Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken (Lesson IV) (Conscience and Life)

 

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken

                              (Lesson IV)                 

(Conscience and Life)

 

Conscience is our wisest counselor and teacher, our most faithful and most patient friend.

 Billy Graham

 

Consciousness: Chetna: the state of being aware-of and responsive to one's surroundings, this how the dictionary defines consciousness. In addition, it is alertness of mind and body.   Dictionary defines Conscience as: the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good.

 

Fact of the matter is, the conscience is much more; it is difficult to define in exact words. It is the purest form of feeling beyond love and hate, profit and loss, life and death, possession and dispossession, act and not to act, mine and yours, victory and defeat, egoless, jealousy less, it is natural, instant and inadvertent, it is spontaneous, it is not calculated move, it is most appropriate in human response, it is feeling from the heart not from the mind, it is God sent rather it is what He wants to say to you to act or not to act or abstain.

 

It is the voice of your soul, comes from inside, it is intuition, it is natural free from any bias, it is right and most appropriate always, it is guard against mishaps, it gives decision and direction right and bright. The only thing is, a human being must learn how to listen, understand and talk to his conscience rather His conscience.

 

"Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain."                

                                                                       - Douglas Horton

Conscience is present in all living things like plants, animals, all living creatures, may be their degree of conscious awareness and responsiveness to one’s surrounding is less as compared to humans but they do respond and respond appropriately at strange time like when it is Sun eclipse for a long time and there is dark during the day, birds start returning to their nests and plants respond with quick growth when it rains for long time say for a week or so, they respond differently during the day and at night their response is quite different.

 

In addition, the non-living things like stones, rocks, mountains, rivers, and all the things which one can think of, have their conscience. Their response to the surroundings initiates only when they are disturbed by the outside forces otherwise they remain dormant and continue to follow their own path silently: in fact, they have suspended life in them, they need some action to revive the life. A Rocks continues to stand as it is for thousands of years but when it is disturbed by human activity, it behaves in a violent manner sometimes and if treated with love and affection it can be used for the welfare of human beings like stone idols in temples where they are treated as living Gods.

 

Still bigger like air, water, climate, environment all are conscious-full because they are all part of still bigger system, of planets of solar system, galaxy, Universe, beyond Universe, space anywhere is the essence of consciousness and conscience that human wisdom considers full.

 

Seniors say do not prick anybody’s conscience, because curse that creature gives is sure to fructify and hence the trouble for the picker. It so happens, because the conscience anywhere is part and parcel of the conscience of the Universe and beyond: the creator and controller of everything seen and heard. This is true of living things and equally true of non-living things. Fact of the matter is there are no separate consciences we are all part of the one conscience and all ill acts that we do, are after killing our own conscience that is against the conscience of whom we happen to be part, hence you are punished by your own guilty conscience.

 

A stone is aware of himself that it has to be at one place; not to move, not to hit its surroundings other things that happen to a stone is the result of action of others. When we prick a stone either by hammer or by removing the sand and soil below it creates a disaster by rolling done or by landslide as the people generally say.

 

How to experience a contact with your conscience, is a fundamental question that erupts in the mind of every person with prudence. People say different methods for this. The most common is meditation. But how to do, then there are innumerable methods. Easiest of all as I learnt from the discourse being delivered by one of the holy-men is as follows:

 

A holy-man invited those who pretended to be his disciples to his discourses with simple conditions that those entering his premises should place all gadgets such as cell phones etc. outside and should wear the clothes which are most comfortable: he further said please also place your worries, tasks, thinking, imagination, gossips outside and enter with empty mind and awareness of the body. Slowly the gathering starting leaving one by one as people could not comply with his last condition. When a limited number of people was there he rescheduled the discourse to next day but with same conditions.

 

Moral of the story is for some time we should keep our mind free from worldly affairs that helps us to talk to our own self and it is possible, but only if, we have the patience and time to practice.

 

Fact is, all things living and non-living, other than the man, behave and respond as per their conscience rather His conscience because they are pure whereas the man gets adulterated after his creation; adulterated by the faculties of his brain, mind and the environment in which he grows up, hence only he has the need to talk to His conscience and shed adulteration he has acquired. Now question is how much he should shed adulteration, reply is simple, a man to realize himself rather Him must come to the level of purity and emptiness with which he was sent by the Lord at the time his birth, that is empty mind and full awareness of his body.

 

Men everywhere have created an image of God as they like, personified Him as per their perception, given Him the name they like, believe in Him as per their convenience, worship Him the way they like, men offer many things to the Lord whereas he is fountain of everything on this earth, men go to different places to find the Lord whereas he is present everywhere as the Conscience of every creation seen and felt, men even fight for the God they believe in with those who do not believe in Him that way, whereas the other creations take the God as He exists that way they are much superior to man. 

 

Conscience drives the sleep out of one’s eyes when one has gone against it. It is that faculty that will be the first one to stop one from doing any wrong that goes against one’s moral evaluations. In short, conscience is the only factor, if one follow it, which will keep one in the straight path. However, the power of conscience can be quite fragile compared to one’s will to do wrong, but after the deed is done, its pinch will be the sharpest, which one can call guilt. So, no matter what, always heed to your conscience.

 

 

Is it that only we should try to talk to the Bigger Conscience or it also talks to us and listens what we want to say. Yes “Bigger Conscience”, also talks to us in the hours of need. History is full of the examples when nature guided people on the right path and He also appeared in person. He makes the impossible, possible, all solutions emanate from Him. He talks to each of His creations once in twenty four hours as many Sanatanis-followers of eternal dharma believe and they are perhaps correct also. But He definitely talks to His men on some important occasions for example at the time saying “yes” to marriage with a particular person. 

 

Shadi, marriage, phere, annad kaarj, lama, nikah, the most beautiful words in the life of a common man; the event he enjoys the most himself, many a times decides himself; normally has his approval; celebrates year after years. It is always a conscious decision to marry and marry a particular person; more so these days of open discussion with parents; your soul speaks to you to say go ahead. It is just one example where everybody listens to voice of his conscience at the appropriate time and then move further. Despite this maladjustments in marriage and married life are not uncommon, they are caused by adulteration of human mind by ego and considerations honoured by the individuals after killing their own conscience.

 

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

                                                                            Josh Billings

 

Conscience is such powerful that it guides a person in every situation particularly in difficult, unforeseen and tragic situations, when it provides you with the best of the alternatives. Without going into permutations and combinations of the situations and alternatives, it provides us with “Fight or Flight” options always and also guides what to choose. When you select “fight” as the alternative it provides you necessary mental and physical power and strength also and when selected alternative is “flight” it provides with the best of options. 

 

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.

                                                                           H.L. MENCKEN

 

"There is no witness so terrible and no accuser so powerful as conscience which dwells within us."

                                                                                - Sophocles

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken (Lesson III) (Universe and Life)

 

Stress and Joy of the Decisions Not Taken

(Lesson III)

(Universe and Life)

 

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

                                                                           Maya Angelou

 

Many a times life is not guided by the decisions taken by an individual but by the events already decided somewhere else. In fact, life is such a wonderful complex journey nobody knows what is going to be the next step.

 

Once I was just relaxing in sunshine after doing my holiday chores and the breakfast, way back fifty five years ago, when my friend roommate at Shimla entered our premises with a middle aged unknown person who appeared to be composed. He stayed with us for a night or two and the next morning I found, he was surrounded by so many persons particularly our co-dwellers of the building. He was an astrologer and a palmist too. Everybody was asking him so many question whereas he was attending one by one. Somebody suggested to me that I should also find out my future, from him. At that point of time I was more concerned about a better job. The astrologer friend himself replied that he would be meet me at his own will subsequently.

 

Next morning while sipping morning tea, he called me and said that he would make only two predictions about my future life. He made these predictions and these were one about my marriage and other one veiled one, perhaps he never wanted to tell me clearly about it.

 

In context of the later one, he said that when my age would be about 37 years, I will have to perform a very difficult and strenuous journey when one of my brothers would also be with me and the other one would not be there despite he would like to be there by all means. I asked for some more details but he did not oblige, except saying that he would pray that his prediction should never come true. At the time this prediction was made in 1967 my age was about 23 years, thus he made this prediction 14 years before the likely event.

 

Time passed, I qualified Assistant Grade Examination joined Central Secretariat Service at Delhi, Ministry of Communications, Directorate General of Posts and Telegraphs, got married in 1973, had my first boy child in 1974, passed Section Officers Limited Departmental Examination in 1976 and became Section Officer, had second child a doll in 1979. In the meantime one of my brothers who got married and was staying with me had started living separately but nearby and another still younger one was with me.

 

In the meantime God showered his Grace and I was allotted a plot of 150 square yard in Shalimar Bagh Delhi in 1977. I tried my level best to get a loan for house building but I could not, that is separate issue, so with whatever savings and friendly loans were available to me, I started construction of my house in 1980 sometimes May-June 1980.

 

My father came to help me in construction of the house, he being the person who had worked with a building contractor for some time after his superannuation so he had the experience of construction work. He came to us in September 1980. He used to be at the construction site whenever the work was in progress.

 

One day in the month of November 1980 he complained of short breath in the early morning, I took him to our physician after some medicine his breath was restored. After three four days he had the same problem at about 0900 PM at night, we called the physician at home he gave some medicine and my father went for taking sleep. But at about 10.00 P.M. he started snoring very heavily not seen by us like that earlier in his life. Youngest of three brothers present at Delhi was with him. He came running to me in the adjacent room. When I reached, this had already subside but I was not sure what was happening. So I went running to one of my friends nearby and brought him, on checking my father, he simply said that, “He has gone”.  I said “what”, we called the Doctor once again and he also confirmed his passing away. This is how now we were fatherless within minutes.

 

Now what to do. I had not seen death earlier in my family. We three brothers were together and decided to take his body to our native place and very reluctantly informed our family at Bathinda, it was initially telling that he was not maintaining good health so he is being brought to Bathinda but fact is, souls talk to souls without a medium, our mother understood, she simply said, “I know my son he has gone.” I had no other reply except to confirm and also told that he is being brought to Bathinda.

 

We started searching for the vehicle, I was attending to phone and also searching for vehicle when nothing happened, I sent my younger brother to AIIMS taxi stand and before he could manage we were able to arrange one. Now we were waiting for my brother him to return home. Before he could reach all the well-wishers present at our home forced us to leave so that we reach home before sunset. Under the extreme pressure, we left for Bathinda with the body of our father but without the brother who had gone to AIIMS Taxi Stand. We were seven, four adults and three children my son aged five, daughter one year plus and the first baby of my brother perhaps one year plus, almost without making any arrangement for these kids for journey. On the way vehicle got punctured, there was no puncture fixing shop nearby nor did the vehicle had spare tyre so the driver went somewhere and returned after more than an hour getting the tyre repaired, we were near country made liquor vend, internally I was slightly afraid being not the right place for a stopover in unknown surroundings that too with a family. However, some body arranged drinking water for us and on the way we could get some milk also for the little kids. All kids were feeling exhausted, I do not know what made them to remain calm.  It was a mini truck. For obvious reasons we did not take anything neither at home nor on the way. The vehicle was slow, the journey which takes normally about six hours even on State Transport Bus took more than twelve hours, and we could reach only after the sunset perhaps by 08.00PM, fully exhausted, it was not the time for further rites. When we were taking the body upstairs I saw my brother who was left behind also coming; he could get a train and reached almost the same time.

 

“My swan has been brought dead”, these were the words used by my mother to greet the body of my father.   She told some body to bring a bamboo stick longer than the body and place it along the body; she had a belief that bodies increase in size when kept overnight and by doing so it would not increase in length. What happened further I would not like to pen.

 

Till date I have not been able to reconcile myself as to how that astrologer was able to predict so accurately fourteen years before the event: he could read the decision already made by the Supreme perhaps even before sending my father to this world and who had also inscribed the same on my lines of hand like a carbon copy we humans do. Obviously a person does not control what is happening to him nor to his dear ones, everything goes as per the clock already set; we can only control our reaction to the situations as they unfold. This is what the Universe, the nature, the Lord  does to us; it makes its calculations perhaps millions of years before the happening and then sees to it that it happens, it perhaps decides so minutely that date, time, place, participants, their response, circumstances, situations and environment   of a happening all is determined. It, that way appears nothing is determined or decided by the man himself, he is made to live his life as it unfolds with the passage of time.

 

The Universe is most vibrant always expanding, creating, destroying, moving, breaking, exploding; every component complements and supplements the other; one moves the other gets something, still the Universe is the darkest place and also has the brightest stars, it is the coldest and the hottest. It is smoothest and it is most uneven too. It is vacuum and full also. It is open and still covers all the stars, planets, satellites and other celestial bodies. It is the most pure and still absorbs worst of gases and radiation as we know. It is custodian of life and death on the earth as we are seeing. It is also the sustainer of our life. Universe is so big that it can definitely take care of every single person on this earth besides other functions being performed by it. Its mechanism is unknown, so is the operator of the most complex phenomena.

 

I do not know whether it is correct or not but I feel movement of all planets in the Solar system affect immensely  the birth, life and death of all human beings and other kinds of life. Everybody knows how Sun and the Moon affect life on earth.

 

In addition, life is also affected by the movement and position of other stars and planets in the Universe even by those not known to the people on this planet. Fact of the matter is science has not been able to determine so far the shape and size of the Universe except that it is always expending and in motion. Nobody knows how many stars and planets are below or above, parallel or diagonal to this solar system. All of them affect human life. All the aberrations in the life of the individuals are result of the activities going on in the stars and planets not known to us.

 

Life normally understood as “Paranvayo” “air” of five elements is certainly not air or any other known element; it is much more than that; it is different, given and taken also, who give and who takes, why he gives and why he takes, what is the need to do, what is time interval between the two, had it been air only men would have kept many alive for centuries together. It is certainly “On Off” phenomena. A mother knows when it is “on” in her foetus and everybody comes to know when it is “Off”. It is the sixth element not named so far.

 

Science knows about black holes. They are extremely dense, with such strong gravitational attraction that even light cannot escape their grasp if it comes near enough. What is beyond black holes: science on the earth does not know: possibility of something beyond black holes cannot be ruled out. Life of Universe is unknown and so are the activities and its contents.

 

How many stages after black holes can be any body’s guess. What further happens to the mass of the black holes nobody knows.

 

Sanatan Dharma recognizes that GOD, Generator (Brahama) Operator (Vishnu) and Destroyer (Shiva) are beyond time and space, birth and death, they have no shape (Nirankar), they take the shape and birth too whenever they feel like, Sanatan Dharam scriptures are full of the instances the shapes they have taken. If we consider them first level after the Universe, Braham is the second level and Parbrahmparmeshwar has to be the third, the Master, the Supreme. It is difficult to apprehend the shape of Braham and Parbrahmpareshwar.  

 

What is the shape, length, breadth, height, looks of Parbrahmparmeshwar nobody knows. Where he lives what he eats. How he operates and manages are the thousands questions which science has not been able to answer. But Sanatan Dharma scriptures do give description of the place where the God lives and also the place where the soul goes for adjustments after death. Science has still to find answer to these question. Most of the Sanatan Dharma scriptures are intuition based, intuition the medium when Nature, God speaks to humans, so they are authentic and can be believed. However, science can have its own proof.

 

The black hole teaches us that space can be crumpled like a piece of paper into an infinitesimal dot, that time can be extinguished like a blown-out flame, and that the laws of physics that we regard as “sacred,” as immutable, are anything but.

                                                                      John Wheeler

 

It is said that fact is sometimes stranger than fiction, and nowhere is this more true than in the case of black holes. Black holes are stranger than anything dreamt up by science fiction writers.

                                                                Stephen W. Hawking

 

Such a phenomena has to affect the life and death on our planet.

 

My father himself was perhaps aware about the forthcoming events, at least, two months before he left for heavens, he had told one of our workers at the construction site that he would not see the roof of the house being laid. This was revealed to us by the worker concerned after my father had already left for his heavenly abode. In fact, even before this he had an inkling that he is perhaps performing his last train journey to Delhi. Does the nature sends a message before it takes away what it had given - the life.

 

No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.

                                                                                    Euripides

 

Stress and Joy of Decisions Not Taken (Lesson II)

Stress and Joy of Decisions Not Taken

(Lesson II)

 

“Life presents many choices, the choices we make determine our future.”

                                                                  – Catherine Pulsifer

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.

                                                              Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

It was early morning of month of April 1956 may be first week, do not know the time exactly may be before 05.00 A.M., I was half asleep, but surely one train used to come to our place from Ambala early morning, I heard voice of my eldest brother, he had come home by that early morning train, our parents were happy, there was vibration at home. There was some charisma in my brother; he was a person who made his presence felt wherever he happened to be.  As the morning progressed my brother said he has come to take me to his place and get me admitted in school there for further studies. It excited me as that was the capital city of Patiala and was considered developed, I was perhaps more willing than my parents who had already willingly agreed.

 

As myself and my brother boarded the train the next day sixty six years back, different flashes were coming to my mind, I was perplexed with the thought of a new school, new friends, new class the sixth and so on. It was a journey of about five hours in those days of passenger trains and bus services were scanty. My sister-in-law liked me, I was a welcome person in the nuclear family of two persons. However, there was no change in the home we were living in one room with our parents and my brother was also living in a single room accommodation that meant everything, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and drawing room too and some space in the Barsati as was usually known in those days- a space covered by tin sheets to keep cots and beddings used for sleeping at night in open. In addition, there were so many persons of our landlord around and I happened to be youngest, those were the days when families mixed with each other. It appeared a good environment.

 

Within two three days I had new two nickers-half pants, two half sleeve shirts and a pair of shoes with socks all resembling the uniform of local Cambridge School although concept of school uniforms had not developed in community schools at that time. A home-made satchel was also prepared for me. After three-four days my elder brother took me to the school he had chosen for me. I was dressed in Cambridge School uniform, it was Shri Sanatan Dharm Sanskrit English High School (S.D.S.E.) a well-known community school of the town, I was admitted in Sixth Class no procedures, the teacher just wrote my name in a register and admission was over, fee was perhaps paid the next day and the teacher asked me to sit in the class. Sixth was a big class with about seventy students. The jumbo class room was on the first floor something not available in my previous schools.

 

When Independence Day was about to come I was selected as a member of the Nehru Brigade consisting about 20 smart students. We were given some training as how to march in parade and given by the school snow white dress - Shirt, Pyajami, canvas shoes and Nehru cap, for participation in the District Level Independence Day Celebrations held at Yadvindra Stadium. A big rose flower was hung on the pocket of each of us by our teacher before the start of the function.  So I participated in those celebrations witnessed by a few thousand people , it was something new for me and my brother, he was excited and he received me after the celebrations at the venue itself.

 

While living at the aforesaid place, I used to be go almost regularly to the Punjab State Library, Children Section and I still remember globe and cut maps were my favorites. I felt privileged to go there and a feeling that I was different from others.

 

When with my parents, our school was at a walking distance so during recess we rushed home for refreshment, a culture in those with students in my city Bathinda. When I came to stay with my brother here the students used to play during recess or would do their home task in school itself still others enjoyed small favorites from the street hawkers at the gate of the school. I also followed my class-mate but slowly my brother used to give me once or twice a week half anna, anna or a duwani equal to present 1/32, 1/16, 1/8 of a rupee to enjoy at school, when it was duwani then it was a feast day. 

 

In seventh, class room was again on the first floor but in the opposite corner of the building. One day I had come down to take water on the ground floor and was in the same Cambridge School uniform. As soon as I finished a well-dressed person asked me in which class I was studying and before I could reply he put his hand on my shoulder and said let us go to the class. When we entered the class he was holding my hand and the teacher was astonished, he had a conversation for a few minutes with the teacher and continued to hold my hand and after a few minutes he asked me take seat. He was inspector of schools and it created an impression with teachers as if I was known to him.    

 

In eighth class we were shifted to main building of the school, thus I had become a senior student supposed to be more concerned with studies and was selected for the Principal’s Class in English once a week for two months before the final examinations free of any additional fee, it was a great thing and there were some jealous people too, they were astonished as to how I got into Principal’s class. At that time, eighth was a Board Examination Class. The teachers helped us a lot to face the examination every teacher every day was devoting additional time and inspections by the Education Board were quite frequent. When results were announced I was placed in First Division the standard for outstanding students in those days of narrative answers not the objective type questions of the present era.

 

During this three years period the family which consisted at the beginning only three persons including me had blown to six; one baby was added every year and I used to take care of babies when free after the school and also after doing the home task, when my Bhabi Sahiban was doing household chores. It was tough job for her to manage the show, although she was fully devoted hard worker and a homely person without the touch of modernity at that time. Income of the family had not increased as much as the needs despite brother had been doing some additional work also after office hours and also that he got a promotion as Assistant Draftsman. As such perhaps there was need to reduce the expenditure. For obvious reasons it was not possible to reduce expenses for the babies they were so small. Even otherwise our family was not in luxuries it was all necessities only. So in some calculations it was being suggested obliquely to send me back to my parents and at the same time since I was brought to his place by my brother himself it was being suggested that let me complete the schooling which meant another three years in the school as by then secondary system of schooling had been introduced. So as a alternative and a midway solution was thought by somebody after I passed eighth class. I was prompted to appear for Matriculation Examination of Punjab University, in those days the end of schooling although Secondary School system had already been introduced so I joined private coaching classes with other senior members of my brother’s in-laws family. Thus covering ninth and tenth in one year that too without any guidance at home or tuition something strenuous. I had no plan except reading and writing and sometimes cramming too without understanding.   I passed Matriculation in first attempt but in third division i.e. less than 45% marks and could not clear science subjects and hence the science stream got blocked forever for me. In addition my schooling ended at eighth class, which now I feel was greater loss for overall development of my personality and learning about life but it finished the schooling within one year after passing eight class. Another ramification of this was that I lost all my school friends and coaching institute was not a place to develop any friendship. During this period one more baby joined our family so now we were seven.

 

After Matriculation exams I came back to my parents, result was announced later. One chapter of life thus ended. Every time whether going to brother’s place or coming back to my parent’s decisions were taken by somebody else not by me perhaps I was too young to take those decisions but they had an impact on my growing up, education and personality. Those were the days when even schooling was considered sufficient, all my seniors in my family and that of in-laws of my brother had done schooling only nobody had gone beyond. Families were more or less primitive in nature earning, eating and reproduction was order of the day with most, higher education and personality development were not common although known, and not considered important aspect of life. I do not know how those decisions were taken but they did have an impact on my life and career.

 

Thus it was end of my schooling - a mixed blessings era of my life.

 

“The hardest decisions in life are not between good and bad or right and wrong, but between two goods or two rights.”            

                                                                             – Joe Andrew

 

“Choice is the basis of every part of your existence, but so is fear. The difference is, choice creates movement, where fear limits movement.”

                                                                       – Réné Gaudette