Stress
and Solace Of
Looking
After An Ailing Senior
"Caring
for our seniors is perhaps the greatest responsibility we have. Those who
walked before us have given so much and made possible the life we all
enjoy." Senator John Hoeven
My
wife had a hunch for a long time that her mother was suffering from breast cancer.
One cold winter evening, when I returned from office, my partner said, she had
examined the breast of her mother and found that there was a lump hard one on
the right side, she was afraid whether it could be malignant growth in common
language Cancer. What to do? She wanted to have it confirmed; on medical
advice, we got her tested and then the reports were examined by our family
physician who confirmed that, “yes” she was having malignant growth and advised
that she must go for an operation as early as possible.
We
went to a specific Surgeon in a well-known but a common man’s private Cancer Hospital affordable and effective. The Learned
Surgeon, after long wait examined her thoroughly and asked one wonderful
question but very common; “Mataji, what is your age”. In my presence, she
replied eighty three years and the Surgeon replied: “My mother, you have now
come to the care of your elder son and he won’t allow you to die before you
complete a century.” There was a smile on everybody’s face more so on the face
of my mother-in-law who felt encouraged that it is curable and in her curiosity
she asked the surgeon what she is required to do. The Surgeon said, “Not much,
get admitted in the Hospital stay with me just for three-four days and then go
home”. It happened like that only. We admitted her in the Hospital next day
that too in a general ward bed, somebody had advised us that whatever may be
the room rent, “surgeon and the treatment remains the same and that they follow
Hippocratic Oath in letter and spirit.”
"Wherever
the art of Medicine is loved, there is also a love of Humanity.”
― Hippocrates
She
was got admitted in the hospital in the afternoon, on that day
she was examined thoroughly: many tests were conducted: the next day at 10.00
AM was the appointed time for the surgeon to show his magic: she was in the
operation theatre at the appointed time, she came back in the Intensive Care ward
at about 12.30 PM and gained her consciousness by 02.00 PM. She lay in the
position as advised by the Doctors but was happy with a broad smile as is her
face and next day she was again examined and some tests conducted and the
fourth day she was discharged with a prescription of medicine with other advice
and the direction to attend Emergency for complications, if any.
She
was doing well, however, one day the
wound got filled with watery fluid and she was feeling uneasy: so we took
her to Emergency Ward of that hospital when attended to, Doctor punctured her
skin and it burst like fountain that sprinkled on the face of the Doctor, we
were all feeling embarrassed that the Doctor has been put to such an
inconvenience and we said, “Sorry” to the Doctor: but Doctor said why anyone
should feel sorry and said it is part of
the profession and it is duty of every Doctor to remove pain and discomfort to
every patient: she just cleaned her face, came back within minutes and started
the treatment immediately. After an hour’s stay at the hospital we returned
home.
“I
remind my fellows, residents and medical students that what we do is a
privilege. People let us into the most intimate aspects of their lives, and
they look to us to help guide them through very complex and delicate
situations.”
Shikha Jain, MD
via Kevin MD
On
the third day of our stay at the said Hospital, a Doctor had personally come to
us with a form, to get our permission to use, a portion of whatever had been
removed from the breast of my mother-in-law, for medical research purposes. We
never knew that whatever removed malignant growth portion had been preserved by
the Hospital Authorities. We felt pleasantly surprised that despite the dreaded
disease my mother-in-law perhaps be part of the people that help humanity to reduce pain of the ailment that too cancer.
She
went back to her home at Chandigarh, where she developed serious complications
and was given radiation therapy there by one of the best medical facilities in
India: after that she is alright so far as Oncology issues are concerned, of
course, medicine is a regular routine with her.
Before
this when she was about seventy years old, there was a cyst in
her uterus and the Doctors at a well-known Hospital had decided to remove the
same by operation, but on the day fixed for operation, the surgeon who was to
operate asked the juniors to measure the size of the cyst and it was found the
its size had reduced as compared to the day on which it was decided to operate,
so it was decided not to operate but to continue with medicine and finally the
cyst disappeared and she became healthy. No operation was conducted.
Once
I noticed: about six inches below her neck on her back that there was a
depression of about one inch diameter
and one inch depth, just touching her backbone. I had not seen such a
depression earlier with anybody. When checked up with the Doctor; he explained
that the fat at that place has disappeared but it is not a reason to worry: no
treatment is required.
Earlier
she had undergone knee replacement procedure for both the knees
and there were complications and her one knee was operated thrice: she remained
in the hospital for three long months: even now she continues to complain of
burning sensation in one of the knees and legs. Whenever she is taken to a
physician, they say operation was perfectly all right. During her stay in the
hospital, she was administered antibiotic injection right on the wound of the
operation of knees and that too without local anesthesia. I do not know,
whether that procedure was as approved by the medical science and practice or
it was just an experiment, but fact remains it was very painful and brought
tears of pain not only in her eyes but also those who were attending him. It is
not difficult to imagine the stress it caused to the patient and to the attendants.
When asked the medical staff attending on her simply said that the treatment is
being given just to stop the infection as it takes time for the medicine to
reach the required spot. Any prudent human being can understand why she was in
the hospital for three months for a procedure which is normally over in seven
to ten days and the patient is on his legs. Obviously everything was not all right
with the operation of the right knee.
Even
otherwise she is a patient of cervical
spondylitis which sometimes goes right up to lower portion of torso and
causes lot of pain and inconvenience to her: she uses collar and also medicines
when not tolerable.
In
addition to above, she is diabetic also
and takes medicine before meals daily but still she has love for jalebi and
other sweets: even otherwise she likes to have sweet items like ice-cream and
mangoes, despite against the norms for diabetics.
She
has stiff joints particularly shoulder
joints that do not move fully clock-wise or anti-clock wise: thus she is not
able to perform some of her daily routine functions like combing her hair;
putting on her clothes, and taking bath, so she has to be helped.
In
addition to the above she is also
suffering from Asthma occasionally: although attacks are a few: she takes medicine
regularly, nebulizer is not unknown to her: when in more trouble she nebulizes
otherwise she is okay, when she will need no body can predict and then the need
is immediate. Thank God, she has not gone to hospital on this account so far.
She
is also suffering from Insomnia: sleep disorders, she does
not get sleep for days together. Earlier we used to get for her Alprex 0.25 mg
across the counter but now this has been placed by the Govt in narcotics list
result banned from sale across the counter: sale is only on Doctor’s prescription.
Sometimes her non-sleep period is for three-four days and this causes lot of
stress to her and sometimes she weeps also.
There
is one more problem she is facing that acute headache
she sometimes develops. It is beyond control of common patent medicines or
balms. It is controlled only by specific medicines prescribed by the physician
and sometimes even that fails: nobody can help she faces it and others can just
feel the pain only.
She
also has stones in her kidneys and they too sometime
create problems beyond her control, pain and vomiting too. Operation at this
stage is not advised so only medicine is pain killers and antacids along with
your capacity to bear pain.
She
is also hard of hearing has the hearing machine also, but
seldom uses. So she speaks very loud and expects others to speak loud:
sometimes we are astonished that she listens even the lowest volume sound and
it is irritating too.
She
has lost all her teeth: so she has all artificial teeth
removable and removes them at night sometimes she complains of pain in her gums
and many a times she does not wear her teeth for whole the day. These
artificial teeth are not comfortable to her. As a result she needs soft food,
if food contains some not so soft substances like peanuts in Poha (a crushed
rice dish) that is removed before food is served. However it is going on well.
By
God’s grace she has always been healthy, size and weight wise,
perhaps many diseases are the result of such health: now she is losing weight
perhaps that is natural process.
She
also suffers from normal gastric issues also; for the simple
reason that her body movement is very less, administration of digestive enzymes
is more or less a regular affair.
Her
body is slightly shaky obviously it is shakier at night
that is normal with all human being. She needs to be taken care of at night
lest she falls and breaks her bones that would be too costly both physically
and economically so as soon as she gets up from her bed she is accompanied by
somebody to the bathroom and back.
As
with all human beings particularly those who are near ninety or more their level of confidence falls; so is
with my mother-in-law result is that in
her day to day life she seems to be impatient whenever in need of
anything and repeats quite fast her demand and continues to call others till
her callings are effectively replied to.
Human
being with advanced age try to evoke
sympathy of others on the basis of their age and she is not an exception
although her degree in this respect it appears is much less.
The
best part of my mother in law at this age of 90, is that she is able to manage her daily affairs with
slight help and is quite regular.
Constipation
is not abnormal at this age. People try so many things, main reason
being too smooth a food without roughage. She takes herbal mixture as a routine
like gooseberry powder and Sat-Sat-Isabgol (Psyllium Husk) but she is not
afraid of allopathic medicines when required. If it does not happen it is big
problem and upsets many other items of day to day life and our home too.
With
so many ailments and age related issues, she is being looked after well by her daughters
alternatively eldest being aged 72.
Presently,
my mother-in-law is staying with us, as a first step to take
care of her: she is not left alone at any moment, not even at night: when both
of us along with her sleep in the same room, advantage is whenever she has to
go to bathroom at least one of us mostly my wife is aware and if need be she is
helped to go to bathroom and we do not sleep till she is back on her bed. Another
thing is her voice is not ignored simply because she may need help. This is 24x7 routine all the days she
stays with us and during this period our outside visits are totally prohibited
unless they are absolutely necessary that too after making necessary
arrangements for her care and these are kept absolutely short.
In
addition her food requirements are also taken care meticulously keeping view
she is diabetic and also have love for sweets: besides above like all the human
being she like to have taste of
yesteryears which my wife tries to meet like mango with gravy.
Everything
is done by my wife for her mother, it causes sometimes stress, strain, fatigue
and sometimes irritation too but she is very devoted
everything is done in the spirit of:
"To
care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors."
- Tia Walker
We
have well stocked medicine kit at home; so for any problem we can
give her at least the first aid type help, simply because we have learnt from
Doctors over a period of time about so many patent medicines which are safe and
can be given without any harm or side effects. This helps us a lot in her pain
and ache management which are numerous right from head to toe like that of
colic, cervical, stomach, headache etc. Her blood pressure and sugar is
regularly tested to ensure lest they remain in manageable limits and whenever
they exceed the limits she is taken to Doctor for medical advice and treatment.
We
have the same family doctor, a medical specialist (Dr. S. K. Aggarwal B.Sc. M.B.B.S. M.D.
(Medicine) for the last almost four decades and he is also well
aware about the medical history and health of each person at our home including
my mother-in-law, as such we are free to consult him even on phone, the
pleasant thing about him is that he lifts the phone even at odd hours and
advises on phone also. This helped us a lot during Corona period to remain
disease free.
I
am a doctor - it's a profession that may be considered a special mission, a
devotion. It calls for involvement, respect and willingness to help all other
people.
Ewa Kopacz
It's
even pleasant to be sick when you know that there are people who await your
recovery as they might await a holiday.
Anton Chekhov
Oh my Lord keep everybody healthy and
happy in old age.
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