Stress and Joy of Living in Builder’s Flat

 

Stress and Joy of Living in Builder’s Flat

 

“A house is made with walls and beams;

a home is built with love and dreams.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

The Lord was bountiful, He showered on us His blessings: we were allotted a residential plot of land by a Govt. Agency, during the days of National Emergency of 1975 - 1977, when everybody was afraid of Govt. action against the black money, whereas we supported this purchase from savings in a Bank account, loan from the Office Thrift and Credit Society and of course advance from general provident fund. Before formalities for possession and registration were completed, we were very excited, so we went to see our plot of land as we were given a specific number and colony name: after walking for a kilometer or so through the fields that had been harvested we reached our site, it was so satisfying to walk on the land that belonged to us. Since the plot was part of agricultural land, everybody was possessive and wanted to know how to identify our plot which had been marked by building of front roads, service lanes and electricity underground lines and connection boxes, water and sewer lines not visible, of course the pillars here and there, still everyone wanted to have our own identification mark and ultimately a shallow pit in the rear of our plot was identified as our own identification mark.

 

This was the first step for building a house in Delhi and that too in a Govt. approved colony. What a blessing it was. I tried my best to secure a house building advance from Govt. but could not succeed. Started construction of my house with my savings, loans from the Thrift and Credit Society, provident fund and  friendly loans from my known persons but excluding relatives and gold loan which has its own story: we had applied for just Rs.5000/- loan against the gold we possessed but when the application reached the dealing hand, in the Head Quarter of the Bank, he informed that gold was sufficient to provide collateral security for a loan of Rs.25,000/- so we requested him to process the case for sanction of Rs.25000/- loan and it was sanctioned, it was a windfall and took care of many of our worries. Construction of the house was completed passing through financial constraints and during the process I lost my father who was supervising the construction it was a big shock the nature had given. As soon as construction was over we became house owners from a tenant and the new house   became our home, we immediately shifted to our home from a rented accommodation: we did not share our home with others for a rent although we were short of money: but my wife’s salary, her resources and loans from the GPF and Thrift and Credit, in quick succession helped us a lot to overcome the financial difficulties.

 

Subsequently, rules were changed and Govt. allowed individual plot holders building of four floors of lower height with parking on the ground floor and a must lift facility.  This created a lot of opportunities for those who wanted to use their property by a surrender of part of their ownership rights. Such people became flat owners from land owners and sometimes a start of many problems which they earlier never faced. We did not go for his floor system and continue to be single owner.

 

There were many financial models to support such structures in addition to total financial support by the plot owner. One such option that became prevalent more was that construction contractors took possession of one floor and built whole of the building with men and material and sometimes with fixtures also, whereas some contractors gave some cash also, to the person who was the owner of the plot. The such contactor would sell his share floor for a price not known to anybody. This had number of infirmities financial, legal, tax, ownership and in day to day maintenance. Contractors were never in the picture and they made plot owner party in all financial and legal transactions and earned without a responsibility and after sale of their portion they were free of all responsibilities with pockets currency notes full and that too without any liability  for payment of any tax which was the liability of original plot owner who sold the flat as per the paper  transaction.

 

Irrespective of the above, these structure ideally became community living for four families sharing common entrance, parking, stairs, lifts, light in parking, ground water, listening cries of distress and cheers of joys much earlier than the relatives of each occupant, became partners in functions and sorrows and also shared number and name of the place, saying good morning first and good evening last of all to each other. They are jointly responsible for freshness of the common areas and also the surroundings. They are the closest neighbours living on the same plot of land.

 

Practically many other things affected living in these apartments, like realization of responsibilities of community living, demand for more rights, nature and social fabric of the families, financial status, lack of coordination, no mechanism to solve small disputes, age group of family members, nuisance value how it is imposed on others and still many other things that become reality when dealing with each other. In fact, many took these floors as free of everything as opposed to cooperative group housing society flats which are regulated by the Apartment Owners’ Association who charge monthly maintenance from each flat; which are better regulated although difficulties are also there.  

 

Since all the four families are not connected directly with the mother earth - natural bad conductor of electricity, many of the residents face higher issues of irritation, anger, petty quarrels, tension, stress, anxiety, unnecessary hurry, fears and off moods. Loneliness is another issue for many generated by the atmosphere of being inside and continuous irritating sounds of gadgets like air-conditioners, heaters, fans, doors, microwave oven, tinkle of phones and dirty utensils and of course seeing the same faces for days together, situation worsens if one is not keeping good health and still more if suffering from chronic diseases.

 

"For the first time, I lived alone... in a luxury apartment on Sunset Strip. For a few days I loved the idea, but I got lonely and restless." 

                                                                               Patty Duke

 

Many of the occupants of these apartments floors see only the ceilings sometimes with lizards and insects and not the roofs with open air, sunshine and chirping of the birds, beautiful trees, sunrise and sunsets as most of the builders flats have covered space more than the imagination in their hunger to cover as much as possible legally or illegally and in the process have blocked fresh air and sunshine inside these flats. Stair cases and lifts are the darkest places in builder’s flats. Things become still worse if the occupants are facing financial constraints which for obvious reasons all of them face, having spent their whole life saving for purchase of the floor. Things become acute when some of the occupants have no reason to move out, like house wives, senior citizens, patients, pandemic restrictions and necessities  and of course the introvert nature and no emotions to what is happening in the surroundings nature etc.

 

Two daily chores: drying of clothes and small purchases are the activities to watch in these floors. Many floors have no space to dry the washed clothes, so balconies and strings outside are used for the purpose and for small purchases of paper, milk, butter, bread, fruit, vegetables etc it is long rope with a bucket attached to it that is used to get the things done.

 

In flats, there are no next door neighbours, it is door below or up neighbours, your kitchen is below some body’s kitchen and your bath room is above some body’s bathroom and below another owner’s bath room. They are, in fact different type of the neighbours, when somebody goes to bathroom at night, the person below sleeping in his bed room comes to know of and sometimes it is so irritating that sleep is broken. People are, in fact more intimately integrated in flats than in plots, hence the need is about residing in your home in such a way that it doesn’t interfere with anyone else and when it so interferes for reasons beyond one’s control one has to also extend boundless co-operation. If this does not happen which is more a reality, it creates atmosphere of constant question and quarrel leading to police, court and social issues.

 

"We all have neighbors. Greet them on the sidewalk or in the elevator, but try not to peer through their windows. Windows are to look out from, not into."

                                                                 - Alexandra Stoddard

 

Fact of the matter is builders’ flats are much more than a mini co-operative group housing society, being just four families one above the other, ideally speaking they should live more in harmony and cooperation than the society flats, ideally like a bigger family. Alas they live like that only.

 

"We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour."

                                                                 Gilbert K. Chesterton

 

May your new home be,

Blessing to you and all who enter it.

Stress No, Joy Full On Seeing A Click of Parents Pitrapaksh

Stress No, Joy Full

On Seeing A Click of Parents

Pitrapaksh

 

“Love your parents and treat them with loving care. For you will only know their value when you see their empty chair.”

 

Yesterday, I had been to my brother’s place, after four-five years and could not locate his house in his colony at the first instance, it was only after a tinkle to him we reached the location. My younger brother, my replica at first sight for many, even within those few hours of my stay two three persons were unable to find out who is who and some clearly told “yes” by appearance we are brothers.

 

I was accompanied by my son and daughter-in-law, while they were busy with their Chacha and Chachi to take their guidance and help for the endeavours to establish their brand of jute handicrafts and repair of some left overs of the previous years, these were more a technical discussions, so I was more a listener than anything else, I had nothing to do, just looking at walls and trying to find out what had changed after my previous visit some four-five years back. My usual time pass - their grandchildren were not there as they had gone outstation to their mother’s parents for a short visit. It took some time before the tea with Namkeens was offered to us. As soon tea came, I started sipping, was perhaps first to finish as I like extremes may it be hot tea or a cold coffee: hot should be really hot and cold should make you shiver. While I was munching salty snacks with lot of asafoetida, I came across a photograph of my father perhaps a bigger version of some passport size – the most formal pose, photo prepared for his pension papers, it gave me no joy.

 

Then I saw on the wall just on my left side at about seven feet height a black and white, glass framed picture of my father and mother, a click which I had not seen earlier although I have one of their photographs with me also. It gave me lot of joy that it had not been garlanded in a usual manner which normally indicates the departed souls, this without garland gave us a feeling that they are still with us to guide and direct the right way. So many people were sitting around; many were strangers, but I kept gazing at the frame; I had not seen such a beautiful face of my mother earlier with  a shawl wrapped up to her neck that enhanced the contours of her face made them prominent, her hair style real Punjabi oldie without any colour,  in fact she never used any colour, so was her adherence not to use any cosmetics: in life of about sixty six years when we lived together I never saw her using any cosmetic except Mehndi and bangles on occasions like “Karva Chauth” and marriage anniversaries and birthdays were not known in those days truth is many did not know the exact date of their birth. Her Mehndi used to be simple, she would place a mount of Mehndi on her palm and close the fist in the next morning that would give beautiful dark red pattern. In this click she was wearing her ear-wear, golden “Balian”- a circular piped ring with a diameter of more than an inch that was her usual ear wear and her golden nose pin. She did wear necklace but that is not visible in this click, I still remember she had one necklace and a pendant on which Lord Krishna’s image was inscribed.  Her face had so much of grace and glow, and it was bubbling out in this click. I must thank the man who produced such an excellent photograph of my mother. It was a feast to see her.

 

Tried my best to gaze constantly the face of my father: his full beard and moustaches, broad face sharp features, wearing a turban same Patiala style sober and sharp, he used to wear light yellow colour turban. The click shows him in a shirt and coat; his usual wear in winters. He never wore trousers, he was a Pyjama man with leather shoes. He normally wore white clothes shirt and Pyjama in Indian style. In this click he was without coloured beard which he left  many years back although he coloured his beard for many years. His face had the grace of truth and contentment. A person of modest means yet he was always happy and within those he performed marriages of five of us in his life time and two of us were married after he had left for his heavenly abode. He was a personality well known in the markets of city of Bathinda although at humble position, this was perhaps because of his habit of greeting everybody.

 

In this click both of them are with real photographer’s smile, calm, quiet and peaceful. My father was a content person and all his sons and daughter have been gifted by him this trait, all of us although passed through the different stages of the career and time but has always remained content with whatever came to our lot and always tried to advance in life but have never been unhappy with what Lord showered on us.

 

When I asked my brother for a copy of the click, he simply said that he got this done from a photographer after merging two different clicks. Then we wanted to take a photo from that frame but could not because of glass reflection. Then we removed the glass also but even then it could not be taken because the photo paper was glossy.

Ultimately, I said perhaps they are not willing to go with us at present, we will request them some other day. However, whatever it was we took a snap and stored in our cell.

 

“No matter how far we come, our parents are always in us.”                   

                                                                           – Brad Meltzer

 

“One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad.”

                                                                              – Jim DeMint

 

Stress Nil Joy Full of Having Lord Ganesh At Our Home

 

Stress Nil Joy Full of Having Lord Ganesh At Our Home

 

Ganesh Chaturthi, a festival celebrating the birth of Lord Ganesha as the Elephant Headed God as He is widely worshipped throughout India: the Swastika of rituals of all religious functions and worships. Our family like millions brought a raw grey clay idol of Lord Ganesh to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi at home, every day, till immersion. Every homes decides immersion - Visarjan – as popularly called, as per their own choice but final takes place eleven days after installation.

 

Before the Lord, duly wrapped in a red cloth and pious red yellow thread “Khamani”, stepped out of His cab, we were ready to receive Him in the traditional Punjabi style saying, “Jee Aaiyna Noo”, and with sprinkle of mustard oil on both sides of the first entry to our home - the main gate – a sign of honour among people in my state of Punjab. He was seated in our drawing room specially prepared for the occasion for Him. Since He came late at night, he slept as wrapped the whole night.

 

Next was the day of installation, it was to be done by all family members: seniors were on fast till He was installed. We prepared a special pedestal for Him about three feet plus high – Higher than anybody sitting on the floor or the sofa: and decorated it with the sacred “Chunnies” – ladies long scarfs, the family members had received on various religious occasions from the temples and Jagrats – whole night chanting of the name of the Goddess - all in red, pink, yellow and violet colours. Lord was seated on the pedestal, first “Khamani” was removed and then red cloth was removed: as soon as He appeared everybody greeted Him with folded hands and chanting the words. “Jai Ganesh”. He had beautiful attire in bluish green colour.  He was given a symbolic bath by sprinkling water, given clothes to wear by offering one “Jenoo” – the scared thread around his neck: given a make-up “Shingar” by a red forehead mark with “sindhoor” and fixing some rice grains thereon. A small bundle of fresh green grass was also placed on Him as He is harbinger of good, peace, growth, prosperity and development. He is also “Pratham Pujya”- to be worshipped first of all.  Pious Flame “Jayoti” and Dhoop was also lighted and a Satsvika with sindoor prepared in a pan, a betal leaf and an areca nut was also placed in the pan as religious offering. He was garlanded with marigold flowers necklace and rose petals were showered on Him. All present, were given Tilak-forehand mark with Sindoor and a pious thread was also tied to the wrist of all. Then all of us sung an Aarti and everybody had a wish to repeat silently to Him. Modaks-Laddoos made of milk solids and also of gram flour were offered to Him along with dry fruits and seasonal fruits. Full meal with the request to honour us by taking food was also placed before Him and He was prayed with folded hands to enjoy it. A portion of the meal offered to Him was mixed with meals prepared at home. We had fixed a person to take the full meal on behalf of the Lord. We also took our meals in His presence.

 

In the evening He was offered tea like any other person in our family as he had become part of it so was the process for dinner. Every time He is offered something a temple bell was rung as a signal that food or tea etc has been placed for Him. At 10.30 PM we sought His permission to sleep and one of us slept on the sofa or the carpet in front of His pedestal. Some water, fruits, Modaks - Laddoos of special shape, sweets and dry fruits were also placed before Him lest He feels hunger at night.

 

It was our endeavor not to leave Him alone at any time: this effort proved a blessing, after installation He had become a living Lord ready to listen prayers made. It  was for the person concerned how effectively he communicates with Him; senior were so happy to talk to Him, others offered Him tea, chocolate whatever they were eating, some were seeking his advice on any matter they liked as openly as we talk to each other. Our house had the fragrance of a temple, restraints of a religious place and so was the routine. It was quite pleasing and satisfying too. A living Deity at Home what a wonderful idea: possible in India only.

 

Presence of the Lord had a wonderful effect on the food being prepared in the home: no garlic, no onions, no non-veg: all satavic food full of Hing- Asafoetida, Zeera- Cumin seeds, tomatoes and pure desi ghee: much tastier than the usual one and that too without any stomach issues. This reduced toxin in the body.

 

Another wonder aspect of his presence was that my mother-in-law about ninety always complaining of some discomfort because of so many ailments she is suffering  from and also the biggest ailment of life the old age, remained healthy and happy without any complaints. She could walk from bed room to drawing room where Lord was sitting with His pump and show and recited Aarti every time it was sung. All members of the family remained so cool and healthy during his presence. In addition, everybody remained in positive mood without any bickering. Time was passing quick and fast, my self being the senior most called the Lord by His name Ganesha, every time something was to be done, so during His presence all things went the right and responsible way. He was invited for everything even for taking water and munching some savory snacks and also for lifting heavy luggage etc., simply because he was part and parcel of our family.

 

Anybody coming to our home was seeking His blessings first and Prasad also. There was a short duration Kirtan-chanting of songs in praise of the Lord next day of His installation that made many emotional. After Aarti, Prasad was offered to the Lord and thereafter distributed to all who were present, some quick snacks were also served because of Corona.

 

We had planned His stay at our home for four days and three night but it appeared He was too busy so, He forced us to reduce his stay to three days and two nights. So we had to prepone His Visarjan. It was to be done at home as already planned.

 

We started the rituals as we thought fit nothing exactly known to us from the scripture or from the priests and as if a person from the family is going for an outstation to come back after sometime. Lord was given a bath, a forehead mark and full meal: a prayer was recited in His honors; then taken from His throne; placed on the head of our grand-daughter and circulated in every nook and corner of the house so that He blesses everything and removes all the negativity. Before immersion water in big tub was purified with Ganga-Jal, Rose Petals and curd was rubbed on Lords body and then with all humility He was gently placed in the water filled tub, we remained sitting near Him till He was fully submerged in water and  we were chanting “Ganpati Bappa Maurya, Aagle Varse tu Jaldi Aa”. It was an emotional scene, made eyes of everybody moist.

 

Om Gan Ganapatay Namo Namah!

Shri Siddhivinayak Namo Namah!

Asta Vinayak Namo Namah!

Ganapati Bappa Moraiya!

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken (Lesson V) (Integrity and Career)

 

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken

(Lesson V)

(Integrity and Career)

Integrity is doing the right thing,

even when no one is watching.

 C. S. Lewis

 

It was almost lunch time, meal boxes had already been placed in the hot case, on an autumn afternoon a few decades back, when my help in office entered my room hurriedly to tell that one of our officers was being brought from the road side tea shop to the room of the head of office, both his shoulders held by two unknown persons and tightly escorted by four-five other persons not belonging to our office, as if something serious had happened. Subsequently, it transpired that an officer had been caught red handed while taking bribe money, by an anti-corruption agency, on a trap laid down by the agency on the information supplied by the person from whom money was demanded by the officer concerned for doing some official work which otherwise was the duty of the officer caught to be performed in the normal course. Result was while in the room of the head of office, he was arrested then and there, made to sit on the floor like a criminal  and forced him to take out his clothes which were got sealed for producing them as evidence in the Court and he was standing in a vest and underwear in a most embarrassing manner. The Officer arranged some clothes for him. Next day he was produced in the Court  : when he was told by the Court that this is a bail able offence and he can make arrangement for person who would stand surety for him and execute bond papers etc. he simply told the Court that  no local person would stand surety for him and he will have to wait for arrival of his father-in-law who was also a Govt. employee but at an out station and in the days to come the surety came and he got the bail but it took a week before he was out of the jail. He fought this case in the Court of law for almost two decades and was ultimately awarded the punishment of imprisonment for five years. In departmental disciplinary proceedings on the same set of circumstances he was dismissed from service.

 

Just see, this is what the integrity, if not maintained, can do. The officer lost his honour, integrity, respect, regards, awards, job, became a person of doubtful integrity, labeled as corrupt officer, earned a court case, a departmental case, expenditure to fight these cases and his monthly income got stopped, tension, stress, irritation, quarrels at home, his wife was unable to explain to his kids what their father had done, even friends deserted him and he became a suspicious man in his known circles, financially in ruins, in few minutes and for few chips to which he was not legally entitled . When he was caught red handed he was shabbily treated by the officers of the anti-corruption agency in their attempt to collect on the spot evidence and to demoralize him. In the heart of his heart, he must have experienced himself as a guilty conscience.  

 

Know how to maintain integrity: To understand as how to maintain integrity one must know clearly what integrity is. Dictionary defines integrity as adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character and honesty. Dictionary defines conscience as a person's moral sense of right and wrong. There is a very strong relationship between integrity and conscience which has to be understood to become a person of “integrity” not of “Doubtful Integrity”. In fact, both integrity and conscience are the two sides of the same coin of the adorable character. When we say “He is a man of integrity” or “He is a man of conscience”, it is more than enough to describe the person and his character. Among many other ways to define distinction between ‘doubtful’ and ‘beyond doubt’ integrity one test is simple; anything done and said which pricks the conscience of any person including yourself, is against the norms of integrity. Choose the word you like, “integrity” or “conscience”, you would like to be described as and have trouble free career.

 

Integrity is generally limited to financial transactions, benefits, advantages particularly to those one is not entitled to: but it is very narrow view, however with reference to employment it is the only view that can be reasonably taken.  In fact, it is a system of accepted beliefs that control behaviour, in a system based on morals, for example ethical behaviors in the workplace includes; obeying company's rules, instructions and codes, effective communication, effective listening, taking responsibility positively, accountability, trust, mutual respect for colleagues etc. Discipline, decorum and decency are all part of integrity and should be enforced by the management for the development of integrity “Beyond Doubt” culture in the organization and for the welfare of the employees.

 

There is a saying, “reputation travels faster than the man”, this is equally true in case of integrity which assessed by others on the basis of your talk, behavior, corridor whispers, complaints particularly oral ones, your style of handling official matters relating to finance and grants, notes  recorded on files, your dealings with outsiders, your attitude etc. Employers keep a special watch on employees in these matters, so is the Govt. in a more powerful manner. Still there is so much corruption around reason is simple “Yatha Raja Tatha Praja”.  

 

When we employ a person to do some odd jobs at home, we expect him to be honest absolutely, simply because it is a home and remains open always. He is also supposed to be fully devoted to his job as it is not possible to keep a strict watch always on him and that we want a satisfactory job to be done. Similarly when another person employs us his expectations are similar to what we expected from our employee may it be home, office, factory or some other work place. In addition, employers want that their reputation – goodwill - brand should never be spoiled by the actions of the employees so they expect that an employee should do nothing which is unbecoming of an employee of that organization. All conduct rules or instructions prescribe that every employee shall maintain absolute integrity, devotion to duty and shall do nothing which is unbecoming of an employee of that organization. Thus we should follow the same set of standards whether it applies to ourselves or others whether at home or office.

 

Another factor that determines the level of one’s integrity is the satisfaction. How much one is satisfied with his lot, his achievement, his life, his luck, what he wants to achieve in life - peace, development, welfare of his family. More a man is satisfied with his circumstances higher is the level of his integrity lesser is greed and attraction towards allurements.

 

In fact, integrity has no levels, it is either “Beyond Doubt” or “Doubtful”. In rules integrity required is as, “Absolute Integrity” which means whatever be the quantum of allurement and his circumstances the person concerned will never be allured to accept the bribe by whatever name called. The employers expect an employee to be, “More loyal than the king”.

 

Spirituality, divinity and belief in the Almighty are the concepts that bring us near to the nature and the truth. They brings humility in life and destroys ego. More a man has belief in spirituality less likely is he becoming corrupt and more near to his conscience and hence the chances are that he would be more on the side of “integrity” that is “Beyond Doubt” integrity.

 

Conscience, the soul, the inner self has always been considered and in fact it is the part and parcel of bigger self the Almighty, is always pure, correct, pious and guides right. If we follow conscience our acts will always be “Beyond Doubt”, they would become “Doubtful” as soon as we act against the conscience.

 

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

                                                                  Frederick Douglass

 

Sometimes people are initiated into corruption-that is shown wrong path by those who are already in and are men of “doubtful” integrity: once in never out, like many other immoral but lucrative trades and professions. When one comes to know of such a situation; there is no compromise one has to fight it out with the strength of his character otherwise he would become part of the unbecoming lot. So beware: keep your conscience clear and integrity sterling.

 

Some people by nature have special terrible interest in some activities not indulged by normal human beings. Love of money is such one activity. They exploit every occasion right or wrong to mint but they do not know what they are doing and when caught it is all the mess for life and family. Once you are slave to such an interest you are always a slave of that habit.

 

Strong determination is a finest human trait, for betterment of life, a panacea for all achievements and a guard against failures, does not fail here also; so the determine to remain above board, that earns for an individual the title of “Man of integrity.”

 

The satisfaction that one derives from doing his duty is a great contributor to a person’s self-esteem and inner glow that keeps an individual away from many evils in employment. Job satisfaction, in fact is satisfaction of the inner self for having done something for earning one’s salt. More one has tasted job satisfaction lesser he is likely to be corrupt or a man of lose integrity.

 

“Whatever action is performed by great man, common men follow in his footsteps and whatever standards he sets by his exemplary acts, all the world pursues.” This is what Bhagwat Gita says about the qualities of a leader. If a leader follows these words of the Master of the Masters, Lord Krishna, there is no question of doubtful integrity. A sterling leader who enjoys leading people on the right path by his actions   and lives much after his death in the minds and actions of the people: whereas a corrupt person cannot even lead.

 

It is true that integrity alone won’t make you a leader,

but without integrity you will never be one.

Zig Ziglar

 

Honesty is the best policy. That is what has been taught by parents and teachers. Fact remains that if one has to live or deal with family, friends and society, he has to be honest otherwise sooner or later all of them would leave you one by one. Still there is one person with whom one can afford to be dishonest as long as one wants and as many times as he wants. All wrong acts are done by men when they become dishonest with themselves. Be honest with yourself that is the best policy that is what conscience is and that is what integrity is. 

 

Integrity is telling myself the truth.

 And honesty is telling the truth to other people.

Spencer Johnson

 

Integrity calls for courage to say “NO”. It is easier to say “No” to your partner, parents and friends but it is requires real courage to say “No”, to the person who gives you employment, but when to say “NO” that is real issue, one must say “No” when the orders given or the decision taken is not in the best interests of the organization and that too with reasons. It is said best civil servant is one who can say “No” to his boss.  One must show the courage when he is offered for the first time say smoking or alcohol that would save stress for years to come.  

 

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

 W. Clement Stone

 

 

Lord sends every human being with sterling integrity; it is subsequently he loses integrity for one reason or the other; it is jewel of human character; keep it safe and shinning.

 

If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing.

Henry Kravis

 

A normal human being when it comes to earning adopts a particular profession for life irrespective of jumping from one job to another in the initial stages, may it be self-employment or working with somebody else, may be a Govt. a company or even an NGO. Earning anywhere is associated with spending less than the income or the sales. In such a proposition, integrity the quality of doing right even when nobody is watching, is fundamental to a long career. Even when one is self-employed integrity is serving the customer with the best at the minimum cost to him, be true to the terms and conditions, helping the customer to have full satisfaction, if you fail to do all these things you will lose your organization sooner or later. In fact, absolute integrity is synonymous with long and trouble free career.

 

Before speaking, consult your inner-truth barometer,

 and resist the temptation to tell people only

what they want to hear.

 Wayne W. Dyer

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken (Lesson IV) (Conscience and Life)

 

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken

                              (Lesson IV)                 

(Conscience and Life)

 

Conscience is our wisest counselor and teacher, our most faithful and most patient friend.

 Billy Graham

 

Consciousness: Chetna: the state of being aware-of and responsive to one's surroundings, this how the dictionary defines consciousness. In addition, it is alertness of mind and body.   Dictionary defines Conscience as: the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good.

 

Fact of the matter is, the conscience is much more; it is difficult to define in exact words. It is the purest form of feeling beyond love and hate, profit and loss, life and death, possession and dispossession, act and not to act, mine and yours, victory and defeat, egoless, jealousy less, it is natural, instant and inadvertent, it is spontaneous, it is not calculated move, it is most appropriate in human response, it is feeling from the heart not from the mind, it is God sent rather it is what He wants to say to you to act or not to act or abstain.

 

It is the voice of your soul, comes from inside, it is intuition, it is natural free from any bias, it is right and most appropriate always, it is guard against mishaps, it gives decision and direction right and bright. The only thing is, a human being must learn how to listen, understand and talk to his conscience rather His conscience.

 

"Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain."                

                                                                       - Douglas Horton

Conscience is present in all living things like plants, animals, all living creatures, may be their degree of conscious awareness and responsiveness to one’s surrounding is less as compared to humans but they do respond and respond appropriately at strange time like when it is Sun eclipse for a long time and there is dark during the day, birds start returning to their nests and plants respond with quick growth when it rains for long time say for a week or so, they respond differently during the day and at night their response is quite different.

 

In addition, the non-living things like stones, rocks, mountains, rivers, and all the things which one can think of, have their conscience. Their response to the surroundings initiates only when they are disturbed by the outside forces otherwise they remain dormant and continue to follow their own path silently: in fact, they have suspended life in them, they need some action to revive the life. A Rocks continues to stand as it is for thousands of years but when it is disturbed by human activity, it behaves in a violent manner sometimes and if treated with love and affection it can be used for the welfare of human beings like stone idols in temples where they are treated as living Gods.

 

Still bigger like air, water, climate, environment all are conscious-full because they are all part of still bigger system, of planets of solar system, galaxy, Universe, beyond Universe, space anywhere is the essence of consciousness and conscience that human wisdom considers full.

 

Seniors say do not prick anybody’s conscience, because curse that creature gives is sure to fructify and hence the trouble for the picker. It so happens, because the conscience anywhere is part and parcel of the conscience of the Universe and beyond: the creator and controller of everything seen and heard. This is true of living things and equally true of non-living things. Fact of the matter is there are no separate consciences we are all part of the one conscience and all ill acts that we do, are after killing our own conscience that is against the conscience of whom we happen to be part, hence you are punished by your own guilty conscience.

 

A stone is aware of himself that it has to be at one place; not to move, not to hit its surroundings other things that happen to a stone is the result of action of others. When we prick a stone either by hammer or by removing the sand and soil below it creates a disaster by rolling done or by landslide as the people generally say.

 

How to experience a contact with your conscience, is a fundamental question that erupts in the mind of every person with prudence. People say different methods for this. The most common is meditation. But how to do, then there are innumerable methods. Easiest of all as I learnt from the discourse being delivered by one of the holy-men is as follows:

 

A holy-man invited those who pretended to be his disciples to his discourses with simple conditions that those entering his premises should place all gadgets such as cell phones etc. outside and should wear the clothes which are most comfortable: he further said please also place your worries, tasks, thinking, imagination, gossips outside and enter with empty mind and awareness of the body. Slowly the gathering starting leaving one by one as people could not comply with his last condition. When a limited number of people was there he rescheduled the discourse to next day but with same conditions.

 

Moral of the story is for some time we should keep our mind free from worldly affairs that helps us to talk to our own self and it is possible, but only if, we have the patience and time to practice.

 

Fact is, all things living and non-living, other than the man, behave and respond as per their conscience rather His conscience because they are pure whereas the man gets adulterated after his creation; adulterated by the faculties of his brain, mind and the environment in which he grows up, hence only he has the need to talk to His conscience and shed adulteration he has acquired. Now question is how much he should shed adulteration, reply is simple, a man to realize himself rather Him must come to the level of purity and emptiness with which he was sent by the Lord at the time his birth, that is empty mind and full awareness of his body.

 

Men everywhere have created an image of God as they like, personified Him as per their perception, given Him the name they like, believe in Him as per their convenience, worship Him the way they like, men offer many things to the Lord whereas he is fountain of everything on this earth, men go to different places to find the Lord whereas he is present everywhere as the Conscience of every creation seen and felt, men even fight for the God they believe in with those who do not believe in Him that way, whereas the other creations take the God as He exists that way they are much superior to man. 

 

Conscience drives the sleep out of one’s eyes when one has gone against it. It is that faculty that will be the first one to stop one from doing any wrong that goes against one’s moral evaluations. In short, conscience is the only factor, if one follow it, which will keep one in the straight path. However, the power of conscience can be quite fragile compared to one’s will to do wrong, but after the deed is done, its pinch will be the sharpest, which one can call guilt. So, no matter what, always heed to your conscience.

 

 

Is it that only we should try to talk to the Bigger Conscience or it also talks to us and listens what we want to say. Yes “Bigger Conscience”, also talks to us in the hours of need. History is full of the examples when nature guided people on the right path and He also appeared in person. He makes the impossible, possible, all solutions emanate from Him. He talks to each of His creations once in twenty four hours as many Sanatanis-followers of eternal dharma believe and they are perhaps correct also. But He definitely talks to His men on some important occasions for example at the time saying “yes” to marriage with a particular person. 

 

Shadi, marriage, phere, annad kaarj, lama, nikah, the most beautiful words in the life of a common man; the event he enjoys the most himself, many a times decides himself; normally has his approval; celebrates year after years. It is always a conscious decision to marry and marry a particular person; more so these days of open discussion with parents; your soul speaks to you to say go ahead. It is just one example where everybody listens to voice of his conscience at the appropriate time and then move further. Despite this maladjustments in marriage and married life are not uncommon, they are caused by adulteration of human mind by ego and considerations honoured by the individuals after killing their own conscience.

 

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

                                                                            Josh Billings

 

Conscience is such powerful that it guides a person in every situation particularly in difficult, unforeseen and tragic situations, when it provides you with the best of the alternatives. Without going into permutations and combinations of the situations and alternatives, it provides us with “Fight or Flight” options always and also guides what to choose. When you select “fight” as the alternative it provides you necessary mental and physical power and strength also and when selected alternative is “flight” it provides with the best of options. 

 

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.

                                                                           H.L. MENCKEN

 

"There is no witness so terrible and no accuser so powerful as conscience which dwells within us."

                                                                                - Sophocles