Stress of When My Wife was Brought Home
Drunk
My advice to you is get married: if you
find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
When
I reached home at about 07.30 PM a few days back, our Maid informed me, as
usual that (my wife) Mem - Sahib had
already left for her kitty party and that she was picked up from our home
by her neighbourhood friend a member of kitty party who was sought after Bar
Tenderer both professional as well as it
was her hobby, she could make a teetotaler to drink beer, wine and
whiskey as much as she likes that was her charm and magic sitting on the other
side of the bar, stock full with dancing glasses and pouring golden brown
nectar in an intoxicating style. I became apprehensive that return of Mem Sahib
would be late night and would be different.
I
enjoyed my dinner with moongdal (yellow dal the golden magic
delicacy in northern states of India) and crystalized butter (Desi Ghee) lachha
pranathas, mango pickle, vinegar onion
salad and of course sweet lassi –smoothened curd with ice, sugar, Red Rooh Afza
and milk - a tonic for giving one good
deep sleep. I had my heart fill of all the nutritious and tasty things and then
went to my bed room, listened to yesteryears golden songs of Binaca Geetmala
with the commentary from Ameen Sayani Sahib, I do not know, when I fell asleep.
At
about 02.30 A.M., when I was fast asleep our maid knocked door of my bed room
hard, I could get up only after five-seven minutes, when I opened the door she
was standing highly confused and afraid, uttering something loudly like a mad
person, I could not make out what it was as I will still sleepy. Slowly I
picked up the courage to console her and then she said that the main door bell
was ringing for the last ten – twelve minutes. I rushed towards the main door and peeped through door eye and saw
three men and three ladies in two rows, of course first row ladies so gentle
and second row men looking like scoundrels, ladies with scattered hairs were holding my wife tight from all the three
sides, standing near the main door of our home. All were make-up spoiled,
highly wrinkled clothes, neckties and pants loose, shirts all button open,
shoes polished spoiled, seeing all this was irritating making me angry from toe
to top. A thought that came to my mind again and again was I should not open
the door, let them be kept standing for some time more. But it appeared they
had lot of patient or fear that all of them were standing still like statues,
or too determined as if they would g o only after a job is done, looking at
each other with searching eyes: I was trying to make out where our neighbor mam
was but she was nowhere seen. Our maid
was urging me again and again to open the door but I was trying to make out
what was happening. Ultimately she prevailed, because her boss appeared in
trouble.
I
opened the door slowly without any noise but too cautious;
two ladies who were holding my wife tight pushed her towards me and the third
one supported her from behind as if she was reluctant to enter home, in the
process all the four slipped and were flat on the ground, it was a very
pathetic and terrible scene, four ladies laying flat on the floor, three jokers
who had accompanied them were not ready to help standing mute spectators,
perhaps my presence spoiled the show of kindness. Ultimately, I had to give my
wife a helping hand. I tried my best to lift her like in the Bollywood movies
but my all the attempts failed, as she was about 70 Kilogram, anyway I slowly
pushed her in home and before I could see backward all the six gentleman and
gentle ladies had disappeared as the ghost in horror movies. I could not even
thank them for bringing my wife home at dead of the night and in that wonderful
funny but horrifying way as if a culprit caught by saints.
Once
my wife was inside, our Maid helped me lot. My wife was slippery
all over I do not know what it was: a cake, curry, coke, sweets left over,
milk, curd, wine, beer, whiskey or something else: but whatever it was, smell
was too stinky and foul, both myself and the maid were facing the brunt of the
party she had indulged in. Somehow she was brought inside our bed room and
pushed to lay on the bed. As soon as she was on the bed, the Maid left
immediately and shut the door, she was intelligent enough and sincere too.
When
we were alone, I tried to ask her what had happened
but she was very silent and appeared so sober and pretended as if she wanted to
sleep. As the smell from her was frightening, I asked her to change but she
bluntly refused as if that foul smell was very dear to her, but I could not
withstanding that non-sense. I urged her again and again to change but she was
bold enough to refuse every time. Ultimately, I left her alone in the bed and
lay down on the sofa, sometimes asleep and other moment awake hoping that she
would need medical attention and if need be I should to near her like a good
husband, after all she is my wedded wife.
I
do not know when her sleep was broken: at about 08.30 A.M.
next morning when I woke up, she was in the kitchen well dressed with full
make-up perhaps with a view to look more attractive and pretty than ever
before, requesting me to forget the previous night drama of seven artists in
street of our main door. I do not know whether she was clever or wise enough to
put a curtain on the events.
She
prepared the most delicious breakfast of my liking and served it
like never before in a most romantic fashion. I was feeling like Ranjha of
Punjabi love tales but still trying to understand what had happened the
previous night in the so called kitty party. She was tight lipped but pretended
as if the day was most romantic and great.
Good
thing about the whole incident was that our children one
boy and other doll were in their teens and in the hostel school; so could not
see the drama enacted by their mother a night before. But my parents did ask,
“What was happening at night, was there something wrong.” I simply replied that
Mam was not feeling well, but neighbours were aware as one of them also turned
up at that time.
Simple
to say, but very difficult to face such a situation.
The three men and four ladies at night outside your house makes you shiver,
everybody other apprehensive that too deep night. Why men were there at ladies
Kitty party not husbands but friends anybody can understand and conclude
whatever one likes. Was it not an adult entertainment party, some may conclude?
When neighbours are aware how our family particularly we the couple would be
viewed. Why she was smelling foul and sticky. Foul smell, many would conclude, full
of whiskey and wine but why sticky there can any assumption nobody can catch
anybody by mouth. However, it was perhaps booze party:
"That's
the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something
bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you
drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something
happen."
~ Charles Bukowski
Now
I think one would be able to appreciate the position, feelings and stress of
husband of such a lady in our social environment.
What to do? There are two alternative, first is forget and forgive and thereby
enjoy the happiness of what I have and the second is find out the true facts
and then proceed as one wishes. However, as per conservative standards to which
I belong and believe, it is good case for divorce to seek and then search and
make her also to search for another life partner; but who knows that would be
better or worse than this and if the second option prevails that it is worse,
it would be tension and depression for life and also a difficult proposition
for the children to accept and repentance for life. So I chose the first option
of forget and forgive, giving more weightage to forget then to forgive. I
thought it was a bad dream.
If
one views such a situation with reference to marriage, it makes an interesting
study. Marriages the world over are either arranged or love
solidified. In arranged marriages at any age, one can definitely study the
bio-data given, see the face, meet the parents, have meetings three four times,
make enquiries from friends and neighbours, make ensure the horoscope
compatibility and whatever other things he can do. Similarly in love marriages
face of the girl has the maximum impression on the man: manners and patience to
listen on the part of the boy for the girl; other things get shadowed by these
two factors. In India, despite love, people try to show them as arranged
marriage because it has social approval more as compared to love marriage.
However
a marriage is sustained in addition to love and biological requirements, by
cooperation, adjustment, temperament, respect, capacity to listen, appropriate
communication skills, culture and heritage of the partners family, zeal to
sacrifice, tolerate elders – a necessary evil at least in Indian conditions
etc. These are so complex matters that there exists no barometer to judge their
height or depth. Hence the marriage success remains more or less a gamble or
luck that is why people in India say marriages are made in heaven and
solemnized on the earth.
“Who
we marry is one of the most important decisions in life. One that will
influence the level of happiness, growth, and success, like no other choice.”
– Nathan Workman
There
is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day
knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his
footsteps.
Ronald Reagan
I
requested my wife in her weak moments that whenever she wanted to enjoy such a
party we can arrange at our home and that would give her a good enjoyment and
the family would also enjoy. Result is such my dream never came true and
thereafter she never went to kitty party, all
kitties were promptly paid off full and final.
Reconciliation The Greatest Act of Love
A successful marriage requires falling
in love many times, always with the same person.”
– Mignon McLaughlin
No comments:
Post a Comment