Every Stress is Unique
Handle
with Care
Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you
are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it,
to know it, to realize it.
Acharya Rajneesh “OSHO”
It is not the load that breaks you down; it is
the way you carry it. Lou
Holtz
Every human being is a unique creation of the Lord. Everyone has his own genes, habits,
circumstances, environment, bringing up, likes and dislikes, level of
contentment, inner happiness, worries, ways to tackle life, attitude and so on.
No two persons are identical not even the twins. While dealing with stress one
must keep in view this godly characteristic of human beings and also that every
situation has its own intricacies and is different. No two persons feel, think
or behave identical in the same circumstances; in difficult issue their stress
levels are different; some feel totally broken by stress and others feel
stress-free. Every stress is Unique so it has to be handled in a unique way.
Thus stress
is a relative term. It cannot be measured like body temperature nor it can
be treated every time with paracetamol. No code has so far been developed to
prescribe standard operating procedure for tackling stressed or depressed individuals;
there lies the expertise of the motivators trying to rationalize others and to
bring them face to face with the ground realities.
Relativity of stress depends broadly upon
one’s:
(i) Attitude
towards life and
(ii) Attitude
towards stressful situation
Attitude towards life is a comprehensive term
it includes your attitude, approach, general outlook, way of behaving,
feelings, what you expect from life, internal happiness, responsibility taking
behavior, want to be part of solution or problem etc etc. One’s expectations,
like money, respect, regards, welfare, contentment, social status, peace from
life determines to a great extent one’s response and reaction to your
surroundings and happenings therein. Even knowing all this; it is not possible
to define attitude in few words, however it is built by number of factors.
First brick of our attitude towards life is
laid down by our genes or inheritance,
they not only decide our physical structure but also our mental faculties to a
large extent. Some tribes are known for criminal attitude and others are shy
and timid, still others are aggressive and out spoken.
The value
system in which we have been brought up and ingrained in us, is the
foundation of our character; integrity, devotion, dedication, empathy,
industry, manners, respect for the rights of others, fulfilling one’s duty. The
strength of one’s character is the strongest wall against stress and its
ill-effects. Children are sent to boarding schools to inculcate in them
self-confidence, decision making, discipline, obedience and be self-reliant.
Spirituality-that everything moves as per HIS ORDER- is
another ingredient of attitude towards life and a strong belief in Him; is an
additive to positivity which enhances and develops a correct attitude.
Spiritual belief is a fountain of strength & truth, and that you are not
alone in any adverse circumstances. One must learn to listen the voice of intuition
and have the courage to talk honestly with self: these are boulders that
support a correct attitude in life.
Self-esteem means confidence in one’s own worth and
abilities, self-respect, self-regard, feeling of dignity and pride in one’s
performance. It develops strong conviction and willingness to accept responsibility
and helps to build optimistic attitudes. Job-satisfaction is an important
indicator that the person has self-esteem. Obviously such persons are
self-motivated and store house of delivery- a source of fulfillment and solace
to soul.
Another factor that determines relativity of
stress is one’s attitude towards the
stressful situation.
Personal
involvement in a
situation determines the degree of stress. More-closely one is involved higher
the stress and longer it is. Similarly age and stage in life also affect stress
levels. Ordinarily elders are less stressful in difficult situations because
most of the time they know the probable outcome of events.
Some of us are men of principles and others
also follow some principle or forced to follow some: e.g. honesty and integrity
are forced behaviors; so more the extent of compromise of these principles higher is the stress. Human beings
in principle are peace loving whenever this love for peace is disturbed by any
accident or incident we feel disturbed and thus are stressed. Whatever one does
and likes to hide from others is stressful and open actions known to everybody
have no stress for the doer. So whatever one does he must be positively
convinced to be stress-free.
How we communicate
is dependent on our knowledge, control and expression of language. We must
choose the correct words to express our thoughts and view, right words at right
time, exact words can play wonders. If nothing possible keep your communication
short and simple, straight and soft, polite and polished; that would avoid many
unnecessary stressful situations.
Longer a
situation exists more stressful it is, sharper a situation is higher is the impact and then the time a great
healer plays its own role. Tsunami is always quick and fast but short-lived,
thereafter it is a time to assess the damage, dispatch relief and save the
injured.
Fact of the matter is that one’s attitude
towards life is one’s character and its strength; whereas attitude towards a
situation is application of attitude towards life.
Thus
when so many things interact with each other the techniques and application thereof
has to suit the needs of time and the individual concerned.
“The
greatest weapon against stress
is our
ability to choose one thought over another.”
William James
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