Comfort and peace), “Dhan and Daulat” (Money and possessions) for yourself and for all loved ones. Experience and research shows that the prayers made for others are heard out of turn.

 

Bring positivity in your life: what positivity is: Positivity means thinking in an optimistic way, looking for solutions, expecting good results, success, and focusing and making life happier for others and yourself also. It is a happy worry-free state of mind, which looks at the bright side of circumstances. It is not a word but an action; it is perhaps easy to say but difficult to bring in: not impossible. Small amendments are required in the life style. Learn how to listen and be patient. Develop appreciation for your surroundings, environment, circumstances, your possessions, atmosphere and action by and achievements of others. Have respect for the views, ideas, opinions, problems, difficulties, issues, raised by others, take criticism appreciably, be happy and contented with what the Lord has given, always look into the intent not into the words. Always look for solution do not stick to problem: confront them head on. It is the action that brings solutions. Whenever in interaction with others always talk for the benefit of others: when it comes to wishing, wish from the core your heart, give blessing amply and as much as one can: this would make a web and aura of positivity around you and the other person also and this would increase and brighten every time you meet that person. This change will bring people with the similar attitude to you and hence happiness all-round without any stress.

Try to get absorbed in His thoughts: what does it give: how does it taste: it is difficult to absorb in His thoughts but not impossible. First learn how to absorb in your own self and how does it taste: there are so many ways to absorb in one’ own self that is the first step to absorb in Him as He lives in us all we are His fragments. The first step is whatever you do, do it from the core of your heart with full involvement and attention. Absorb yourself in all your daily activities like enjoy walking, relish your food, enjoy every sip of tea or coffee, having a massage, even taking a bath. All such activities give you the taste of peace and enjoyment for example when one eats the food he likes most, he feels inner joy which one continues to enjoy till food is there so the duration of such enjoyment is short precisely till one is occupied by that activity: but Anand the Bliss is certainly there may be for a few minutes.

Next step is to lengthen this period of enjoyment and to find out an activity that is more mental than physical as eating food has its limitations, so that we can enjoy a little more: one may say romance and music are two such activities: obviously romance needs a large and a particular type of paraphernalia to enjoy, music does not need and it has the advantage of being anywhere, anytime with anyone. So learn how to enjoy music. Be actively involved in music: listen what you like most: listen again and again not with ears but with your mind: let your thoughts move with in depth meaning of the devotional song: feel everything is being said to Him: feel His presence; feel as if you are the person addressing the God in the song; if you have started enjoying that way you have learnt how to increase the period of enjoyment and reached the next stage of enjoyment.

 

While music, song, devotional songs, ghazals are being played many would be able to enjoy: one must learn how to enjoy music when it is not being played; music without music that is the essence of enjoyment and a way to increase the period of enjoyment. Concentrate, learn and listen again and again the song you like most and you will understand the trick of enjoying music without music.

 

The test of an enjoyment is the remembrance which it leaves behind.

                                                                          JEAN PAUL RICHTER

 

When one has learnt to enjoy music without music: that is humming coming from the soul not from the vocal cords: school teach music humming comes from inner, humming involves, absorbs, sucks: then one should try to learn how to praise Lord or chant his name without making a voice. This really needs effort, inclination, positivity, emotion, feeling, love, affection, patience and practice. Not to worry, one would succeed because He wants you to succeed.

 

Whenever visiting a religious place, take His permission before entering, it is His home: feel His presence, He is sitting inside to receive you: feel as if you have come to your Father: talk to Him like any other individual: he listens: talk to Him with undivided attention and He would respond with undivided listening. He is really that near: Slowly you may develop love to like Him and so He would for you: if you have love in first sight nothing like that. One always goes to a living God; not to an idol or a book; feel his presence and benevolence that is why He has allowed you to enter His home. All religious places are full of positivity when visiting think and think only about the Lord; leave your worries at home or give all your worries to the Lord: he will take care of everything: you have come to Almighty and Omnipresent: believe Him, He will relieve you of all the worries.

 

Remember the occasions, experience and feelings, when He met you in person through a person or an incident because that is His way and not in person: had it been so somebody would enslave Him like Ravana who wanted to take Lord Shiva with him to Lanka but failed: Lord is everybody not for some one: enjoy that pleasure of meeting Him again and again. Co-incidence is His way to remain anonymous.

 

Solitude means to be alone: for those who choose it with deliberate intent, be one's sole source of genuine pleasure. Some individuals seek solitude for discovering a more meaningful existence: in religious contexts, many preferred silence and found pleasure in their perceived uniformity with God: solitude and silence are spaces inhabited by God, and ability to recover ourselves and grow in humanity. Create a vacuum in your mind: that is the pleasure: He would be the first to enter because you have made a place for Him: Learn to enjoy solitude we have to be alone ultimately may be for a short period here; but the journey to His home is always alone and lonely.

 

Meditation: thought to be panacea for all stresses and unity with the Lord and the Nature: one may believe or not, fact remains in all the Dharmas commonly confused with religion, including the Sanatan the oldest of all Dharmas: Gods, Deities, Saints, Sages, Seers have engrossed themselves with the Lord through Meditation.  Lord Shiva, the earliest of Gods as people know Him remained engrossed in Lord Supreme for Years, Centuries, Yugs together: that way perhaps Meditation is a way to enrich yourself and reach Him, feel Him, while alive.

 

What is meditation? Can a person at 75+, attain this when he is always averse to learning and full of inertia at this age. Apparently appears impossible. But fact remains, one has lot of time and lesser involvement, it is only a bent of mind that is required to be slightly tilted towards Him. Fact is learning and creativity die only when a man dies: perhaps even at that time not because they are part of your inner conscience- the soul and not that of body which dies. Hence it is possible to do meditation even at 75+ and thereafter also. Think of your youth days when you had the climax sometimes more than once a day and sometimes at odd hours too like before going to your work place. Think of those few moments when nothing was visible and nothing was felt except your partner and the click nature gave you: both were supreme; most beautiful and pleasure giving: you wanted to retain that state as long as possible and you did try and in fact everybody tries: that is the Bliss may be short lived. Can one practically repeat those moments perhaps not physically because with age everything attains age and so become feeble. But memories always remain and one can relive if he so desires: fact is everybody wants to relive: may not admit that is separate issue: relive those memories and enjoy; away from stress and amid the happiness.

 

If you want to relive those memories you have to be alone; have to concentrate; have to travel back in time. Since physical portion is eliminated so one can substitute the Lord in place of a spouse; enjoy His company: feel His touch: love Him and chances are He would also reciprocate soon; sense He is reciprocating; the pleasure solace and satisfaction would be supreme and once felt will never go: that would be bliss; that is what meditation is. It is just a glimpse movie is yet to start.

 

How to be with the Lord that is the issue. There are thousands of the ways to reach as His names are. One such way is to recognize the greatest wonder of the world that is one is alive today: one is breathing without being aware and without effort. Recognize that wonder: the day it was given to you and the day it would be taken back from you: enjoyment lies between the two so be grateful to Him and remember Him, talk to Him and live with Him.

 

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."              

                                                                               Marcus Aurelius

 

I am grateful for being alive today. It is my joy and pleasure to live another wonderful day.

                                                                                 Louise Hay

 

Sit alone as comfortable as possible but remain active and alert otherwise comfort is likely to induce sleep and nothing can be done in sleep. Now concentrate on the wonder of breathing, breathing alone, nothing else. Most probably one won’t be able to concentrate as the mind is the fastest vehicle that can take you to places where actually you are not and one is not willing to go and would create a storm or say would revolt as it is being forced to concentrate only on one thing that is breathing: assure mind that you would take care of all those problems later on by writing these thoughts on a piece of paper or some other way as is convenient. Bring back concentration on breathing, slowly all the thoughts in your mind would be taken care of and it would learn to leave other things. This has to be practiced till the mind becomes your servant instead of being a master during the time you sit to enjoy concentration: one has to be at peace and harmony with himself: not any easy task: nobody has attained in one sitting our Saints and Seers meditated for years together before attaining the enlightenment. So practice sincere, persistent and as long as one can.

 

To be able to concentrate for a considerable time is essential to difficult achievement.

                                                                              -Bertrand Russell

 

For he who has no tranquility there is no concentration.              

                                                                               Bhagavad Gita

 

Another way with which all of us are familiar and adopt at home for a daily prayer to the Lord is easy to understand and perhaps implement too: normally we stand before our home temple where we have kept idols of our Lord in various forms; some people also light a flame Jyoti with crystallized butter and then perform worship for a minute or so and some do it for a longer period and perform other rituals also. Everybody adopts his own pattern. This has two important indications to concentrate one is the idol of Lord other is the Flame. One can adopt whatever he likes.

 

Take a small Idol of the Lord whom you believe: have faith as reliever of all worries or light a Candle or a Jyoti, Jot popularly called by many Indians: it is considered a symbol of presence of the Lord alive. Place either of them at eye level in a calm, clean, secluded place or a room in your home. Get up early in the morning at Amritvela when nature showers Amrit-nectar all round, anytime from 03.30 hrs. to 06.00 hrs. which has the least physical disturbances also, after washing your face and mouth at least, sit in a comfortable position if possible in a lotus position, facing east that has the benign power of rising Sun or the north that has the benign power of North Pole of earth magnet and keep a pencil and paper with you. If not possible to sit in lotus position sit in any comfortable position, remain physically active and mentally alert. Look at the idol or the candle continuously with reverence as if you are sitting before the Lord. Try to concentrate on the Lord, try to throw away all other thoughts-possibility is: you would not be allowed to do, all the problems would present themselves before you at that moment. Assure every problem to be looked into a little later and jot down obstinate ones on the piece of the paper you had kept with yourself. Continue to look at the Lord, bring back the attention again and again. Try to take image of the Lord Or Jyoti to your inside your heart, mind and soul be engrossed in that as much as possible, let there be only one thought; that of the Lord with you; let every other thing remain away; it requires lot of effort and time, practice and patience. Possibility is you would succeed. It is not one time, off on process: it is a journey continuous; enjoy it as much as you can, you have to feel Him once then Bliss continuous.

 

The fundamental is all the matter is composed of five basic elements — earth, water, fire, wind and space: this is true of earth or perhaps of some other planets in the Solar System: possibility of other elements being present on other planets and stars beyond the solar system can’t be ruled out it is perhaps true as Hindu Trinity- Brahma, Vishnu & Mahesh are beyond space and time. Space is the store-house all the energy and life on this planet and the Universe: it is the most important element of creation and when we create a space empty-vacuum no problems, no issues etc., in our mind, thinking and brain; that space is occupied immediately by energies from the space where belief is Lord resides and He does. Empty your mind, thinking and experience that flow of energy-pure and benign: you would be astonished, one would never like that flow to stop - super and superb. That is what meditation.

 

As soon as foetus has functional brain energy from the space enters that vacuum because it is thoughtless, problem less and issue less so the man is born. Nobody knows at what time this process takes place that is power supreme of the space and the Lord. Power,energy never leaves a vacuum.  

 

Fact is space is largest of all the five elements and limitless: is forceful: always in action and active: formation of stars and black-hole a continuous process as science knows. It is a home to Lord, souls and all supernatural powers, as believed by humans on the earth-perhaps somewhere else also if they exist and a home to different kinds of waves and rays a fraction of which has been discovered so far by man as radio wave, micro waves,  light wave, electro magmatic wave, ultra-violet, X-rays, gamma rays etc. Space provides man the fastest medium to travel not only around the earth but to other celestial bodies too and perhaps the fastest. Space is still unexplored; man has explored only a negligible fraction what does it more contain nobody knows.

 

As for science space has equally important place in the field of spirituality: Lord in Bhagavad Gita says that science can prove, discover and invent only what He wants science to do. That way science appears to be subordinate to spirituality and it appears logical too. So create a space in your thinking, mind and brain and then see the magic.     

 

Chanting the name of the Lord to reach Him, is a practice followed by most of the Dharmas and preached by all incarnations; is also the way of worship: this may be with beads or otherwise. Why to chant that is the question. Some chant it with voice and others are voiceless: some count others do not: counting is just for personal satisfaction: you have to chant His name always: Chants are power words and voices, they emit energy: immense, pure and benign. These have been  created by Saints, seers, sages and those who were blessed with His power by spending long periods of research and tested in practice unlimited number of times all over the world. They are the gifts to the present generation and effective in the way and manner they are chanted and repeated: may help to reach Him.

 

Chant whatever Name of the Lord you like; it would be effective in as many respects as one wants, if one is fully involved, have full faith and belief that it is cure for all his ills. If that be so, they keeps us away from all the vices at least during the time one is chanting that name and if you are fully absorbed in Him not only in His name it may eliminate all thoughts from your thinking for the time being and create a vacuum of worldly thoughts in your mind that is the aim of every meditation and Samadhi even once achieved is a bliss that seldom leaves.

 

Religious chants always create positivity in all the directions and actions. Chanting has the advantage of being performed at any time, any place or in any manner without being tied in a specific pattern or rituals. Chanting can continue throughout the day with voice or without voice: that way it is better than meditation for which one has to have separate time and space.

 

Another reason when a person is called with a loud voice the voice travels a distance and if the person happens to listen normally responds: thereafter that voice becomes part of the Universe and continue to move in the space. Similarly if your voice is listened by the Lord, He would definitely respond as the Lord is Omnipresent so is the voice created by incarnations of the Lord when they came to this earth. Lord Himself is beyond space and time.

 

Chant any name of the Lord you believe in, it becomes melodious as you start repeating it. More you do chanting more melodious it becomes and more you enjoy.

 

What is the power of Lord’s name? The process of chanting the holy name of the Lord is so powerful that by this chanting even householders can very easily gain the ultimate result achieved by persons in the renounced order. 

                                                                                                              Lord Krishna

 

75 +, age =

Health and Spirituality.

Take care and be happy.

 

Stress of Being a Leader

                                         

                                        Stress of Being a Leader

 

"You cannot make progress without making decisions."

                                                                              Jim Rohn

 

After having passed Union Public Service Commission’s Limited Departmental Competitive Examination for Section Officers, I was posted in the Philately Branch of the Department of Post, in the background whispered in corridors that my predecessor had sought voluntary retirement to avoid regular departmental action as he could not keep track of an assurance given in the Parliament and the Department had to face embarrassing situation there. So I was little afraid and cautious too that put me in alert mode perhaps of the highest order. After two three days of my joining as Section Officer, all the dealing hands applied for leave except the one dealing hand lower division clerk and one Assistant Superintendent of Post Offices: thus out of nine, seven asked for leave. Proposition was critical. I was perplexed what to do and what not to do. I thought, if I refuse leave it will have to be for everyone and that would invite irk of all and their presence would be forced, they would spoil more and dispose of less and if I grant that would make management of work difficult being I had not mastered the things. In the evening, I returned application of everyone and went out of the Section without saying anything and when I came back told everybody to rewrite the application with the maximum extended period of leave they intended to take; a few amended their applications. After collecting revised applications, I told them everybody’s leave is sanctioned: they have to join on expiry of leave period otherwise rules will have their way. Dealing Clerk who had not applied for leave was too afraid. After everybody had gone, he came running to say that work in the Section is time bound: can’t be postponed even for a day, so we have to be cautious. Next day reached office a little early and asked that Dealing Hand present to place on my table all files and papers of the Assistant who had taken minimum leave. It took me 2-3 days to dispose of all his papers and files and while doing so prepared a list of papers which had been delayed than the prescribed period. When the concerned Assistant returned from leave; no action was taken against him for delay in submission of the cases but was told that delay has happened for the last time. Similar procedure was followed in case of others. This exercise gave me knowledge of seat of each and every dealing hand and put me firmly in the saddle and had the smooth sailing till I was selected as Desk Officer in Vigilance Branch after four years. This is how I learnt my first lesson in leadership.

 

Lessons were clear, determined, learnt hard way. Leadership is the name of realization of the fact of taking responsibility and discharging the same meticulously yourself; more you honour this fact lesser are the chances of things getting out of control, as you would take action to fulfill the duties and responsibilities entrusted or thrust upon you. In fact, in ideal circumstances a leader is fountain head of decision making and action-honest and selfless; as people see and believe him.

 

Decision taking-making is an asset, if you can decide, otherwise it is a stress; more you linger on, more you suffer. It is an activity that precedes action. It is a faculty, Lord has given perhaps more to human beings; sometimes it is built in your personality and character - courage, conviction, wisdom, prudence, capacity to work hard, learning from criticism, physical fitness  otherwise you can learn it through its attributes - skills, knowledge, analysis, experience, precedences, education, instinct to learn from others and the history. It is not everybody’s cup of tea, to decide and every decision can’t be right or wrong: without a decision one can’t move further. No decision is big or small. A small decision may change your life and big inappropriate may ruin your life and the situation. Taking decision is important, other things follow automatically. Decision making is a journey not a destination, a journey alone, lonely and with accountability; it is not something rigid and solid, it is flexible and amendable, solid is the target where one wants to land after taking a decision. Always remember once you decide, it evokes the desire to reach the destination fast; efforts and action with permutations and combinations thereof, and determination follows. Decision is the start- professional, pure, transparent and positive, better start is half done. Every decision is positive for the man who has to decide. Even fighting a war is positive, it is most of the times to save the unity and integrity of a nation. Decision taking is a pious activity, one helps Him to discharge the functions He has planned to be executed through you: so if you decide to take care of others you are already taken care of by Him. So decide, decide and decide and proceed.  

 

Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen.

                                                                        Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

People always lead people: fundamentally biologically all are equal in the matters of emotions, requirements, mental faculties, basic physical activities too etc differences are only of degree not of division; so treat your people the way you would like you to be treated by others: People are better understood as friends than as subordinates or followers. Take care of the people and people will take care of you. Be with your men in difficult times: that way you build the road to lead.

 

A leader leads a group, an organization; no person can lead alone: it is always a team work: together everyone achieves more that is what a team is: lead without imposing: get done the way you like; make the things that the group likes and loves to do, the way you like them to do. Action should be collective, individual action seldom succeeds exceptions are always there. Always remember a leader is one among equals and not the first among equals that way he becomes the boss – something inferior to the leader and leadership.  

 

Honour all your commitments, even if they are insignificant and not important and those which are in favour of work culture may be against the individuals. Individuals are always important because every work is to be got done through them but they are not above task objectives. Be known that you keep the promises that is pleasure for you and others and a way to be stress free: be a man of commitment.

 

Time management plays an important role in honouring the commitments. Honour the time it will honour you and your commitments and you need not see the schedule again and again because one would always be ahead of the time fixed. One must understand that a day at the constant speed of the earth is of 24 hours, you can make it of 26 hours or 20 hours by varying the speed of your performance. So learn how to move with the work instead of the earth.

 

Action: execution: performance: delivery is the crux of all existence on this planet: everybody has to do some task not only animals but also other living things like plants, trees and also the non-living things like rocks and sand. Nothing is constant but the change is. Action is supreme test of a leader: even Lord Krishna in Gita mentioned as follows:

 

Whatever action is performed by great man, common men follow in his footsteps and whatever standards he sets by his exemplary acts, all the world pursues.

                                                                               Bhagwad Gita

 

It is the action: the most important and impressive tool in management; that sets examples and the standards and while doing so follow the Lord by His dictate:

 

You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.

                                               Bhagavad Gita, Chapter II, Verse 47

 

One must ensure that he takes positive action that brings fruits to reach the target: negative action whatsoever evokes only negative response; may be fruitful to some extent in short term: in the long run it will have its natural course of negativity as it keeps simmering the flame of revenge somewhere; hence can’t be productive. Replace negative thoughts and action with positive thoughts and action, one will have positive results hence nearer to the goal and equipped to lead. Positivity is convincing, assertive, prevails the logic easier, obstinates turn around: an action with no stress; transparent, open without fear. Positivity is the key to many difficult issues and a stress reliever.

 

Play the game of action well: goals and targets would reach you themselves: if one concentrates on goals game would be spoiled; targets would get farther and farther. Action makes the heap non-existent and inaction makes a heap solid and slippery. In public service, principle is dispose of a paper otherwise it will dispose you of. Action makes one the master and no-action makes one the servant. Preparation is important- it can make tough exam paper easy and results better and bright.

 

Action with your hands, yourself and that too of the lowest employee; the last follower, gives the leader the best of experience and inside into the intricacies of the team task. A leader is the man who is a substitute for every worker when need arises without disturbing the schedule of others. Leader is a prism that emits only that colour which is needed to save and solve a situation.

 

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”

                                                                            ―Thomas Jefferson

 

Appreciation is the best management and leadership tool and trait. Appreciate ideas, analysis, views, emotions, problems, apprehensions, hardships, opinions, ways of working of others-yours followers, team members, workers, family members,  vendors, sellers all others interested, they will shower best of theirs for your consideration. It is also a tool of critical analysis and in-depth knowledge. Take care of your critics, they provide most valuable advice, look into intentions not the words and volume of voice.

 

Appreciation is always the enemy of ego: more the appreciation lessor the ego and vice-versa. Appreciation is also a tool of spiritual attainment and we believe that invokes His blessings always. Appreciate from the core your heart not perfunctory and no sycophancy: He understands the difference: they would also understand as they have His element in them. Genuine and real appreciation is always spontaneous real: it bursts from inside, do not withhold at that time you, if one withholds he would be acting against the nature: appreciation always for the cause and action: from the core of the heart.    

 

Initiation of action is always pulled back by inertia and the human nature to throw the responsibility on somebody else, postpone to some other time: at the same time unless one initiates nothing can be achieved. Start of action is always difficult, one has to commence from the scratch, have to be original, independent and of his own. One must get rid of inertia, start action here and right now: throw away the fear of failure and being criticized by others: one never fails it is FIRST ATTEMPT IN LEARNING, do it once more: when it is the first and last attempt like in a stage performance it is the courage, confidence, preparation and the prudence that matters most among other things: the way to motivate the people to perform and perform better. It automatically makes one a leader. Great leaders don’t tell you what to do: they show you how it’s done: that is the real initiation.

 

“God provides the wind, but man must raise the sails.”

                                                                                ―St. Augustine

 

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

                                                                          ―Dale Carnegie

 

"Decision is the spark that ignites action. Until a decision is made nothing happens."

                                                                          Wilferd Peterson

 

Resources: men, material, money, technology, methods, power, environment, approvals, circumstances, environment, anything which helps you to reach, even the advice and guidance and above all the time, even one’s own effort etc are always limited can’t be enhanced, altered or changed overnight: can always be managed over a period of time: but situations are not uncommon when demands are made on leaders to deal with extraordinary emergencies: hence the need to adjust the resources as per the needs. Leaders must change with the time, assess the future demands, implications as accurately as possible, must know deeply the internal resources and external sources to meet emergent circumstances and always be resourceful. Resources and sources under one’s control are the assets and with others seldom available at the crucial hour so depend on what one has.

 

While performing always use organizational resources not personal ones; as the organization is supreme not the leader. Personal resources may help to tide over a situation once or twice but in the long-run it will damage the organizational discipline and decorum and set a bad precedent for your successors.

 

Organizations are perennial: except for specific short term goal or task: leaders are not: nobody has been at the top always: they have to leave with the passage of time. Most of the organizations are for human welfare: may be for earning profit: they provide employment to many and earn dividend and profit for others: hence above leaders. These have to be protected, preserved and developed: whosoever heads these must prepare somebody who can take over after him; this task is pious, must be performed with organizational benefit as supreme. No society can provide its citizens the best quality of life unless it has effective organization; take care of organizations they will take care of all of us.

 

Daring and different are the two most important words that must find a place in the dictionary of leaders. These are two words that help one to meet a challenge: vow to do under all odds like army war orders. These are not overnight qualities: they require knowledge, skill, experience, exposure and above all capacity and courage to take risk. It can be a learning processes or learnt exposure and expression.

 

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

                                                                                    Pablo Picasso

 

Hard decisions are fundamental to discipline and decorum, they require seniors to follow established principles of public life: integrity, honesty, devotion, transparency, public welfare, be above board etc. and not be guided and impressed by compassion, individual gain and circumstances. It is requires clarity of thought, values to live with and aims of the organization above all strength of the character, otherwise it would put one under great stress on the question to do or not to do.

 

"Shelving hard decisions is the least ethical course."

                                                                                 Adrian Cadbury

 

Your emotions are making it difficult for you to accept hard decisions.

                                                                                 John C Maxwell

It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.

                                                                                   Roy E. Disney

 

A leader must be the master of the skill of communication: not only speaking but also of listening: a skill which is more difficult to learn than speaking. One must speak in such a way that the people like to listen and one must listen in such a way that the people like to speak: must keep manners, tone, tenor, pitch, volume, vocabulary soft and polished and still in the language and manner understood by the receiver of the information.

 

Leadership is not a position; it is a privilege given by the Lord to serve others: you may be at whatever level, always have an opportunity to serve, at least the people whom you lead and sometimes those who have been neglected at one stage or the other. One can serve anywhere, anytime, anyone, at any place and even at a place where there is no body apparently: serve the nature, serve Him, and above all service yourself- be at peace, empty you mind, try to create internal vacuum so that He can come sit and talk to you, absorb yourself in yourself, talk to yourself, realize yourself biggest of the service on can do etc. Position to serve is a gift of Lord – honour His gift and the position you are occupying-President, Prime Minister, Chief Minister, Judge, Examiner, even a head of a small group: a Teacher in a school, every leader is His descendant, He governs the whole Universe and leaders anywhere govern a part of it may be insignificant and unknown to the governor and being governed. It is sin to malign what He has gifted. Service is the prescribed motto of a leader: that is what Devon Ke Dev Mahadev Lord Shiva told us in all His preachings and whatever He did was for the welfare of the mankind and also for individual satisfaction of those who were full of ego and every time these people proved wrong. Lead the people with service they should feel having come to the right person in case they approach in their difficult times: don’t exploit their miseries mitigate them to maximum: they should have father figure like feeling in you: father an institution of guidance and advice the supreme and always.

                                  

Frustration the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something is the opposite of achievement smooth: a way of life, a result of action as well as no action: it signifies   nothing happening as planned, results not as expected; everything   upside down, stress, slips, issues, generates thoughts to give up, may lead to suicidal tendencies and in some cases it does, bolt from the blue: negativity all-round that is what frustration is normally known. In any life situation frustration is not uncommon, it is more so in leadership: where you are the chief or head like your own family, even otherwise also. How to overcome: nobody has ready-made solution. Strength of character; belief in almighty and self-efforts are the wonder weapons to fight it out. Rationality of thinking, courage, confidence and patience are other savers. In fact, frustration is symptom only, disease lies somewhere else. Every problem has a life span, even if one does not address, it gets its due, may be in your favour or against. Some problems are addressed better if not responded. Try to find out the root cause, it may be hidden, a friend acting as a foe, your understanding of the issue is not detailed and has no depth or it is just over-confidence, continue the journey slow and steady with eyes and ears wide open, one may stumble the real cause solution too. Consider frustration as a friend. It comes to you to transform you into a better person. Feeling frustrated is quite normal, which can be due to work stress or dissatisfaction from self and people around. So, talk things out. Frustration is a teacher in taxing time: one must reap the harvest, need not collect the weeds after the harvest has been reaped by somebody else. Frustration is mine of ideas, innovation and creativity, one has to dig it, in dark, deep and hard. It is just like the journey through hard time one has to continue. Frustration is perhaps a signal from the Almighty just to stop, slow down and watch how things move for some time and catch the opportune moments. Don’t give up that is the message hidden and clear too, it is upto the individual himself the most important cause and effect. Frustrate the frustration.

 

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

                                                                                   Bo Bennett

 

You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.

                                                                                

                                                                                   Ralph Marston

 

“Undisputed leader” is the dream of every one who leads, but nobody has so far been: simply because we are human being not perfect beings. Fact is, everybody has his own way to lead; his preferences, priorities, values, alignments, leanings, strengths and weaknesses : may be tolerated as a respect and regard; differences are always there may be big enough for creating a rift or may be small but simmering. Leader should always be alert to the voices of dissent and correct himself in the interest of larger goals. Reconsideration is always a tool to correct and zero budgeting that is to rethink and review right from the beginning is one of the best.

 

Negotiations: transparent, open, honest, with complete knowledge of issue, respect for the opinion of others, appreciation of real facts, with cool temperament: are the essence of all business and disputes: table is always important. Never fear the negotiations but never negotiate out of fear. Negotiations are for building bridges not; for burning bridges; negotiation is a process of compromise: give and take; neither for give alone nor for take alone: it must produce a wise agreement and build relations stronger than before. It is win-win for both parties; nobody is a loser. To negotiate is a skill which has to be developed; an art to learn to lead; generally it is not inherited however some people are very good at negotiating table while others are not. Negotiations are for peace and tranquility: all of us made of: made for; love to live with. Always discuss the issues, problems not the persons negotiating: they are just tools not the essence. Always discuss with the person who can decide then and there otherwise it is just an exercise: prelude to negotiations: frustrating process. There is always better alternative than a negotiated agreement; continue the process as it is the only process that is positive and fruitful.

Never lose your goodwill for small issues and concessions: goodwill is an asset that adds slowly but melts quickly: has a place in the thinking of the persons with whom you deal: goodwill is another brand: in fact it is a super brand:  a small sacrifice would ensure many concessions and gains in long run.

 

“Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.”

                                                                                – Dean Acheson  

 

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.”

                                                                                   – Brian Koslow

 

All men make mistakes: a leader is no exception. All genuine mistakes teach and give experience: intentionally made mistakes are mischievous, they expose must be dealt with heavy hand and the rules if need be. One should always honour mistakes and accept them with a view to correct if possible: that gives strength and genuineness to the men who you lead. A true leader is one who is humble enough to admit their mistakes and strong enough not to repeat them.

 

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

                                                                                  Alexander Pope

 

Leader is the epitome of the confidence reposed by the group, team, people and in fact by the Almighty the Greatest of the Leaders: the Creator, the Operator and the Maintainer of the Universe; everybody does not get to this position, so think to lift those who are behind and along with you with your presence and thereafter; relieve others of stress, make them happy and be happy: forget yourself, your person and family and their interests : if you are capable to do so, there no stress, it is pleasure, satisfaction, solace, sense of achievement and having done it and many more things you never dreamt of.  Try to find your place. If you feel you have the ability to lead; be led by your conscious - right in direction and decision. Great leaders don’t set out to be a leader: set out to make a difference - never about the role but the goal.

 

The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude;be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.

                                                                                                  Jim Rohn